


Boys’ Nights Out!

by SunSh1n3



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Boys Being Boys, Byakuya is still a meanie but he is not as bad I swear, Developing Friendships, Gen, Hifumi is a redditor this is not up for debate, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Male Fujisaki Chihiro, Male Pronouns for Fujisaki Chihiro, Minor spoilers for the Scream series (killers and victims), Owada Mondo Swears, Sleepover at Byakuya’s house, Sleepovers, Slow To Update, Spring Break, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25024771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunSh1n3/pseuds/SunSh1n3
Summary: It’s Spring break, and the boys of Hope’s Peak Academy’s Class 78th make plans to have a massive sleepover for the entire two week period! Chaos reigns, stupidity is a constant, and friendships strengthen as the boys spend the days together.
Relationships: Class 78 Boys, Fujisaki Chihiro & Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Kuwata Leon & Oowada Mondo, Hifumi Yamada & Yasuhiro Hagakure, Kuwata Leon & Naegi Makoto, Naegi Makoto & Togami Byakuya
Comments: 22
Kudos: 72





	1. Attendance, Small Talk, and Food Poisoning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fanfiction! Please enjoy . . . whatever this is supposed to be!
> 
> (Please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors! I am a horrendous proofreader!)

⚣

Hope’s Peak Academy: The Ultimate school for Ultimate students. Class 78th, the most recently added class, is a little more than halfway done with their first year at the prestigious school. Though the road to friendship for them was difficult (when you have a biker gang leader and a kid who prides himself on following rules, squabbles are inevitable) the class seems to have finally filled in the potholes. Or, at least, partially filled in the potholes. 

“Okay, kids,” the home room teacher, Mr. Hirabayashi, started, “all we have to do for today is take attendance. Since today is early release day, you guys can talk amongst yourselves, as long as you promise not to get too rowdy.” He sent a glare that traveled throughout the room, focusing hardest on Mondo Oowada (the delinquent Ultimate Biker Gang Leader), Leon Kuwata (the prankster Ultimate Baseball Star), and Yasuhiro Hagakure (the ever-sleazy Ultimate Clairvoyant). 

Mondo kicked his feet up onto his desk and grinned. “Ain’t gotta worry ‘bout us, teach! We’re not gonna vandalize shit or nothing!” He turned back and fist-bumped Leon. 

Mr. Hirabayashi sighed. “That does nothing to assure me, allow me to tell you that.” He tugged his suit’s sleeve down and glanced at his watch. “Anyway, Makoto Naegi?”

“Here!” answered a boy with messy brown hair. He looked up with a small smile, and turned towards a pretty girl with blue hair. 

“Sayaka Maizono?” 

“Heya!” Sayaka replied in a sing-songy voice. She then went back to conversing with Makoto, giggling as he continued to speak to her. 

“Kyoko Kirigiri?”

Kyoko glanced at the teacher, averting her attention from her book. “ . . . present.” As soon as the words left her lips, she lilac eyes went back to scanning the contents of the book. 

“Hifumi Yamada?”

A rotund boy with a blue and orange tie shot his hand into the air while drawing. “Right here, Mr. Hirabayashi!”

“Celestia Ludenberg?”

“Good morning, sir,” a girl’s voice replied, laden with a French accent. After telling him she was present, she twirled a lock of her jet-black hair and fixed her blazer. 

“Kiyotaka Ishimaru?”

“HELLO, MR. HIRABAYASHI! KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU IS PRESENT!” a boy with thick eyebrows and a pristine hall monitor uniform bellowed, all while saluting his teacher. Students around him winced. Mr. Hirabayashi blinked and opened his mouth to reply, but Mondo beat him in that regard. 

“Jesus, bro, calm down. I get you’re passionate about this stuff but it’s 8:20 in the fuckin’ mornin’.”

Taka sheepishly looked around. “My apologies, bro!” The loud boy then folded his hands and smiled at Mr. Hirabayashi. “Please ignore my outburst and continue with your attendance!”

“I really don’t get paid enough for this . . .” the teacher muttered, blinking sleepily. “Uh, Mondo Oowada?”

Mondo scowled and patted his light brown pompadour. “Oi, why’re you goin’ through the trouble of askin’ me? I spoke twice today!”

“Standard procedure,” Mr. Hirabayashi stated. The teacher glared at Mondo. Sighing, the delinquent kicked his feet off of the desk. The biker muttered a quick “here” and popped the collar of his jacket.

“Chihiro Fujisaki?”

“I-I’m here, Mr. Hirabayashi,” piped up a tiny voice to the right of Mondo. The small boy gave the teacher a polite grin and twiddled his thumbs. “Good morning!” The kid proceeded to scrub at his eyes and yawn, running his thin hand through his layered caramel-colored hair. 

“Tired?”

The boy flushed and nodded. His teacher gave him a small smile. 

“Me too, kiddo. Let’s see here, Leon Kuwata?”

Leon shot the teacher a smirk and tugged at his red facial hair. “Ay, I’m right here, man!” He then tossed a green apple at the man. Mr. Hirabayashi fumbled with the fruit a bit, but succeeded in not dropping it. “Keep the change!”

“Thank you, Leon. That has got to be the oddest way of giving somebody a gift, but thank you. Okay, Yasuhiro Hagakure?”

“Guilty as charged!” a guy lazily called out, flicking on a black coat . . . over his first black coat. “Well, I haven’t been charged with anything yet, and you guys better keep it that way! Don’t go snitching! I can’t afford to go to jail, okay!?”

“Whatever, Hiro,” a girl wearing a bunny clip and bow in her strawberry blonde hair said, eyes rolling.

“Ah, Junko Enoshima?”

The same girl scrunched her eyes shut in a wide smile and held up peace signs. “Junko Enoshima is accounted for~!”

“Mukuro Ikusaba?” 

The girl behind Junko raised her hand. “Greetings,” she said, steely eyes darting around the room. Besides the freckles playing on her nose and her short, dark hair, she was practically the spitting image of Junko. That certainly made sense, seeing that the two are twins. 

“Aoi Asahina?”

“‘Sup?!” Aoi (Hina to her friends) shrieked, positively bubbly with energy. Her brown ponytail swirled upwards as she did this, and she immediately clamped her hand over her mouth. “Ah, sorry! I mean, uh, ‘sup?”

“Loving the energy, Hina,” Mr. Hirabayashi deadpanned, though a smile played at his lips. “Sakura Oogami?”

Sakura, who had been placing a few doughnuts on Hina’s desk, looked her teacher dead in his eyes. “Hello, Mr. Hirabayashi,” she calmly said, reaching out her muscular arm to pick up the cherry blossom flower crown Hina had made for her. Her scarred face lit up. “And thank you, Hina.”

“You’re welcome, Sakura! I’ll help you place it in your hair after attendance!”

“Okay, is Toko Fukawa here?”

“D-Did you think I w-wouldn’t be?” a girl with circular glasses asked, accusatory. “I b-bet you w-wouldn’t even c-care if I w-weren’t here,” she moped, biting her thumb and staring daggers at everybody. 

“Aw, Toko, don’t say that!” Chihiro said, turning to her. “We’d all miss you if you were absent!”

Sayaka, who finally finished her conversation, nodded firmly. “Remember what we talked about, Toko?” The other girls all shot Toko a thumbs up. 

Toko gave everybody a shaky, yet still apprehensive, smile. “Y-Yeah, I do.”

“Byakuya Togami?”

A tall boy wearing a business suit scoffed. “Saving the best for last? Not that a blame you, of course, Mr. Hirabayashi. These people are clowns.” Everybody turned to him, some with annoyance, others with exasperation, and Toko looked at Byakuya with utter admiration. 

“Boo!” Hiro cried, cupping his hands to his mouth. 

Mr. Hirabayashi groaned. “You guys take way too long to get through attendance. God, just say “present,” okay? You’re wasting everybody’s time.” He slumped into a desk chair and started to down the coffee-filled thermos on his desk. His usually gelled back black hair began to fall over his eyes, which had purple bags on the underside. 

“Um,” Makoto began, “ are you okay?”

“Tired,” his teacher replied, laying his head in his arms. “ Go on and talk, just keep the volume down.”

With that, the kids began to walk around the room. Makoto finished his conversation with Sayaka and Kyoko, who had joined in, and went to talk to Byakuya. He caught sight of Toko making her way to Byakuya’s desk, her long skirt swishing with each step. He decided to wait a little longer for her to speak with Byakuya first, as he didn’t want to intrude. 

Toko stopped in front of Byakuya’s desk, a heavy blush on her face. She cocked her head and stepped to the side, preparing to speak. 

“H-Hello, Mr. Togami,” said Toko, who was fiddling with her braid. “Would you l-like to t-talk?”

Byakuya looked at her, his glasses glinting from the golden sunlight pouring in from the window. “No, I really wouldn’t like to. Go converse with Sayaka or some other plebeian and leave me alone for the time being.”

Toko looked crestfallen, but his blunt rejection made her blush deepen. “O-of course. I’ll s-see you o-over the break, r-right?”

Byakuya sighed. “Stop talking to me. I _thought_ I told you that the other boys and I would be spending the entire break together a few days ago. Are you too busy wallowing in your own filth to listen to what I have to tell you?”

“I, u-um . . . s-sorry! I f-forgot! Enjoy y-your sleepover!” With that, Toko briskly walked away. Byakuya stared after her. As Makoto ambled up to the heir’s seat at last, he could have sworn that he saw an odd expression on his classmate’s face. Was it annoyance? No, it somehow looked like . . . regret. Shrugging it off, Makoto finally began to speak. 

“Hey, Byakie!” Makoto exclaimed, laughing at the way his friend(?)’s face soured at the nickname. “You wanna go with the other boys at the table? Taka asked me to grab you so we can talk about the sleepover!”

Byakuya stiffly nodded, muttering something about “rubes with no boundaries.” Rising from his seat, Byakuya dusted off his pants and walked over to the table, Makoto trying to follow behind. 

Byakuya was sitting at the paint-splattered table (that they got from the art room to put in Mr. Hirabayashi’s room a few months ago) by the time Makoto caught up. “I think you forget how long your legs are sometimes.” Makoto grumbled, flicking up the hood of his jacket and sitting next to Byakuya. All of the other boys were already at the table, so it was the only available seat. 

The Manly Seating Arrangement

Makoto Naegi (Ultimate Lucky Student)

| 

Byakuya Togami (Ultimate Affluent Progeny)

| 

Hifumi Yamada (Ultimate Fanfic Creator)

| 

Yasuhiro Hagakure (Ultimate Clairvoyant)  
  
---|---|---|---  
  
Leon Kuwata (Ultimate Baseball Star)

| 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru (Ultimate Moral Compass)

| 

Chihiro Fujisaki (Ultimate Programmer)

| 

Mondo Oowada (Ultimate Biker Gang Leader)  
  
“Are we all accounted for?” Taka asked, a fire in his eyes. 

“All of the seats are taken up, so, yes,” Chihiro said, glancing up from his phone. Without warning, Chihiro let out a tiny gasp and sat straighter in his seat, his hair bouncing with the sudden movement. “U-um, sorry for the interruption, Taka, but I wanted to remind you and Leon to grab the stuff so Mondo and I can bake tomorrow morning!”

Mondo nodded, grunting as he did so. “We should’ve been given most of it last weekend, but we only have ‘bout a third of the shit we need. Can you get on that, bro? We need it by 6:30 tomorrow morning for the absolute latest, though we’ll be ready to bake by 6.”

Taka furrowed his brows. “May I see the list that you and Makoto made, Byakuya?”

Byakuya snorted. “Stop ordering me around, Ishimaru. I’ll have you know that I gave it to Naegi.” He looked to his left. “What are you waiting for, Naegi? We don’t have all day!” 

Makoto scratched his cheek. “Um, it’s in my backpack. Gimme a moment, please!” He stood and ambled away, stopping to speak with Hina and Sakura, the latter most wearing the flower crown in her white hair. 

Taka watched him go before pointing to the others at the table. “Right then,” he said, “while Makoto goes off to acquire the shopping list, I’d like to move on! Hifumi, Hiro!” The boys in question jumped slightly after being addressed. They were, quite clearly, not paying attention. “You two were the main planners for places we go out to! What ideas do you have?”

Hifumi, who was still trying to lower his heart rate from being startled, chuckled. “Yeah, please let me get the list out, Mr. Ishimaru!” Hifumi reached into his blazer’s pocket and pulled out a slightly wrinkled sheet of loose-leaf paper. Letting out a victorious huff and adjusting his glasses, he prepared to read. 

**_“Anime convention!”_ **He read. His voice was deep enough to echo and the nasally pitch had disappeared. 

The faces of everybody ranged from anger to confusion. Leon groaned. 

“Really, tubs? _Anime convention?_ ” He asked, irritated. 

Hifumi gasped. He looked scandalized, as though somebody had slapped him in the face, stole all of his left loafers, and threw Wonderbread in his mother’s face. “Are you implying that anime conventions aren’t good enough for you, Mr. Kuwata?! Heresy! Treason! Burn the witch!” Hiro slapped a hand over Hifumi's mouth and sighed. Hifumi tugged Hiro’s hand off and continued to scream. 

Chihiro hushed Hifumi, looking to his teacher’s desk and pleased to see that the man was still sleeping. “Hifumi, keep it down, please!” Hifumi still looked hurt, but refrained from saying anything else. Smiling at Hifumi, he leaned forward and craned his neck to make eye contact with Leon. “And Leon, stop antagonizing Hifumi. I . . . don’t think most of us would like to attend an anime convention, but it’s not the worst idea.”

Mondo nodded. “Yeah, ‘m gonna have to agree with Chi. I sure as hell don’t wanna go to a fuckin’ anime con, but let’s not freak out over it, okay, Lee?”

Chihiro smiled at Mondo. “Thank you!” Mondo replied by ruffling his short friend’s hair. Leon sighed and rubbed his temple. He was clearly outnumbered, and he realized that he shouldn’t have interrupted Hifumi before he could finish relaying the list to everybody else. 

“I’m sorry, Hifumi. Just read the rest of your list, okay?”

Hifumi blinked. 

The other boys squint their eyes at him. 

Hifumi blinked once more. 

Byakuya groaned. “Yamada . . . _please_ tell me that there is more to your list than _anime convention_.”

Hifumi had the decency to look sheepish. Shrinking away from his friend’s incredulous stares, Hifumi put the list away. 

“Seriously?! That was it?!” Leon shrieked. 

Taka frowned. “Hifumi, you literally had _one_ job. Did Hiro help you at all?” Hifumi’s planning partner laughed out loud, rubbing the back of his neck. Taka turned red with anger. “I’ll take that as a no.”

Makoto strolled back to the table. “Sorry for taking so long, I had trouble finding the . . . list. Hey, what’s going on?”

Celeste giggled and turned toward the boy’s table from her desk. “Makoto, do you remember Hifumi and Hiro’s list? Well, it turns out that Hifumi’s only suggestion for places to go to was ‘anime convention.’ Hiro, of course, didn’t help out, because he’s only good for scamming people.” Laughing still, she went back to her tea party with Toko. “Anyway, Toko, would you like a sugar cube?”

Makoto couldn’t believe his ears. “Jeez . . .” he said, handing Taka the shopping list. 

Chihiro screwed up his lips in thought, placing his index finger on his chin. “Hiro, was there a reason you didn’t help? Is everything alright?” 

Now it was Hiro’s turn to frown. “Hey, don’t act like I didn’t help! I made sure his handwriting was legible!” 

“That was a joke, right?” Leon asked. Hiro’s blank stare confirmed the fact that, no, Yasuhiro Hagakure was not joking. 

“Okay, I’m sorry, but what?” Chihiro said. “Really? ‘I made sure his handwriting was legible’? That’s your excuse?” Chihiro looked as angry as he could, which just looked like a very upset Chihuahua. “I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you had a week to do it.”

Hifumi began to laugh victoriously. “Don’t act like you're getting off scot-free, Hifumi!” Chihiro continued. “Even though Hiro didn’t help you, you are more than capable of writing something besides _anime convention_!” He hesitated, then winced at his tone. He hung his head and blinked back tears. “I-I’m sorry if I sound harsh, but we were counting on you two . . .”

Mondo patted Chihiro’s head and glared at Hifumi and Hiro. “Man, and we came to your defenses! You guys—”

“Stop!” Makoto said. “Hifumi and Hiro messed up, but we can just throw around ideas in the group chat this afternoon! No biggie!”

The others reluctantly agreed. Taka opened the envelope Makoto gave him, where a good deal of money awaited him. “Thank you all for helping with the baking fund, and special thanks to Chihiro for donating twice his share!” Chihiro blushed, flattered. “Anyway, Leon and I will go shopping once school lets out for the day. So, before we end the meeting, please remember that we’re supposed to be at Byakuya’s house by 3:00 P.M. Pack your duffle bag with everything you need and bring a blanket and a pillow or two.” Taka raised an eyebrow. “No questions? Good! Meeting adjourned!”

Yasuhiro walked away, saying he had to go tell Junko’s fortune for her. Hifumi also left after profusely apologizing. His apologies were waved off by his friends. 

“While undeniably irritating,” Byakuya said, “I’m glad you owned up to your moronic mistake.”

“What Byakie _meant_ to say is ‘it’s really no issue’!” Makoto quickly jumped in. 

“I said what I said, Naegi.”

⚣

“Okay, Leon, truth or dare?” Makoto asked. At this point, he, Byakuya, Mondo, Chihiro, Leon, and Taka were still at the table. They began to play _Truth or Dare_ , though Taka and Byakuya were merely spectating. A few girls looked on with moderate interest, thought they were still mostly keeping to their own conversations. 

Leon grinned and leaned forward, propping his chin up with his hand. “What do I look like to you? A girl? Hit me with a dare, man! Be creative!”

Makoto hummed in consideration. His eyes suddenly lit up as an idea came to him. Makoto grabbed his water bottle, cracked it open, and drank most of the contents, careful not to have his lips come into contact with the rim of the bottle. He slammed the bottle down and began to rummage through his lunch. 

“I’d like to ask you all, except for Leon, to show me what you have in your lunch boxes.” Shrugging, the others complied. 

Makoto had sashimi with soy sauce. He had a bottle of milk and a bag of chips as well. He could see that Chihiro had fish and a bunch of veggies. Mondo had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some mochi. 

“Chi, I’ll need some of your broccoli and red bean paste.” Chihiro slid his lunch over and allowed Makoto to place the food on the lid of his bento. “Mondo, can you rip off a hunk of your sandwich?” Mondo shot Makoto a skeptical look but complied. 

“Hifumi, would you happen to have soda?” Hifumi walked over and held the soda in question. “Junko, didn’t you mention having Hot Cheetos?” 

“Makoto, don’t you **dare** touch my frigging Cheetos!” Makoto gave her a begging look. “Ugh, fiiiiine,” she moaned, handing him the bag. 

Leon cackled. “What’s the deal, Makoto? Why’re you stealing everybody’s lunch?” Makoto only smiled mischievously. 

Makoto took the bottle with its little bit of water. He ripped off the soda’s cap, smiling at the way it hissed. Makoto poured in about two tablespoons of Coke, a tablespoon of milk, and as much soy sauce as he could bear with losing. He shoved the sandwich into the bottle’s opening, and it was at this point that Chihiro cut in. 

“U-um . . . you aren’t going to make him _drink_ that, right?” 

Makoto shook his head, and Chihiro sighed with relief. “I can’t make him drink this without the other ingredients, Chihiro!” Chihiro paled. 

“Ooh, good fuckin’ luck, Lee! You’re gonna need it!” Mondo hooted, thoroughly entertained. The smirk slowly but surely dropped from Leon’s visage as he stared at Makoto’s concoction. Makoto grinded his chips, Junko’s Hot Cheetos, and Chihiro’s broccoli. He dropped those into the bottle, and looked at the bean paste. Makoto poured milk on it to make it more liquidy as he stirred it. Finally, he put the red bean into the bottle and slid the bottle over to Mondo, who was red in the face trying not to laugh. 

“Will you do the honors and shake the bottle, Mondo?” Makoto politely asked. 

Mondo looked touched. “I thought you’d never ask!” Mondo took the bottle of . . . whatever it was supposed to be and shook it with vigor. After 5 minutes of shaking, the “drink” was ready for consumption. 

“Hold it, Naegi!” Byakuya interjected. He sent Makoto a disapproving look. “You’re really going to make him drink that? It’s not even completely full!”

Chihiro gasped. “You too, Bya-Bya?”

Makoto was not expecting Byakuya to say that. Makoto gaped as Byakuya pulled out his own lunch and handed Makoto some seaweed. “Quickly chop that into tiny pieces and give it to Kuwata. Asahina, do you have any orange juice?” Hina walked over and grimaced before setting her juice down. She mouthed ‘good luck’ to Leon before going back to her conversation. 

Makoto added the seaweed and orange juice, and the “drink” was ready, this time for real. “Okay, Leon,” Makoto said, “I dare you to swallow everything in this bottle!” Makoto graciously set the bottle down. Leon cringed looking at it. 

“Taka, tell him I can’t drink this shit!” He begged. 

Taka looked conflicted. “There is not any rule against this, and you did tell him to be creative. At the same time, it is immoral to make somebody do this! I think that since this is just a dare, I cannot do anything.” Even though he said this, he still stood up. “I cannot watch this though! I’ll take you to the nurse if you need assistance later, Leon!” Taka walked away, leaving Leon without any help. 

“C’mon, Leon, don’t be a little pussy! Drink it!” Mondo goaded. 

“I feel a bit bad, but . . . I can’t exactly take it back now, Leon.” Makoto gave Leon a small smile. “Sorry!”

Chihiro sighed. “You might just want to get it over and done with at this point. Let’s just hope you don’t get food poisoning.”

Resigned to his fate, Leon opened the bottle. The disgusting smells wafted to his nose, and he gagged. He slowly placed it to his lips and began to drink. Mondo laughed hysterically. 

“No-hO-hO-hO! Chiiiii! Are ya seeing this shit!? This is so bad! I can’t!” the biker cackled. He shook his smaller friend and laughed even harder. Mondo fell out of his chair and began to cough. 

Leon was halfway done. Tears were streaming down his face, and he was green in complexion. The entire class was watching. 

“I don’t even know what to say at this point,” Mukuro said.   
  


Kyoko shook her head, disgust evident on her face.

Chihiro tapped Leon on the shoulder. “Leon, are you okay?” Leon didn’t answer and instead drank all of the liquid. However, there were chunks of soggy food and the bottom. 

“I don’t have to eat this, right, Makoto?” Leon nervously asked. 

Mondo sat up from his position on the floor, his pompadour a bit frizzy. “I think you hafta, Lee! He said ‘swallow everything in the bottle’!” Leon turned greener. Makoto snatched the bottle and threw it away, shocking everyone. 

“I think that’s enough. Sorry, Leon!” 

Leon held his stomach. Chihiro and Taka offered to take him to the nurse, but Leon held them off. “No, wait; It’s _my_ turn now.” He turned to Taka. “It’s against the rules to ask the person who asked you last, right?” A nod from Taka confirmed this for him. “Okay then. _Mondo,_ truth or dare?”

Mondo scowled. “Dare.”

“I dare you to punch Toko in the face three times!” Toko cowered in terror and tried to hide her face and the other girls formed a wall around her. 

Mondo sighed. “Calm down, chick, I ain’t gonna punch you or nothin’. I don’t hit girls.” 

Leon grinned evilly. “Well, a dare is a da—” It was at this point that Leon stopped talking, as he threw up all over the table. 

“OMIGOD ARE YOU OKAY!?” Hina shrieked. 

Mr. Hirabayashi was finally jolted awake. He walked over to the table, watching as Hina and Sakura hurried to clean it. He continued to look around, seeing Chihiro, Taka, Mondo, and Makoto help Leon out of the room. Celeste drank more tea and Toko tried to calm herself down. Everybody else in the room stared at their teacher, waiting to hear what he had to say.

Suddenly, the bell rang. It was 12:30 in the afternoon, and school was over for the day. Mr. Hirabayashi looked at all of his students. 

“Please, all of you, just leave.“


	2. (1/6) Consult the Group Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the boys try and come up with places to go. Sadly, they always seem to get side-tracked.
> 
> (AKA — I try and probably fail to make a decent chatfic chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, I’m not dead! Sorry this took so long to upload, life just rushes by, ya know? So, chapter two will be in 6 parts and this is the first part. By the way, this fic will probably be very long because I have no self control, so please be aware of that! 
> 
> Anyway, without further ado, please enjoy Chapter 2 Part 1 of Boys’ Nights Out!

⚣

Group Chat Name: Me and the Boys at 3 A.M.

  
  


Usernames:

Makoto Naegi: **Maneki-Naegi**

Byakuya Togami: **Bya-Bya**

Leon Kuwata: **Lion Hakuna Matata**

Mondo Oowada: **Tricycle**

Chihiro Fujisaki (Admin): **Java off-script**

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: **Corridor Observer**

Hifumi Yamada: **2D 4 Me**

Yasuhiro Hagakure: **Sike**

⚣

  
  


Chapter 2 Part 1 - _Consult the Group Chat_

  
  


After spending a bit of time in the nurse’s office, where an overly apologetic upperclassman with choppy hair treated his upset stomach, Leon made plans to go shopping with Taka at 3:15. Seeing that it was 2:20 currently, the baseball all-star decided to kill some time checking up with the group chat before meeting with his friend in the lobby. 

Leon flopped onto his bed, still feeling gross from the game of _Truth or Dare_ earlier. He groped for his phone (an iPhone 3G with a bedazzled microphone on the case—no baseballs in sight) and pulled it toward him. He mulled over something for quite a while, then fished up Toko’s contact and quickly sent an apology for the dare he dished out to Mondo. He then went onto the group chat he has with the other boys and began to type. 

  
  


**Me and the Boys at 3 A.M.**

**Lion Hakuna Matata** has entered the chat

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** hey

**Java off-script** has entered the chat

**Java off-script:** Hi, Leon! Are you feeling better?

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** yea that mikan girl gave me some pepto-bismol and warm water

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** sorry for puking on you btw

**Java off-script:** Oh, it’s okay! Things happen! So, don’t worry about it!

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** glad to hear that

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** @ **everyone** join the chat rn we need to make actual plans

**Tricycle, Maneki-Naegi,** and **2D 4 Me** have entered the chat

**Tricycle:** Yeah fuck the anime convebtion

**Tricycle:** Some offense Hifumi 

**2D 4 Me:** (つ .•́ _ʖ •̀.)つ

**Tricycle:** If any of you shits give me grief about that spelling mistake I’ll kill your asses

**Java off-script:** I’m going to change the group chat name, if you don’t mind! 

**Maneki-Naegi:** To what

**Java off-script** changed the group chat name to **Anime Convention**

**2D 4 Me:** （ｉДｉ）

**Java off-script:** Wait, no. 

**Tricycle:** I like the name tho wdym no

**Java off-script** changed the group chat name to **Anime Convebtion**

**Tricycle:** You’re fake Chi lmao

**Java off-script:** Tee hee, sorry! I’ll change it back!

**Tricycle:** Nah it's sorta funny

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** yeah pls dont Im having fun picturing mondos face rn

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** hes prolly like >:^[

**Tricycle:** My nose isn’t that pointy you bastard

**Maneki-Naegi:** Thank you for this, Chihiro Im dying

**Bya-Bya** has entered the chat

**Bya-Bya:** I really wish that I could change these chat names. This is just sad. 

**Bya-Bya:** Actually . . .

**Bya-Bya:** Fujisaki, give me admin right now. I’ve been asking since the inception of this God forsaken group chat and I’ll get my way. 

**Java off-script:** Sorry, but no. You hold no power online. 

**Java off-script:** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

**2D 4 Me:** (~￣▽￣)~ 

**Tricycle:** Oof 

**Bya-Bya:** Admin. 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** suck it bya bya

**Bya-Bya:** Admin. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Dont be rude Leon

**Bya-Bya:** Admin. 

**Corridor Observer** has entered the chat

**Corridor Observer:** May We Discuss The Plans?

**Bya-Bya:** Admin. 

**2D 4 Me:** Mr. Hagakure isn’t here yet, though! 

**Bya-Bya:** Admin. 

**2D 4 Me:** It’d be unjust to exclude him!

**Bya-Bya:** Admin. 

**Java off-script:** @ **Sike** hurry on over, please. 

**Bya-Bya:** Admin.

**Corridor Observer:** I Hope Hiro Gets Here Soon!

**Bya-Bya:** Admin. Now. 

**Java off-script:** I’ll give admin, okay? 

**Bya-Bya:** Okay. 

**Tricycle:** Chi don't do it he's crazy

**Java off-script** has added **Tricycle** as an admin

**Tricycle:** hAh

**Bya-Bya:** No. 

**Sike** has entered the chat 

**Sike:** heu

**Corridor Observer:** Hello, Hiro! Let The Official Group Chat Planning Meeting Commence!

**Sike:** ok kewl

**Maneki-Naegi:** I have an idea

**Corridor Observer:** Splendid! What Is Your Idea?

**Maneki-Naegi:** What if we go roller skating

**Bya-Bya:** Sure. 

**Corridor Observer:** Lovely Idea!

**2D 4 Me:** That sounds intriguing! This’ll be like _Air Gear_!

**2D 4 Me:** [ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Gear ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Gear) link for the poor, poor uninitiated. 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** who wants to bet that this air gear thingy is only mildly similar to going out w/ your friends and roller skating 

**Tricycle:** I read some of the article you aren't exactly Worcester 

**Tricycle:** Though I don’t think there’s gonna be rival roller skate gangs from the future when we go 

**Corridor Observer:** Pardon Me, Bro?

**Tricycle:** Huh?

**Corridor Observer:** “Worcester.” Is That What You Meant To Say?

**Tricycle:** Bruh autocorrect can suck my dick I meant to put wrong 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** what dick

**Tricycle:** You must think you’re really fucking funny

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** I do actually

**Maneki-Naegi:** How did it get Worcester from wrong

**Tricycle:** Are you the fucking autocorrect police Makoto 

**Tricycle:** To answer your question I accidentally typed worc 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** literally how 

**Bya-Bya:** So, it’s your own fault, you baboon. Don’t blame autocorrect because you can’t spell. 

**Tricycle:** Don’t piss me off bitch I have admin

**Bya-Bya:** I’m quaking in my boots. 

**Bya-Bya:** Just kidding, that threat was about as scary as Naegi and Fujisaki when they get mad. 

**2D 4 Me:** They rarely get angry, though! Mr. Fujisaki’s outburst at me and Hiro earlier was the first time I saw him mad, and he immediately dialed it back!

**Sike:** even when i stole makoko puffs wallet he didnt mhnd that much im still srry abt that koto

**Maneki-Naegi:** It’s fine!

**Sike:** see

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** since when do you call him makoko puffs

**Sike:** since now i think its cute

**2D 4 Me:** It is pretty cute!

**Sike:** brb imma change his contact name

**Bya-Bya:** Yes, that’s exactly my point. They don’t get mad. How slow are you, Hagakure and Yamada?

**Tricycle:** It ain’t a threat it’s a promise you fucktard

**Bya-Bya:** Ah, yes, the cheesy one-liner you most likely stole from some action movie will surely get me scared. Nice move. 

**Java off-script:** Please stop, guys.

**Corridor Observer:** I Would Like To Agree With Chihiro! This Is Extremely Unnecessary And Has Absolutely Nothing To Do With Planning!

**Java off-script:** Oooooh!

**Maneki-Naegi:** Whats up Chihiro

**Java off-script:** Let’s go fishing or something!

**Maneki-Naegi:** Great idea, I like it :D

**Corridor Observer:** Ah, Yes, Fishing! A Traditional Manly Activity!

**Tricycle:** Hell yeah bro

**Sike:** grr testosterone 

**2D 4 Me:** You can spell “testosterone” yet couldn’t write “adaptation” for the essay on that article in class?

**Sike:** fluke and adaption is hard 2 spell 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Did you misspell again? Hifumi literally wrote the word right there

**2D 4 Me:** It was an _article_ . The word was in the _article._ All you had to do was look at the article while citing evidence, Mr. Hagakure!

**Sike:** u think ur so smart 

**Sike:** i didnt reed the article dude

**Corridor Observer:** That Is Unacceptable! I Care About You And Your Education, So Reading This Is Like A Rusty Knife Being Shoved Into My Right Kidney!

**Java off-script:** What? Does?? That??? Mean????

**Tricycle:** Seconded what the fuck did I just read bro

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** that went from zero to murder real fast

**Bya-Bya:** It certainly escalated quickly.

**Maneki-Naegi:** Calm down Taka! Hiro has been hitting the books a little more often lately I heard

**Corridor Observer:** Truly?

**Sike:** yea sorta I study with fumi sometimes not ofen

**Corridor Observer:** Good! The Knife Missed My Vital Organs, So I Will Now Be Fine!

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** this sounds like role play but shitty

**2D 4 Me:** Honestly, I understand completely, Mr. Ishimaru! It’s how I feel when somebody refuses to watch _Demon Angel✩Pretty Pudgy Princess_ after I recommend it!

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** overdramatic gang gang unite what a match made in hell

**Bya-Bya:** Hold on, though. It’s no wonder you scored a seven, Hagakure. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Wasn’t it out of 10? A 7 is actually pretty good seeing that he didn’t even do the assignment properly

**Corridor Observer:** No, You Must Have Forgotten, Makoto! Of Course, I Do Not Blame You, Since It Was Quite A While Ago! You See, It Was Actually Out Of One Hundred, So Hiro’s Score Wasn’t 70%, It Was 7%! 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** guys we can talk about hiro being about as smart as a leek later can we get back on topic

**Sike:** ouchie

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** Im mostly joking hiro

**Sike:** eh ok

**Maneki-Naegi:** Sure lets get back to planning

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** so we have skating and fishing

**Bya-Bya:** How about roller skating _and_ ice skating? Probably not on the same day, but it’ll be fun, right?

**Corridor Observer:** Ah, Sounds Wonderful, Byakuya!

**Tricycle:** What do ya know about fun Mr Stuffy

**Tricycle:** I won’t lie though it does sound real fucking fun

**Bya-Bya:** I have fun all the time because, unlike you, I can afford it. 

**Sike:** arent u a busyness man. i doubt u have room for much of anything besides work

**Bya-Bya:** Paperwork is fun. 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** about as fun as standing in a line at the bank

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** oh oh oh arcade

**Sike:** like **🐀🧀**

**Tricycle:** What the fuck does Tom and Jerry have to do with anything

**Sike:** how did u get tom and jerry from a moise with cheese

**Maneki-Naegi:** No offense, but I dont think that’s what it is

**2D 4 Me:** I have my doubts about that, Mr. Oowada!

**Corridor Observer:** I Firmly Believe That You Are Incorrect, Bro!

**Java off-script:** Uh, no, I don’t think that’s it, Mondo. Sorry!

**Bya-Bya:** Obviously not. Do you see a cat anywhere, Oowada? Tom and Jerry without Tom is just Jerry. 

**Lion Hukuna Matata:** mondo I think its chuck e cheeses

**Tricycle:** I hate that y’all sent those texts at the same time

**Tricycle:** Anyway fuck me I guess

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** we’re getting off track guys

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** thoughts or concerns about the arcade

**2D 4 Me:** The arcade sounds fun, Mr. Kuwata!

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** no anime reference

**2D 4 Me:** None!

**Sike:** sruprising

**Tricycle:** Pool or water park 

**2D 4 Me:** I don't know. 

**2D 4 Me:** I'm a bit self conscious about my weight, to be honest. 

**2D 4 Me:** I was bullied pretty badly for it when I was younger. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Aw Hifumi! You have nothing to worry about!

**Java off-script:** Bullies really are the worst, huh? Good thing we aren’t like that!! 

**Bya-Bya:** Yes. Despite how annoying you people are, you are decent acquaintances . . . for the most part. Ergo, don’t feel bad about yourself and waste our time. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** :0 wow he’s being nice

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** he is?

**Maneki-Naegi:** You have to know what to look for

**Bya-Bya:** Shut up. 

**Tricycle:** Most of y’all are brain dead pieces of shit but youre _my_ brain dead pieces of shit and we’re all bros here 

**Tricycle:** Well a few of us sorta hate each other and same here but we’ll fix that I guess

**Corridor Observer:** That Was A Weird Way Of Saying “We Love You,” Mondo. 

**Java off-script:** It was effective, though!

**2D 4 Me:** Thank you all!

**2D 4 Me:** ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

**Maneki-Naegi:** <3 

**Java off-script:** <3

**Sike:** <3

**Corridor Observer:** Is <3 A Heart?

**Sike:** yea

**Corridor Observer:** Ah, I See!

**Corridor Observer:** <3

**Maneki-Naegi:** Maybe we can watch a movie at the cinema

**Bya-Bya:** No need, I have a theatre at home. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** No joke

**Bya-Bya:** Why would I joke about that?

**Maneki-Naegi:** I’ve just never seen it. Is it on the third floor?

**Bya-Bya:** Yes. 

**Tricycle:** This man jfc

**Tricycle:** No NeEd I hAvE a ThEaTeR aT hOmE like wtf is this shit

**Corridor Observer:** It Is A Very Odd Sentence, Bro! Super Weird Out Of Context!

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** his private theater is prolly bigger than my house

**Corridor Observer:** It Is Most Definitely Going To Be Bigger Than My Apartment!

**Tricycle:** Imagine if that’s true, broseph! Man’s house is totally bigger than mine at least

**Java off-script:** His house is probably bigger than all of ours’ combined. 

**Bya-Bya:** I won’t deny it. 

**Sike:** can i hace sum money bya bua

**Bya-Bya:** You’re in a good deal of debt with the _Yakuza._ Not to mention, you have an aneurysm every time you see that baby-faced boy in Class 77th. In short: I think not. 

**Sike:** ouchie

**Tricycle:** Laser tag

**Java off-script:** That sounds cool!

**Corridor Observer:** What A Marvelous Idea, Bro! I Am Glad To Have Such High-Quality Friends!

**Bya-Bya:** I have no issues with it. 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** same I think thatll be fun

**2D 4 Me:** I like that plan as well! (•̀ᴗ•́)و

**Sike:** pew pew yall lets wreck havoc

**Maneki-Naegi:** The day I meet somebody who hates laser tag is the day I lose faith in humanity

**Bya-Bya:** You’ll never lose faith in humanity. You are hopelessly hopeful. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Yeah fair enough

**Tricycle:** Taka, love ya, but putting “high quality” before friends makes us sound like fancy little knickknacks 

**Corridor Observer:** Ahahahaha! I Suppose It Does! You Know What I Mean Though, Right?

**Tricycle:** Ofc, that’s why I’m such a high quality friend

**Corridor Observer:** <3

**Tricycle:** <3

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** <3

**Java off-script:** <3

**Bya-Bya:** Very sweet moment, I now have Type 2 diabetes. 

**Sike:** dont u mean cancer

**2D 4 Me:** No, he means diabetes. What do you think cancer is?

**Sike:** when ur liver doesnt do the thing

**2D 4 Me:** No. 

**Bya-Bya:** By “do the thing,” you’re probably referring to insulin production. By the way, your pancreas does that, not your liver. Anyway, cancer is when a malignant cell multiplies and invades other parts of the bodies, making it possible for tumors to form. 

**Sike:** wut is maglinant

**Bya-Bya:** “Malignant” means bad or harmful. Naegi, use it in a sentence so he can get it. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Oh sure!

**Maneki-Naegi:** The little girl turned out to have a _malignant_ attitude, as she torments other children for kicks

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** I read that in the GPS directions voice

**Tricycle:** Siri sounding ass

**Sike:** oh i think i get it now the little girl is evil just like the cells

**Bya-Bya:** Yes, exactly. 

**Bya-Bya:** Anyway, let’s move on to diabetes. 

**Bya-Bya:** Diabetes is when your pancreas can’t “do the thing” properly and makes it impossible for glucose (sugar) to enter your cells. Or, it means that your cells resist the insulin. The outcome is still the same. Now, insulin is important because it allows for the glucose to go inside of the cells, right? If you don’t produce enough insulin or your cells resist it, your blood has high levels of glucose, which isn’t good. 

**Bya-Bya:** In short, cancer is not the same thing as diabetes. You’re mixing them up. 

**Sike:** ohh that makes sense dude tysm i was pretty confused

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** do you actually understand or are you just saying that

**Sike:** no i rlly get it now

**Corridor Observer:** Wow, Byakuya, You Are Quite Knowledgeable! I Respect That You Were Willing To Give A Concise, Yet Informative, Explanation Of Cancer And Diabetes To Hiro! I Am Also Glad That Hiro Understands It Now, As Well!

**Bya-Bya:** Of course. We can’t all be geniuses, so I took pity on him. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** How about we get a few more places to go on the list, huh?

**Lion Hakuna Matata** : oooh karaoke karaoke karaoke

**Tricycle:** Legend has it that if you walk into a bathroom lit only by candles n say karaoke 3 times into the mirror you'll have to do karaoke night with some demons in hell forever or some shit I dunno

**Sike:** dont even jOKE ABOUT THE SUPERNATRAL MINDI

**Corridor Observer:** *Supernatural. 

**Corridor Observer:** *Mondo. 

**Corridor Observer:** I Am Sorry, Hiro, But These Spelling Mistakes Are Atrocious, Offensive, And Plain Incorrect. I Cannot Ignore Them Anymore. Please Do Not Feel Offended!

**Sike:** thats fair i guess

**Maneki-Naegi:** Lol Mindi

**Bya-Bya:** Oowada, go have demon karaoke night. You’re not needed in the chat anymore. Well, you’re just not needed in general. 

**Bya-Bya:** Or should I refer to you as Mindi?

**Tricycle** changed **Bya-Bya** ’s name to **Bitchie Rich**

**Tricycle:** It took me a long fuckin time to come up with that one

**Bitchie Rich:** That’s pathetic. This name isn’t even good. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** It’s rude but I can totally appreciate it

**Tricycle:** Thanks Makoto you a real one

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** chi do me a solid and fix up mindis nickname

**Java off-script:** You got it, Leon!

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** aces lil bro

**Tricycle:** Don't you dare

**Java off-script** changed **Tricycle** ’s name to **Mindi**

**Maneki-Naegi:** He dared and done did it

**Java off-script:** Sorry, but I had to (✿◠‿◠)

**Mindi:** Y’all keep testing my patience

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** mindi rights!

**Corridor Observer:** Mindi Oowidi. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** MINDI OOWIDI

**Mindi:** Really bro?

**Corridor Observer:** I Had To, Bro! I Could Not Miss The Opportunity! 

**Java off-script:** Et tu, Taka?

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** liberty freedom tyranny is dead

**Bitchie Rich:** So, Oowada is Caesar? Makes sense that he of all people would anger a bunch of senators and get killed. 

**Sike:** stop making shake speer references we arent in school

**2D 4 Me:** “Shake Speer” is a new low.

**Bitchie Rich:** At least “Shakespeare” wasn’t written prior to this. “Adaption” and getting a seven on the essay was the lowest of the low. 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** shake speer is still pretty bad tho

**Bya-Bya:** Oh, definitely. 

**Sike:** yall dont appreciate me and it shows 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Wait! I have an idea for a gc name

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** whats up makoto

**Maneki-Naegi:** How about Final Preparations or something

**Mindi:** I read that as Final Destination and now I wanna watch another horror movie

**Java off-script:** How about we watch _Final Destination_ before heading over to Bya-Bya’s house tomorrow?

**Java off-script:** No promises I won’t freak out, though!

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** can taco and I tag along broskis

**Mindi:** Duh, all four of us gotta be there you dumbass

**Corridor Observer:** I’m Excited! However, Let’s Move Back To Makoto’s Chat Name Suggestion!

**Bitchie Rich:** Thank the Lord. Anyway, it’s not the best by a long-shot, but it’s better than the current one, at least. 

**2D 4 Me:** Mr. Naegi’s suggestion _does_ better reflect what we’re going to be up to today. 

**Sike:** agreed

**Corridor Observer:** I Agree! I Like This New Idea! Perhaps We Can Call The Chat _Final Preparations Underway_ , Just So It Flows Better!

**Java off-script:** Well, I’m sad to say goodbye to the Anime Convebtion so soon, but I like the sound of that!

**Java off-script** changed the group chat name to **Final Preparations Underway!**

**Maneki-Naegi:** Yay!

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** thus the new age was born

**Mindi:** New age

**Java off-script:** New age!

**Maneki-Naegi:** New age!

**2D 4 Me:** **_NEW AGE!!_ **

**Bitchie Rich:** New age. 

**Sike:** new aheeee

**Corridor Observer:** *Ageeee. 

**Corridor Observer:** Spelling Mistakes And Off-Topic Statements Aside, This Meeting Was Much More Effective Than The Last! Good Job And Thank You All For Your Help!

**Sike:** ur welcome yall glad to help

**Mindi:** Bruh shut your clown ass up you didn’t do shit

**Mindi:** Wait hold up

**Mindi** changed **Sike** ’s name to **That one kid in the group project**

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** a c c u r a t e

**That one kid in the group project:** question mark

**Mindi:** It had to be done you were asking for it

**Maneki-Naegi:** I agree with that!

**That one kid in the group project:** chi pls change my name back

**Java off-script:** No, sorry, I won’t do that. Mondo’s the one who changed it. 

**Java off-script:** Do you know what this one means?

**That one kid in the group project:** no not at all :((

**Bitchie Rich:** That sounds like a “you” problem, so shut up. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Say that but use nicer words

**Bitchie Rich:** The meaning of your nickname isn’t a pressing matter and nobody wants to explain it to you, so _please_ shut up. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Close enough

**Corridor Observer:** Okay, Leon, Let Us Get Ready To Go To The Store!

**Mindi:** Which store

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** eon

**Maneki-Naegi:** I love their baguettes

**Java off-script:** ^

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** are they that good? I’ve never really been to eon

**Corridor Observer:** Neither Have I!

**Java off-script:** The baguettes are like a hug in the form of bread. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** I tried to marry one when I was 7

**Maneki-Naegi:** There was a whole wedding ceremony and everything

**Corridor Observer:** That Sounds Utterly Adorable!

**Mindi:** Pics or it didn’t happen 

**Java off-script:** I would love to see that!

**Maneki-Naegi:** I’ll show you the pics later! Komaru was the minister 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** awwww

**Bya-Bya:** Even as a child, your love life is pathetic. 

**Sike:** thats couple goals bya bya ur just jelly

**Bya-Bya:** Why the hell would I be jealous over Naegi marrying a piece of bread?

**2D 4 Me:** That does sound cute. However, you are singing the praises of the baguettes and not talking about the potato chips! EON brand chips are magnificent!

**Mindi:** Nah those little shits are way too salty

**2D 4 Me:** H—

**Maneki-Naegi:** Agreed, I feel like all the water from my body gets sucked out of me when I eat a bag

**2D 4 Me:** HOW—

**That one kid in the group project:** like popeyes biscuits

**Tricycle:** I’d say that Popeyes biscuits are worse but them chips also be greasy as hell

**Tricycle:** The biscuits taste pretty good but you need a whole ass gallon of water to actually eat them lmao

**Corridor Observer:** Are EON Chips As Dry As You Told Me Popeyes Biscuits Are?

**Tricycle:** Nah Eon chips aren’t dry at all but they still gross as fuck

**2D 4 Me:** HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE CHIPS LIKE THAT!?

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** calm your tits hifumi theyre just chips

**2D 4 Me:** JUST _CHIPS!?_

**That one kid in the group project:** yep just chips so pls calm down bud

**That one kid in the group project:** just let them have their own opinions

**2D 4 Me:** **_SIGHS DEEPLY_ **

**2D 4 Me:** You’re right. Sorry, my “over dramatic gang gang” tendencies got the better of me. 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** lmao unite

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** oh shit taka whats the time

**Corridor Observer:** It Is 3:00. You Are Dressed, Correct?

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** yea ill see you in the lobby so we can catch a cab 

**Corridor Observer:** Great! Farewell, Friends!

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** ttyl

**Java off-script:** Bye! Have fun!

**That one kid in the group project:** l8r

**Tricycle:** See y’all!

**Bya-Bya:** Bye. 

**2D 4 Me:** Goodbye, friends!

**Maneki-Naegi:** Later!

**Corridor Observer** and **Lion Hakuna Matata** have left the chat

**That one kid in the group project:** hol up

**That one kid in the group project:** chichi wut dies my name mean

**2D 4 Me:** Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Mr. Hagakure. 

**That one kid in the group project:** Mindi wur does my name mean

**Mindi:** MY NAME IS MONDO FUCKING OOWADA 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Mindi Oowidi

**That one kid in the group chat:** sure it is mindi

**Mindi:** Go suck a huge one

**That one kid in the group project:** a huge wut

**Mindi:** Ah nothing

**Mindi:** Anyway Chi n I are gonna go try n make frosting so we’ll be off

**Bitchie Rich:** It’s a good thing you two aren’t putting it off. 

**Java off-script:** Yeah! Hopefully it goes alright!

**That one kid in the group project:** i predict that itll go well

**Java off-script:** That’s good!

**Bitchie Rich:** Keep in mind that Hagakure’s accuracy is only 30%. Chances are, you two will mess it up somehow. 

**Java off-script:** Oh. 

**That one kid in the group project:** ribit in mu face why dont ya

**2D 4 Me:** 🐸

**That one kid in the group project:** plus 30 accuracy is rly good in the grand sceme of fortune-telling 

**2D 4 Me:** That's true! Don’t underestimate Mr. Hagakure!

**That one kid in the group project:** howd you know 30 was above average fumi

**2D 4 Me:** My favorite character from an anime I saw once is clairvoyant! I read up all about it!

**That one kid in the group project:** that is super kewl!

**Maneki-Naegi:** Wait, Byakuya! What makes you say that?

**Mindi:** Yeah why’d you say that Bitchie

**Bitchie Rich:** _Those four_ are in charge of it, Naegi. The shopping trip will be an ordeal and the baking will go up in flames, trust me. 

**Mindi:** You saying we’re gonna burn the cookies or something you weasel 

**Bitchie Rich:** Well, it was a figure of speech, but since actual fire is involved, you’ll either burn the snacks or Fujisaki’s house. Possibly both. 

**2D 4 Me:** Mr. Togami, have faith! The chances of them doing something irresponsible is very high, but it is not absolute!

**That one kid in the group project:** in trying to defend them you made bay byas point more solid

**2D 4 Me:** Oh . . .

**2D 4 Me:** Apologies! (๑ּగ⌄ּగ๑)

**Maneki-Naegi:** Er, Ill be praying, guys!

**Mindi:** I’m getting mixed signals here

**Java off-script:** Same here. Not feeling too confident anymore. 

**Mindi:** Truth

**Mindi:** Anyway see ya later guys

**Java off-script:** Bye!

**Mindi** and **Java off-script** have left the chat

**Maneki-Naegi:** I gtg, too. Im meeting Byakie to prepare for the sleepover

**Bitchie Rich:** Oh, you _finally_ remembered. 

**That one kid in the group project:** dont u wanna talk a bit first

**Maneki-Naegi:** Yep of course :D

**Bitchie Rich:** No, we’re running short on time. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Oh right sorry

**Bitchie Rich:** Bye. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Goodbye!

**Maneki-Naegi** and **Bitchie Rich** have left the chat 

**2D 4 Me:** Goodbye, friends!

**That one kid in the group project:** there already gone

**2D 4 Me:** :,(

**2D 4 Me:** They really made haste to get out of here, huh? We had entire conversations for the other two groups before they left!

**That one kid in the group project:** i mean it byakie

**That one kid in the group project:** im not too surprisef

**2D 4 Me:** Good point, I suppose. 

**2D 4 Me:** Plus, they did have stuff to do, unlike us. Perhaps we should remedy that. 

**That one kid in the group project:** yo hifumi sry to change the subject like this but i finally read jjba

**That one kid in the group project:** i have sum thots

**2D 4 Me:** _GASP!_

**2D 4 Me:** I will call you to discuss this at once!

**2D 4 Me** and **That one kid in the group project** have left the chat

  
  


Chapter 2 Part 1 - _Consult the Group Chat_

  
  


**END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, hopefully these interactions were funny while still sorta in character. I feel like chatfics always rely really heavily on “XXXD lmao random humor” and sex jokes that aren’t funny in the slightest. 
> 
> Not to bash on the genre as a whole, of course! I do like a fair deal of them, but I’d be lying if I said I think that the majority are good. Not to say that I think this is super good and nobody can write a good chatfic, because that would also be a damn lie.
> 
> Also, tag yourself! I’m 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕊𝕡𝕖𝕖𝕣. In any case, I have most of the other parts done (2-5), so I’ll try to upload them soon! Also, don’t worry, the group chat element is only present when the majority of the boys aren’t together in-person, which will happen very rarely.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I certainly enjoyed writing this!


	3. (2/6) Leon and Taka versus the Supermarket!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Leon and Taka try and fail to get the baking supplies without trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I wanted to take the time to say that parts 2-5 can actually be read in any order. These parts are sorta like interconnected one-shots.
> 
> Not much else to say here besides the fact that this is probably my favorite part — it makes me laugh really hard. I also really love the part coming up. Hopefully you enjoy it as well!
> 
> Anyway, without further ado, please enjoy Chapter 2 Part 2 of Boys’ Nights Out!

⚣

Chapter 2 Part 2 - _Leon and Taka versus the Supermarket!_

  
  


Leon walked over to the lobby. He had changed out of his uniform and was wearing a white baseball T-shirt with blue sleeves and a blue skull on the chest pocket. It was 3:13 now, and he was happy to say that Taka would not be able to reprimand him, as he’s slightly early. Well, barely. He’s on time, at least. 

The baseball star shoved his hands into the pockets of his running shorts and snorted. _That dude is such a stickler for the rules and punctuality,_ he thought. _It’s actually ridiculous. Hopefully we have a bit of fun today._

Leon finally made it to the double doors that lead into the lobby. Swinging them open, his classmate began to vigorously wave at him upon entrance. 

“Hello, Leon!” came Taka’s overzealous shouts. “Let‘s make haste to go outside! We still need to hail that cab!” Taka was wearing a red polo shirt and khaki trousers. The kid looked less like a hall monitor and more like a livid State Farm employee. Leon also took note of the black backpack Taka wore on his shoulder. Every time they hang out in public, he seems to have just about everything they could need in there. 

Instead of taking a vocal jab at Taka’s outfit, Leon nodded and walked outside. Outside, it took them 3 minutes to actually get a taxi because Taka kept trying to correct Leon’s hailing form. After a bit, the two Ultimates finally garnered a taxi driver’s attention. 

A mustard yellow cab rolled up to the curbside. The window, which was slightly tinted, slowly went down, and the boys could see a man in his mid-twenties sporting a dyed-blond hairdo with his head turned in their direction. The man was wearing shades, which he flicked up to give the two kids a scrutinizing look. 

“Get in,” he said. Taka and Leon exchanged looks, apprehensive and nonchalant, respectively. They went in and buckled up. The driver looked back at them and hummed. “Where to?”

Leon leaned his weight onto his arm as Taka answered, but retracted his hand when he felt something sticky on the seat. He opted to slouch and place his hands on his knees. The car ride would’ve been boring, but Leon suddenly thought of a way to pass time. 

Leon nudged Taka. “Bro, bro.”

“Something the matter, Leon?”

“Haha, not really. I was just wondering if you wanted to play _I Spy_.”

Taka gave Leon a grave look. He held his glare before breaking out in a dazzling grin. “I thought you would never ask!”

“Okay, I spy, with my little eye, somethingggg . . . red!”

Taka hummed in consideration. His eyes shot around, taking in his surroundings. 

“Is it my shirt?”

“Nope!”

“My eyes?”

“Nah!”

“Your sneakers?”

Leon pumped his heel on the floor of the car. “No, but my sneaks are cool, huh?”

“Very cool! So, is it that suspicious stain on the back of the passenger seat?”

“Yeah! I wonder what that is . . .”

The cabbie huffed. “It’s ketchup.” The light up ahead turned red, so the man turned back and eyed the kids, who suddenly looked very fearful. “What? Some kid had a hot dog. I had to slam the breaks at one point and his food went flying.” 

Leon huffed out a relieved snort. “Oh, yeah, totally!”

“Ahahahaha! Yes! Hot dogs! I sure do love those!” Taka joined in, nervously sweating. The driver shook his head and went back to staring out the windshield. 

“You remind me of my brother, Red Shirt. Very proper and sorta awkward,” the cabbie commented. 

Leon snorted and cupped his hand around his mouth, whispering to Taka. “Bro, the taxi driver just low-key roasted you.” Taka frowned and swatted his friend’s hand away. 

The light turned green, and the cab continued on its way. They continued to have small talk with the cabbie, but never quite got his name. Despite the initial awkward interaction, they had a bit of fun conversing together. After seven minutes of driving, the man parked outside of the store. 

Taka and Leon were giggling about something stupid Mondo had said in the group chat when the cabbie leaned back and tapped Leon’s knee. “Ey, Baseball Tee. EON.”

The boys left the taxi, thanking their driver. “How much money will this be?” Taka asked. 

“$10, please. Though, I would like a tip seeing that y’all think I’m some kinda murderer.”

Taka averted his eyes, embarrassed. “That was very rude of us. You seem like a nice man. I’ll give you $14, okay, sir? Have a lovely day!” Leon nodded in agreement. 

The man smiled. “You too, kids!” With that, the driver sped off. 

Taka sighed. “That was all of my non-donation money.”

Leon and Taka walked into the parking lot. Leon made a show of balancing on the wheel stops. He lost his footing, and Taka had to stop him from falling just in time to make sure he didn’t wipe-out an old lady waddling to the store from her car. 

The boys, after making sure that the lady was okay, went over to the automatic doors. As Leon stepped onto the motion mat, Taka yelled, “Wait!”

Taka marched over to the shopping carts and narrowed his eyes at them. Producing Lysol wipes from his bag, he scrubbed the handle of the cart closest to him. Leon still stood on the motion mat and failed to notice that the doors were opening and closing around him. 

Taka, after seeing that the handle was clean enough to satisfy him, went back to see Leon being scolded by an employee for causing a ruckus and blocking the entrance. 

“Ah, sorry, Miss! My companion didn’t mean anything by it, he simply failed to notice where he was standing! He’s deeply sorry, right, Leon?” 

“Yeah, I really am sorry!” Leon told her. The employee (according to her name tag, Kei) sighed but didn’t press the issue further, so Leon and Taka shot her winning smiles and walked into the supermarket. 

The supermarket smelled of disinfectant, though not in an overbearing way, and loud chatter interrupted by the occasional _beep_ from a cash register was prevalent throughout the store. 

Leon laughed, looking at all of the employees. “Man, Taka, they’re all in get ups like yours! I thought it was just that one girl, but I was wrong!” Taka looked down at his outfit and noticed that Leon’s observation was indeed true. 

“So, what do we get?” Leon asked, pushing the cart. Taka pulled out the envelope and consulted the list Makoto and Byakuya made. 

“Let’s see . . . a box of confectioner’s sugar, a bag of flour, cupcake liners, a small tub of baking soda, cinnamon sticks, cinnamon sugar, a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips, cream of tartar, a vial of vanilla extract, walnuts, and sprinkles, preferably those of the rainbow variety.” They walked around and popped the stuff in the cart. Leon noticed that they still had some money left over and had an idea. 

“Taka, do you think we should get some snacks?” Leon asked. 

Taka pondered it. He seemed to think that it was a good idea, because he pulled out his phone (a Nokia that had a white case with a red prohibition symbol on it) and texted the group chat. 

  
  


**Final Preparations Underway!**

**Corridor Observer** and **Lion Hakuna Matata** have entered the chat

**Corridor Observer:** We Have Leftover Money That Was Not Needed To Get The Baking Supplies, So Would Anybody Like Snacks?

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** and hot cheeto potato chip red bean paste broccoli pb&j soy sauce soda milk with seaweed and oj doesnt count lmao

**Maneki-Naegi, 2D 4 Me,** and **Bitchie Rich** have entered the chat

**Bitchie Rich:** Kuwata, remember that commas exist. Use them. 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** ok mom

**Bitchie Rich:** I know you cannot see me, but I am glaring very hard into my monitor right now. 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** have a ball w/ that byakuya

**Maneki-Naegi:** I am still so sorry about that dare Leon

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** its ok im over it lol

**Maneki-Naegi:** Awesome

**Maneki-Naegi:** Can you two get a bag of sour gummy worms? Byakie’s parents don’t have junk food & Komaru ate the bag I was saving a few days ago

**2D 4 Me:** Seconded on the worms! Choose a bag with a lot of the pink and blue ones, please!

**Maneki-Naegi:** Yessss those are the best

**Bitchie Rich:** Nothing for me. 

**Corridor Observer:** Okay, Good To Know!

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** yall the yellow and red ones are the best dont even play rn

**2D 4 Me:** This is why you aren’t a man of culture, Mr. Kuwata!

**Maneki-Naegi:** I wanna shun you now Leon

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** most people rejected his message

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** they hated leon ‘cuz he told them the truth

**Bitchie Rich:** No, we hate you because you’re full of it. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Did you just compare yourself to Jesus because we disagreed with you about gummies?

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** yea low-key

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** anyway thats rich coming from you byakie

**Maneki-Naegi:** Was “rich” intentional

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** _ruggedly handsome cowboy voice_ mightve been

**Corridor Observer:** What Even Is This Conversation?

**That one kid in the group project** has entered the chat

**That one kid in the group project:** get frozen waffles pls 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** wtf thats super random hiro

**2D 4 Me:** Of what variety?

**That one kid in the group project:** uh good question 

**That one kid in the group project:** blueberry methjnks

**Corridor Observer:** *Methinks. 

**Corridor Observer:** Also, Why Do You Want Waffles?

**2D 4 Me:** Of the blueberry variety!

**Maneki-Naegi:** Can’t forget the blueberries

**That one kid in the group project:** yep

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** but why waffles man

**That one kid in the group project:** i like waffles sue me

**Bitchie Rich:** The only thing worth suing you for at this point is your “crystal” ball and your grungy pants.

**That one kid in the group project:** ouchie

**Maneki-Naegi:** Leggo his Eggos guys

**Bitchie Rich:** I hate you all. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Aw man

**That one kid in the group project:** i leave now

**2D 4 Me:** I shall also make my exit!

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** see ya

**Corridor Observer:** Farewell!

**Bitchie Rich:** Bye. 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Goodbye guys!

**That one kid in the group project** and **2D 4 Me** have left the chat

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** does no one else want anything

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** strike one

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** strike two 

**Maneki-Naegi:** Hold it Leon! Not everybody chimed in yet!

**Corridor Observer:** Right! Where Are Bro And Chihiro?

**Maneki-Naegi:** @ **Mindi** @ **Java off-script** would you two like snacks

**Java off-script** and **Mindi** have joined the chat

**Java off-script:** Oh, hi!

**Mindi:** We having issues with the fucking frostin smh

**Java off-script:** Yep. We just finished attempt two. 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** f

**Java off-script:** Can you guys pick up a box of Honey Nut Cheerios?

**Mindi** changed **Java off-script** ’s name to **Honey Nut Chihiro**

**Honey Nut Chihiro:** I—

**Honey Nut Chihiro:** I actually really like this name! Thanks, Mondo!

**Mindi:** Np bro I’m glad ya like it

**Honey Nut Chihiro:** Still, may I have the Cheerios? 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** im sorry hiro and chi i asked if yall wanted snacks not breakfast

**Mindi:** Hop off their dicks Lee 

**Mindi:** Let them live the good life

**Mindi:** Anyways I want peanuts

**Mindi:** and cotton candy

**Corridor Observer:** Peanuts And Cotton Candy It Is!

**Honey Nut Chihiro:** Killer Klowns. 

**Mindi:** DUDE STOP LMAO

**Corridor Observer:** What?

**Bitchie Rich:** I have peanuts at home, but no cotton candy. 

**Lion Hakuna Matata:** ok then well just get the cotton candy for you

**Mindi:** Alright thanks man

**Honey Nut Chihiro:** Yeah, thanks, you two! Anyway, I gotta go! Bye!

**Mindi:** Ditto see ya later

**Honey Nut Chihiro** and **Mindi** have left the chat

  
  


It was at this point that Leon and Taka left without saying goodbye, as Kei began to yell at them for blocking the aisle. They grabbed the gummies, cotton candy, and breakfast foods, and Leon got jelly beans for himself. 

The boys passed by some condiments, and Leon turned to the aisle. “Taka, should we pick up a small thing of soy sauce?”

Taka vehemently shook his head. “No! That is not a cupcake or cookie ingredient, and it is certainly not a snack, much less a snack anybody wants! Therefore, we cannot get it!”

Leon shrugged. “Well, I have a feeling that if we get bored enough, we might make sushi or something! That way, we have soy sauce from the get-go!” 

Leon shook Taka and begged. “Fine! Get the sauce!” The hall monitor grumbled. Leon grinned, grabbed it, and continued on. 

On their way to the checkout line, Taka spotted something that made him stop in his tracks. Leon, who was pushing the cart, gave him a questioning look. Taka rocked on his heels, grinning like a mental patient. That is to say, a far too wide grin that showed far too many teeth. 

“Look!” Taka said, pointing at an object. “A red scarf! I love things like this!” The scarf was the only one left. The price was listed at $60, which Leon thought was a bit steep of a cost for a scarf. It was pretty, though, with an ornate design and a gold finish. 

“Okay, so buy it and let’s go! We gotta hurry and get this crap to Chi’s!”

Taka looked sad as he said, “I would, but . . . the only money I have left is the baking donation, and I cannot in good conscience use that to buy the scarf.” Sighing, he turned away from the scarf and continued his march to the store’s entrance. 

Leon didn’t like seeing Taka so crestfallen. He looked at the dumb scarf, and, in an effort to lift Taka’s spirits, grabbed it and stuffed it in his pocket. He went to fall in line with his friend, the stolen item feeling like fire against his leg. 

They made it to the cashier. Piling the groceries on the little conveyor belt, the guy behind the register smiled at them. 

“Hi, kids! Is this all?”

Leon felt his blood run cold. “Uhhhm, yeah, why wouldn’t it be? Are you accusing us of stealing?”

The cashier shook his head, a bit bewildered. “No, I’m just making sure you aren’t forgetting something, man.”

“Ah, right. Sorry ‘bout that . . . Daisuke!” Leon said, squinting his eyes at the cashier’s name tag. The cashier raised an eyebrow as he scanned the groceries. If he thought that Leon’s behavior was odd, he didn’t mention it. 

“That’ll be $35.58,” Daisuke said. Taka handed him the money and smiled. 

The cashier collected a few coins into his palm and reached it out to Leon. “Here you go!”

Leon, who was already feeling guilty from taking the scarf, felt even worse. May as well let them have _some_ money. “Keep the change!”

That was the same thing he told his teacher a few hours earlier. A few hours earlier, he wasn’t about to commit a crime. _How things change._

Daisuke smiled. “Thanks, man! Have a great day! EON eagerly awaits your next visit!”

Taka bid farewell, wishing the man a nice day. Leon nodded along, thanking his lucky stars that the scarf wasn’t hanging out of his pocket. 

Leon and Taka put the light green grocery bags into the cart and walked away, Leon pushing once again. They made it to the automatic doors, and Leon was reveling in the thought of getting away with his little theft. 

Leon took in a deep breath and stepped forward, the doors _whooshing_ open. He could practically hear the sweet voice of victory!

. . . no, wait. He heard something, but it wasn’t good; There were shrill whistles sounding next to him. He froze. _Sensors,_ he remembered. _Shit, this is going south fast!_

Taka blinked. “Why are the alarms blaring? Did we forget to have the cashier scan something?” Taka turned on his heel to go back to the check-out, but Leon grabbed his shoulder, wildly shaking his head. 

People’s attention was diverted from their own business to the entrance of the store. Kei, who was helping the old lady Leon almost killed earlier grab a baguette, seethed with anger after seeing who had caused the disturbance. 

“Not those stupid kids again,” the girl employee grumbled. “You two! Did you take something without paying?”

Taka frowned. “Of course not! We’d never!” 

Leon pumped his fist in the air, nodding. “Totally! Your sensors are wack!”

Kei leaned forward from her position in the bread aisle and sneered at them. “Yeah, right! I think you should turn yourselves in! It’ll be better for you little thieves that way!

“NEVER!” Taka exclaimed, tears pricking his eyes. “THIS IS A FALSE ACCUSATION!”

Shoppers began to whisper among themselves. “Is that employee shoplifting with a punk?”

Leon began to freak out. He took a deep breath and willed himself not to look guilty of any wrongdoing. “Hmm, Taka?”

“Yes, Leon?” Taka replied. He and Leon stepped back slowly, eyeing the security guards that noticed them. 

“Do you trust me?” Taka’s head bobbed. “Okay, since you trust me, I need you to listen to me. I need you to place your feet on this shopping cart’s bottom bar and hold on.”

“That’s against the rules!”

“Taka, c’mon!” Leon pouted, and Taka sighed. He walked ahead of Leon and climbed up onto the bar. 

“What’re you two doing?” A burly security officer yelled, breaking into a sprint. 

“Taka, you sure you wanna be facing me? I think you should turn around.”

Taka, still concerned, turned and squatted slightly in order to grip the cart properly. “Leon, what is this—”

“YOU’LL NEVER TaKE US ALIVE!” Leon screeched, though a voice crack made him sound less badass than he had hoped. Shaking off the minor embarrassment, Leon began running with the cart. 

“Leon! What are you doing?!”

⍉

Inside EON, Kei stared at the doors that just released two criminals. She felt played. 

_Sorry, miss! We weren’t paying attention!_

_We didn’t mean to block the aisle!_

_THIS IS A FALSE ACCUSATION!_

What a joke. Those two were probably planning to steal from the start. 

“Hey, Daisuke!” she shouted, rounding in on her co-worker. “Why didn’t you back me up? Were they acting suspicious at the register?”

Daisuke shrugged. “Red-head frantically accused me of accusing him of stealing. _Totally_ suspicious. Then again, he gave me his change, so whatever.”

Kei threw a pack of French hamburger buns at him. She was shaking with anger. “SOMEBODY CALL THE MANAGER AND TELL HIM THAT TWO DELINQUENTS JUST STOLE FROM US!”

“I think you take your job _way_ too seriously,” Daisuke muttered, opening the bag and chomping on a bread roll. 

⍉

The two busted out of the supermarket and made it across the parking lot. They could hear people yelling at them, but Leon’s only thought was to make it to Chihiro’s house. Kei screamed something about telling the manager about the delinquents that robbed them. Taka winced; Never in his life had he been called a delinquent. 

“I’m sorry, Taka!” Leon said, breaking the tense silence that was smothering them.“This is all my fault; I shoplifted the scarf!”

“Leon!” Taka urgently said. 

“Please, let’s just get to Chi-Chi’s place! You can reprimand me all you want once we do!”

Taka shook his head, gasping. “No, Leon—!”

“I know, I know, okay?! I just wanted you to have a nice sca—!”

“LEON, YOU’RE ABOUT TO HIT A TODDLER!”

Leon’s eyes popped open and he swerved the cart to the right, narrowly missing a young boy. The boy’s mother ran up to him and scooped him up in her arms. 

“Leon,” Taka started. Leon cringed. He hated when Taka was disappointed in him. “I appreciate the thought, but stealing is a crime!”

“I’m really sorry, man! You just looked so sad! I just wanted you to have a nice present because you’re my friend and you deserve it!”

Taka’s stern expression softened. Mondo and Leon often acted with their hearts rather than their heads. Even though they carry on like fools, Taka knows he can rely on them. Taka twisted a bit so he could attempt to make eye contact with Leon and gave his friend a thumbs up. 

“Thank you, Leon! Listen, will you go back with me after dropping off the groceries so I can pay for the scarf?! I’ll pick up some money from my dorm!”

“Totally!! Yo, I’ll pay for it, actually! I’m the one who stole it, and it was supposed to be a present! The cops might detain us for a bit though, haha!!”

“LET US HOPE NOT! I DO NOT WISH TO GO TO JAIL!”

Leon and Taka fell into a silence as the wind tousled their hair. Chihiro’s house was eight minutes from the store on foot. They just had to get there and everything would be okay. 

Legs pumping, Leon ran out of the plaza and skirted around other shoppers. Even though his relationship with baseball is complicated, he was glad that his natural talent for it aided him in running. 

While Leon was surprisingly good at driving the cart, Taka couldn’t help but fear getting tossed off. Even though his legs began to burn from his uncomfortable squat, he knew better than to try and wriggle around. 

Taka shut his eyes, surrounding him in darkness, but that only served to make him more paranoid about hitting something. 

_I have the ability to see things Leon may not be able to because I’m so close to the ground,_ Taka told himself. _I must keep my eyes open and my mind alert in order to help him!_

“AHA! YES! I WILL HELP YOU EVADE THE AUTHORITIES UNTIL WE CAN GO BACK AND PLEAD OUR CASES!” Taka declared.

“AW, HELL YEAH, TAKA! THAT’S HARDCORE!” 

The route to Chihiro’s place took them by a busy street corner. “MOVE OUT THE WAY!” Leon warned the people on the sidewalk. A jogger had to press himself against the walls of a pizzeria in order to avoid getting hit. Giving the man a sincere apology, Leon slowed down a bit. 

Multiple people grabbed at them, realizing what was going on, so Leon had to make his way through the crowds. Taka decided to take it upon himself to say “Have a fantastic day!” to anybody that happened by. 

“You criminals! Stop right now!” A woman with a low ponytail said, successfully pulling on Leon’s shirt. “This is public endangerment!” Leon wrestled his way out of her grip and ran again. Seeing that Leon and Taka were getting away, she screamed, “I’LL CALL THE POLICE!”

Leon flipped her the bird and grinned. 

“HAVE FUN WITH THAT, DEBORAH!” He hooted. 

“MY NAME IS _MINAKO!”_

“Her name is Minako!” Taka echoed. “Don’t call the police, Minako! Thanks!”

They were fastly approaching an intersection. The lights were green and cars were everywhere. If they waited for the light to go red, they’d get caught. If they continued on, they’d get run over. However, they couldn’t exactly stop moving at this point. 

Taka racked his brain for ideas. “Leon, take a right into the alley!” Leon whooped and made his way to the backstreets, ignoring the insults that the other pedestrians threw at them. 

The alleyway was dark and desolate. Shivers went up Leon’s spine, and he ran even faster. Rocks got under the cart’s wheels, and he accidentally knocked over a garbage can. A bag burst open when it impacted the ground, splattering yogurt on Taka’s face and shirt and coating the shoes Leon was so proud of in spaghetti sauce. Leon had to choke back an anguished sob. Those shoes . . . were not cheap. 

“Worry not, Leon! I’ll buy you new shoes later!” Taka said. 

A dry smile made its way on Leon’s face to mask the despair he felt. “Nah, you don’t gotta! It’s my fault I got trash on them!”

He was almost out of the alley when he heard a startled _meow._ Screeching to a halt, Leon tried to keep the cart steady as Taka almost fell out. 

Taka looked down and saw a heavy-set black cat at his feet. Reaching out to gently move it to the side, the cat launched at him. 

“ _MRROWWW,”_ went the cat, scratching Taka’s face. Taka tumbled out from the underside of the cart, desperately grabbing at the cat. Taka fell onto his stomach, and the air was knocked out of his lungs. 

The cat continued to try and get at Taka’s face. It hopped on his head and peered down. Seeing an opportunity, the hall monitor shot his hands up and brought them around the cat’s midsection. Lifting it in the air, Taka ripped his head from the ground and sat in a criss-cross.

“GET OFF, YOU—!” Taka shrieked, holding the cat at arm’s distance and panting. The cat wriggled in the teen’s grasp, meowing crazily. It clawed Taka’s hands, causing Taka to bite his lip to keep from screaming again. Leon, who was dumbstruck by this whole ordeal, shook off his shock.

“Bro, I gotcha!” He cried, running behind the cat and pulling it away from Taka. The cat fell from Leon’s hands and started licking the baseball player's shoes. Suddenly, a light bulb went off in his head. 

“OH, IT WANTS FOOD!” 

Taka hurriedly shrugged off his backpack and produced a rag. He wiped at his face and shirt before tossing the rag to Leon and grabbing the cat once more. Leon scrubbed at his shoes, and a few tears rolled down his cheeks at the sight of them. Those were pretty cool sneaks. 

He quickly finished and laid the rag on the ground, so the part that had the food faced upwards. 

The cat’s yellow eyes narrowed. After being lowered to the road by a very scratched Taka, it began to lap up the leftovers. 

Taka went back to his place under the cart with a wide beam that was mirrored on Leon’s face. “Good thinking there, Taka!” Taka’s grin widened. 

“Thank you, Leon! Though, it will go to waste if we don’t continue moving! Use your steering skills to get us out of here!” Leon winked in response and went back to his position at the cart’s handle. 

“Nice seeing ya, kitty!” Leon said. 

“Yes, good luck in your future scavenging endeavors!” Taka added, waving goodbye. The boys finally left the alleyway and came out by a local middle school. 

Leon began to slow his pace to a jog. He knew this area; they were nearing Chihiro’s house. The yelling from bystanders had practically disappeared, so they relaxed and looked around. 

“Yo, Taka!”

Taka let out a small grunt in response. 

“I spy, with my little eye . . .”

“CEASE AND DESIST!!”

Taka twisted once again to see where that noise came from, almost falling off the cart when he saw . . . 

“LEON, IT’S THE POLICE!” Leon stiffened. Did Minako snitch? Somebody else from the intersection? Was it somebody in the supermarket? Did the officers just happen to see them? 

He was _so close_ to Chihiro’s house. Just 3 more minutes and they’d be more golden than that scarf’s design. The sirens began to blast and red and blue light showered the boys, shattering Leon’s hope spot. 

“PICK UP THE PACE, LEON! HURRY!” Taka screeched, his voice hoarse. The cop car yuck ended slightly, and Leon could hear the tires grinding against the road. 

“FUCK ME IN THE ASS WITH A CACTUS!” Leon howled, complying with Taka’s request, the latter looking appalled at Leon’s statement. The car was fairly far away, but that wouldn’t last for long. The blue of the sky and the pink cherry blossoms falling from the trees blurred together as the boys rushed past, screaming. 

“BOYS, BOYS, BOYS!” 

Leon felt something on his arm as he sprinted dangerously close to a metal fence, and liquid began oozing down his arm. _Oh, fun, I’m bleeding!_ He sarcastically thought, rolling his eyes before wincing. _Crap, it actually really hurts . . . I’ve never been more glad to have my tetanus shot . . ._

Leon entered Chihiro’s block. “TAKA! TELL ME WHEN YOU SEE CHI’S HOUSE!” Taka saluted and clutched the shopping cart tighter, his knuckles turning white. The sirens rang louder as Leon turned a sharp corner, and the force almost threw Taka from the stolen cart. 

Taka wildly looked around, hoping to find his friend’s house. It was pale blue in color with a galvanized roof. Taka remembered that it was on the left side of the street, so he focused his gaze accordingly. It had an asphalt driveway that led to the road. There were always a few crudely made chalk drawings on the sidewalk, courtesy of the toddler next door. Vines that hang in baskets from the window sills were dotted with wisteria. 

_Kiyotaka Ishimaru, future Japanese Prime Minister, search for that wisteria like your life depends on it!_

As the moral compass looked for the house, he feared they had passed it. If they had to turn back or fully loop the street, they’d get caught by the police. They _really_ couldn’t afford to let that happen. 

Chihiro’s neighbors began to come out of their homes, shocked into silence. The scene of a teenager seemingly kidnapping an EON employee as both of them hooted like banshees was an odd sight, to be fair. It didn’t help that the people were covered in trash and hitching a ride on a shopping cart while police sirens wailed in the distance. 

Suddenly, as it seemed that their criminal adventures were nearing the end, Taka caught sight of Chihiro’s home; it was about 3 meters away. 

“LEON, I SEE IT! VEER LEFT WHEN I TELL YOU TO, OKAY?!”

“OKAY!”

“THREE!”

Taka gripped the cart. His hands were sore, but he didn’t want to let go. 

“TWO!”

The cop car fell far behind and the officer at the wheel let out a slew of profanities. 

“TURN! TO YOUR LEFT!”

Leon yelped and used all of his weight to force the cart in the direction of Chihiro’s home. Taka was thrown onto the sidewalk, his face next to a chalk drawing of a huge dog with foam in its mouth. Well, he thought it was a dog, anyway. Perhaps it’s a spaghetti monster. 

_Chihiro’s neighbor is an . . . interesting child,_ Taka thought. 

Rolling over on his back, he saw Leon kneeling on the driveway and bracing himself against the overturned shopping cart, his knees digging into the ground. 

Taka scrambled up and reached his hand out to Leon. Leon looked at Taka’s outstretched hand and started laughing. The intensity of the laugh increased as Leon gripped his friend’s hand as he shakily got up. Taka joined in, and they clutched each other in hysterics. 

“That was . . . literally the worst!” Leon hiccuped, kicking over the cart to grab the groceries. Tears were forming in his light blue eyes. “That was simultaneously the best and worst thing that happened to me _ever.”_

“It was an entire mess, bro!” Taka wheezed. He sobered up while bringing the bags to Chihiro’s front door. “Though, we broke some laws. I don’t deserve to be called the Ultimate Moral Compass anymore.” 

Leon gave his raven-haired friend a contrite look and clapped a hand onto Taka’s shoulder. “We only broke laws because of me, so don’t blame yourself, man. I’m really sorry.” Leon gave Taka a small but warm smile as he rang the doorbell. Taka reciprocated it and they turned their attention back to the house. 

The boys stared at the door. Taka glanced at the hanging plants that were showcasing flowers in lovely shades of purple and pink. Birds were chirping, it was refreshingly sunny . . . after what they went through during their trip out, the serene scene almost felt wrong. 

Mondo opened the door, covered head to toe in blue and orange frosting. His eyeliner was running, as it was mixing with some particularly liquidy frosting. His prized pompadour had powdered sugar falling off from it in clumps, and he was frowning darkly. He looked really stressed.

“Mondo, hey, are you ‘kay?”

“Salutations, brother!”

“Hey, guys,” he said, eyes practically closed. Forcing them open, Mondo was met with the sight of Leon and Taka looking like they had to throw hands to get their groceries back from an underground crime ring. 

“Whoa, what the fuck happened to y’all?! You look like you died! Twice!”

If the two kids/small-time criminals had access to a mirror, they’d see what Mondo meant. They had dirt all over their clothes and scratches all over their bodies. They also stank of old food and sweat, which Mondo figured must be because they have literal trash on them. 

Taka had the remains of a goopy dairy product in his hair and on his shirt. His lip was busted, courtesy of the sidewalk that he face planted onto, and dried blood was encrusted all over his face. 

Leon wasn’t in much better shape. His T-shirt sleeve and upper arm had sizable tears in them. His facial hair clasp was gone and bruises were forming on his knees, purple and painful looking. He was missing a few piercings, and his legs were violently trembling in his spaghetti sauced sneakers. 

Of course, neither of them had access to a mirror and the adrenaline hadn’t worn off yet, so they laughed slightly and shoved the groceries into Mondo’s hands, waving off his question. 

“It’s nothing, bro,” Taka said lightly. “We just went to get the groceries after hopping into what we thought was an ax-murderer’s cab!”

“Then I stole a scarf.” Leon produced the scarf from the pocket of his shorts, waving it around. “In order to escape the crowd of people at EON, Taka hopped onto a shopping cart and we stole that, too.”

“Leon almost ran over a child and a grown man!”

“Then some Mimaki bitch tried to stop us on the street corner by that pizza place.”

Taka snorted. _Mimaki—_

He quickly stopped laughing so he could tell the next part of the story. “We would’ve gotten run over by cars at an intersection, but I suggested we go to an alleyway.”

“In the alley, Taka and I wrestled a fat-ass cat that wanted to eat the garbage on our clothes.”

“We escaped the brutal brawl with the ferocious feline by wiping up the food and throwing it on the ground!”

“Then, a cop car chased after us!”

“I kept watch for Chihiro’s house . . .

“. . . and I had to toss us onto the driveway! Anyway, here we are!” Leon and Taka ended the abridged version of their shopping trip with jazz hands, where Mondo could see that Taka’s hands were riddled with deep claw marks and Leon was having trouble moving his injured arm. 

Mondo seemed to be at a loss for words, causing Taka and Leon to laugh once more. 

“What?! That sounds fun as fuck!” Mondo finally yelled. “Well, not the injury part. _That_ part sucks ass.” Mondo turned toward the interior of the house. “Chi, come over ‘ere and take a look at Taka ‘n Leon!”

Chihiro walked over, slipping on some icing on the greased wooden floors of his home. His hair was thick with blue frosting and his forehead was badly bruised. His dark green Henley shirt was falling off his thin shoulder, and it seemed to be soaked in milk. 

“Heya, Chi-Chi!”

“Greetings, Chihiro!”

“Are you two okay?” Chihiro asked in his usual soft voice, though there was a hint of edge in it. “Do you want to come in? You can wash up and stuff!”

Leon and Taka were tempted to accept Chihiro’s offer, but sirens started wailing again. All of them turned to the noise, the EON duo anxious and the bakers confused. 

Leon cringed. “We’d love to, but we’re on the run from the police.” 

Chihiro blinked and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “You _what?!”_

_Yeah,_ Leon thought, _that’s a fair reaction._

“Tell ya later, gotta go!” Taka and Leon limped over to the shopping cart. Preparing to take off again, a familiar vehicle pulled up. 

“Get in,” the blonde cabbie barked. “Bring the scarf and shove the cart into the trunk.” Not questioning this at all, the teens did what they were told. The car zoomed away from Chihiro’s home. 

Chihiro glanced up at Mondo. “ . . . d-did they just get kidnapped?”

“Ya know, Chi? I don’t have a fuckin’ clue.” Mondo shrugged and turned back into the house. Wiping some frosting off of Chihiro’s hair, he grinned and held up the plastic bags he had received from his other friends. “Anyway, let’s go make some cookies ‘n shit!”

⍉

In the cab, Taka hummed along to some American song he didn’t know the name of. Something about clocks . . . he really doesn’t know, but he _does_ know the lyrics, for the most part. “So, Mr. Cabbie—“

Mr. Cabbie laughed. “The name’s Jiryu.”

Taka smiled. “I’m Kiyotaka Ishimaru, and my friend here is Leon Kuwata! Nice to be acquainted, Mr. Jiryu!” Leon gave Jiryu friendly finger-guns when he heard his name mentioned.

“Oh, I thought you two looked familiar! You’re the Hope’s Peak Academy kids, yeah? Are the two crazy-looking guys I saw at that house your classmates?”

Leon snorted. “Those two were Mondo Oowada and Chihiro Fujisaki. They’re our classmates and super good friends of ours, yeah,” he confirmed. Jiryu nodded and checked the rear view mirror. 

“So, Mr. Jiryu,” Taka began again, “how did you know about the scarf?” Jiryu laughed once more, a rumbling sound escaping his lips. 

“Kid, remember the brother I mentioned earlier?”

Leon and Taka nodded, unsure of where the conversation was going. 

“Well, my brother just so happens to be the manager of that particular store.”

Leon gaped at Jiryu, shock obvious on his face. “For real?!”

“For real,” the cabbie said. “He called me and started complaining about two “punk” kids that robbed his store. He described y’all to me, so I decided to drive around and look for you. I’ll give you money to pay off the scarf, okay? Just give them the cart and apologize a lot.” 

Jiryu tapped his index finger against the steering wheel in contemplation. “Um, maybe try to paint your side the story in the most positive light possible. My brother is probably going to help drop the charges if you butter him up enough, but you never know. I wasn’t kidding when I said he’s uptight . . .” _Not that it isn’t warranted in this situation,_ Jiryu added to himself. _After all, they did rob him._

“Thank you, Mr. Jiryu! We’ll find some way to pay you back!” Taka promised. 

“Yeah! Say, can we get your business card?” Leon asked. Their taxi driver nodded and tossed Leon a slip of card stock paper. 

“That’s nice of you boys,” Jiryu said, eyes crinkling with what can only be named as fondness, “but don’t fret about having to make it up to me. I volunteered to help, after all.”

Leon received a text. He opened it with a groan and started typing away. 

The people in the cab ceased talking, and the soft sounds of pop music coming from the radio became the only source of noise. Taka and Leon were beginning to ache from the injuries they sustained. Trying to take his mind off of his immense pain, Taka looked out the window. 

Even though they’d committed a few misdemeanors at _best_ , Taka had to admit that it had been a bit fun. They’d get thoroughly chewed out and possibly taken to the police station, but it had been a while since he got to hang out with Leon one-on-one. Therefore, Taka wouldn’t really have it any other way.

This adventure, in his opinion at least, showed him that Leon could use some impulse control, and he could learn to loosen up a bit. They could work on that together, he concluded. What’re friends for, after all?

Taka went back to looking straight ahead. Smiling softly, he had an idea that would make the ride back to the supermarket less boring. 

“Hey, Leon!” Leon sluggishly turned his head to his companion. “I spy, with my little eye . . .”

  
  


Chapter 2 Part 2 - _Leon and Taka versus the Supermarket!_

**END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might be wondering, “Why were Mondo and Chihiro covered it frosting? Are they alright?” Well, don't worry — it gets worse for them.
> 
> Anyway, tag yourself! I’m ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴜsᴘɪᴄɪᴏᴜs sᴛᴀɪɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀssᴇɴɢᴇʀ’s sᴇᴀᴛ.
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I certainly enjoyed writing this!


	4. (3/6) Cupcake Wars with Mondo and Chihiro!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mondo and Chihiro try to bake. Of course, things don’t go exactly as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren’t I on fire with these uploads? This part is probably the longest (perhaps 5 is longer, though) so be prepared for that! 
> 
> Anyway, without further ado, please enjoy Chapter 2 Part 3 of Boys’ Nights Out!

⚣

Chapter 2 Part 3 - _Cupcake Wars with Mondo and Chihiro!_

  
  


Mondo rolled off of his dorm room’s bed at 12:47. He was chilling after escorting Leon to the nurse’s office. Mondo had made plans to make frosting with at Chihiro’s place at 2:45, but he wanted to hang out and _possibly_ start before the time they agreed on, so he shrugged off his school uniform and put on a black leather jacket (not his usual Crazy Diamonds one, though; he couldn’t afford to let that become messy), a loose wife-beater, and black boot-cut jeans.

Mondo whipped out his phone (Samsung Note; it was protected with a sturdy black case with a rose gold Crazy Diamonds emblem) and texted Chihiro. 

  
  


Private messages between _Mondo Oowada_ and _Chihiro Fujisaki_

_Mondo Oowada’s_ contact name for _Chihiro Fujisaki:_

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth**

_Chihiro Fujisaki’s_ contact name for _Mondo Oowada:_

**Unstable Minerals**

  
  


**Unstable Minerals:** Oi Chi

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth:** What’s up?

**Unstable Minerals:** Do ya mind if I swing over bit early

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth:** No, of course not! Sorry if I sound rude, but why?

**Unstable Minerals:** Ya don’t sound rude. I just wanna hang out for a while first

**Unstable Minerals:** And if we get started early we’ll have more time to start baking when Lee and Bro come by

**Unstable Minerals:** I'm glad those too got off their asses and went out

**Unstable Minerals:** *two

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth:** Totally. Better to do this today than tomorrow. 

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth:** And good point. This’ll probably be time-consuming, so starting ASAP would be in our best interest. Hopefully we don’t get distracted. 

**Unstable Minerals:** Oh, can I sleep over? I’ll bring what I’m bringing for Byakuyas tomorrow but your place is closer to his than HPA is

**Unstable Minerals:** Sorry for springin this on ya outta the blue

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth:** It’s no issue, Mondo! I’ll text my dad, but I know he won’t say no. He likes you. 

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth:** Will we be going to Bya-Bya’s together?

**Unstable Minerals:** Ofc

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth:** 👌🏻

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth:** Sorry, but I gotta go. I’ll see you at my place!

**Unstable Minerals:** Yea later!

Mondo unconsciously adopted a small smile as they said their farewells. He knew that Chihiro’s father liked all of his son’s friends, especially him. Mondo was shocked when Chihiro told him so a few months ago. 

☯︎

_Mondo started to laugh._ “Chi, quit fuckin’ around. Yer pops is always givin’ me looks when I come over.” _Mondo gestured to himself, disbelief obvious on his face._ “I don’ really blame him, of course. I’m big, loud, the leader of a fuckin’ **biker gang** , and I curse like a goddamn sailor. I’m surprised he hasn’t told ya to stop hanging out with me at this point, honestly!”

_Chihiro twisted his head to look at Mondo. He was smiling as he sat atop a desk. Class had just let out, and the two were the only people in the room._ “You’re joking, I hope,” _he said. Mondo only huffed in response._

“My dad likes you because you're my friend. I think he knows that despite your admittedly rough exterior, you’re a loyal guy who would protect your friends until the very end. He respects you for that, and because of that very same thing, I look up to you.” _Chihiro jumped off the desk and smiled wider._ “Even if you don’t see it, both my dad and I know that you’re a good person, Mondo. Please remember that!”

_And remember Mondo did, though he really couldn’t see what Chihiro had meant._

☯︎

The motorcyclist walked out of his room, a lilac duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He had his usual scowl and threatening slouch as he stalked the hallway. Mondo’s destination was a sharp-toothed upperclassmen with pink hair and an obsession with some princess chick: Kazuichi Soda. Or, to be more specific, Kazuichi’s garage. 

Mondo made it outside. The sun was brightly shining and the wind had picked up significantly from earlier. He hooked a right and stomped into the garage. He found Kazuichi slouched over a table with grease spots, fiddling with an engine. 

The upperclassman was a friend of Mondo’s, Leon’s, and Chihiro’s and a very friendly acquaintance of Taka’s. In fact, Mondo vaguely remembers Chihiro bursting into his bedroom at 1:00 A.M. a month ago to share robot blueprints that the programmer and mechanic had brainstormed together. Thinking even more, he should bring up Chihiro’s concerning sleep schedule more often. 

“Oi, Soda! ‘M here fer my bike!” Kazuichi turned in his stool and gave Mondo a thumbs-up. Mondo gruffly nodded and hopped on his Kawasaki. He was glad that Kazuichi let him keep his motorcycle in his garage; he’d have no place to keep it otherwise. 

“Where ya going, Mondo?”

“To Chihiro’s place. We’re gonna bake shit fer that sleepover I told ya ‘bout.”

Kazuichi’s jaw dropped. “You?! Baking?! As in, ovens and stoves and shit?!” The pink-haired boy began to cackle, holding his stomach as he doubled over. “Who would even _allow_ that!?”

Irritation sparked in Mondo’s gut, hot and heavy. His temper was quick to blow up and hard to handle once on a roll. Clenching his fists, he glowered at his upperclassman.

Anger radiated from Mondo’s very being as he said, “The rest of the guys, ya dick!” Kazuichi’s laughing fit stopped immediately. Even though that was what Mondo wanted, he couldn’t stop himself from continuing his rant. “What!? Ya think I can’t handle some frou frou shit like decoratin’ cakes!? Do ya think I’m an idiot or somethin’!?”

Mondo’s death stare bore into the shocked mechanic. “B-bro, you need to cool it!” Kazuichi finally stuttered out. “I was just joking! Ya know how you’re a tough biker guy? I-I was makin’ a joke about how you’d probably start a fire!” Kazuichi punctuated his hasty response by frantically wringing his beanie. 

Mondo stared at Kazuichi more, though his pale lavender eyes gradually dropped the scary look for a slightly annoyed one. 

After another tense moment, the biker scoffed. “I’m sorry fer yellin’ at ya, Soda. Really. I’ll make it up to ya!” Mondo revved up his motorcycle. Giving Kazuichi a brief, unreadable look, he gritted his teeth. 

“I made Taka, Lee, and most importantly, Chi, a promise . . . _as a man_. I promised to control my temper.”

Kazuichi plucked some lint off of his lime green jumpsuit and nervously smiled. “I believe that, Mondo. You’re a good guy, temper-tantrums aside.” Mondo frowned and felt his brows creasing. _So I’ve been told._

“Well, ‘m off. See ya!” 

With that, Mondo drove away. 

Riding motorcycles never failed to thrill Mondo. He was cheekily warned by friends of his that too much of a good thing eventually becomes stale, but that never rang true when it came to this. His corn- shaped pompadour (never describe his hair like this unless you wish to give up your privilege to an unbroken nose, though) was whipped by the wind blowing past as pure delight coursed through his veins. 

After a few minutes of driving, Mondo made it to Chihiro’s place. His house was a light shade of cornflower blue with a silvery roof. It was a nice place. It had a garage with a darker blue gate, in which Mondo was going to put his bike away. 

  
  


Private messages between _Mondo Oowada_ and _Chihiro Fujisaki_

  
  


**Unstable Minerals:** I’m here

**Unstable Minerals:** Standing on your driveway

**Unstable Minerals:** Open up

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth:** I forgot to check the contact name for a moment and I was wondering who the heck was telling me to open up.

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth:** Low-key sounds like a threat out of context. 

**Unstable Minerals:** Lmao

**Cha-Cha Real Smooth:** Anyway, I'll open it! See you inside the garage!

  
  


As soon as Mondo shoved his phone back inside his jacket pocket, he heard the grumbling of the garage’s gate lifting up. Within the garage, there were wires, a few broken electronics in a tub, and a box labeled _Girl’s clothing._

Yeah, that last item was something Mondo knew was a sore spot for Chihiro. Chihiro had told his class that “she” was a he in late December and told Mondo two months prior to that. Everybody in the academy knew before long, and he decided to break the news to the public during the winter holidays. Most people were accepting (“Girl or boy, the kid is cute,” is a sentiment his rabid fanbase held) but others welcomed the reveal like you’d welcome a vampire to your house. That is to say, not at all. 

Fujisaki took the good and bad of the situation with stride. Even though the programmer was puny, his mental fortitude was unmatched. While Mondo was proud of how strong his friend was, a deep, dark part of him was insanely envious.

The boy in question was sitting on a table in the garage, swinging his legs. “H-hi!” he said. “Nice to see you again after the nurse’s office trip.”

Mondo chuckled. “I still can’t believe Leon _threw up_ on ya by accident!” He rolled his motorbike in as Chihiro looked a bit sick. 

“Please don’t remind me. That was . . . really gross . . .” Chihiro brightened up after a moment. “I’m glad he’s okay now, though!” Mondo’s face broke out into a wide smile as well. He stepped out of his loafers and placed them in the shoe rack by the door. 

Both of them exited the garage with Mondo following behind Chihiro. The shorter boy was wearing a long-sleeved Henley shirt that was a bit too big, so it was tucked into his dark blue skinny jeans. His socks had little 8-bit stars on them. 

“Okay,” Chihiro said, “I have all of the things we need to make cream cheese frosting. We only have three shots at this until Leon and Taka get back with the groceries, though, because I don’t have much powdered sugar left here..”

Chihiro pointed to a few bricks of cream cheese and some unsalted butter lying on the kitchen’s cream colored island. “I put those to soften, like, two minutes ago, and it takes about thirty minutes for that stuff to get to room temperature, so do you wanna watch something while we wait?”

Mondo hummed. “Yeah, sure. Got anythin’ in mind?”

Chihiro pursed his lips as he and Mondo left the kitchen and entered the family room. They sat down on a plush couch and the programmer reached out to grab the television remote. “Ah, do you wanna check out _Pokémon: Black and White?”_

Mondo rolled his eyes. “I wanted to like that shit, ‘cuz the plot is awesome-soundin’! I mean, you have these animals with superpowers! I wanted the dog-based ones . . .” Mondo began to day-dream about snuggling with a fire dog. He was staring off into space and wasn’t moving. 

In his dream, the Pokémon burnt his hair ever so slightly. That’s okay, though, because it’s cute as hell!

Meanwhile in the real world, Chihiro looked frightened as he asked, “M-Mondo, are you okay? Are you having a s-seizure?” He raised his hand and poked Mondo’s cheek. The biker snapped out of his reverie with a sheepish smile. 

“Sorry, kiddo! Um, what was I sayin’?”

“Oh, I think it was something about wanting to like _Pokémon_ because it sounds cool.”

Mondo aggressively snapped his fingers. “That’s right! Anyway, I like the games just fine, but that sniveling Ash Ketchum bitch sucks the fun outta the anime! Like, you’re catching all of these cool _monsters_ but after he goes to a new area, he just forgets about all of ‘em ‘cuz he has that obese Pikachu wit’ ‘im! Not to mention, he’s annoyin’ as fuck!”

Chihiro giggled. “I get that. Team Rocket is the only reason I watch, to be honest.”

Mondo rubbed the back of his neck. “Hmm, how ‘bout a sitcom?”

“Local or foreign?”

“Foreign! The American ones are retarded as hell, so I can sit there ‘n be like, ‘at least I’m not _that_ guy,’ ya know?”

“Teeheehee! Okay, American sitcoms . . .” Chihiro popped his lips as he scrolled through the selection of shows. Mondo thought that it was a pretty sick rhythm, so he began beatboxing. Chihiro, smiling, increased the noise of his pops and started snapping. 

They stopped after a minute. “That was fun!” Was all Chihiro said. 

Mondo nodded sagely. “We should start a band or somethin’. Leon would wanna be the lead singer. I wouldn’t want that though; he sounds like hot garbage.”

Chihiro frowned. “Mondo, that’s really rude.” He blinked and scratched his cheek. “But . . . you aren’t exactly off the mark.”

“I know I ain’t off the mark! Hina’s lil bro literally got queasy after Lee ‘serenaded’ ‘im the other day!” 

Chihiro giggled remembering that. “Oh, yeah! Poor Yuta! While singing definitely isn’t Leon’s strong suit, he’s pretty good on the guitar!”

“Remember when Sayaka started singin’ for us durin’ her introduction on the first day of school and Lee started shreddin’ it on a broom to accompany her?”

“Ha, who could forget?”

Chihiro and Mondo scrolled through potential sitcoms but didn’t find any that stood out to them. They sat through half of an episode of _Drake and Josh_. They felt that while it was funny, they should try to find something else. 

Clicking off the program, they spent a while looking for another thing to watch. 

“I have an idea!” the gang leader suddenly shouted, slightly startling his smaller friend. “Let’s watch a _horror_ movie!”

“E-Eh?” Chihiro squeaked. Mondo slung his beefy arm over Chihiro’s shoulder. 

“No worries, bro! I’ll protect ya if anythin’ spooky happens!” 

“That’s very sweet of you to offer, Mondo!”

Chihiro typed “horror movies” and found a few that sounded interesting. “ _Perfect Blue_ , _The Thing, Scream, Ring, Audition, Killer Klowns from Outer Space—”_ he cut himself off, staring at the screen. “What? I’m confused. What’re they gonna do? Toss cotton candy at you?”

Mondo clutched at his heart. “Oh my stars _,”_ he said, swooning and speaking with a thick southern accent, “don’t let the space clowns throw boilin’ popcorn butter in yer face, Chi!”

Chihiro made a gurgling noise. “I was hit! I’m melting~!” Dramatically clawing at his throat, Chihiro let out another choking sound as he flopped off the sofa and onto the fluffy mat. He and Mondo let out a fit of giggles. “Gosh, that movie sounds like the stupidest thing!”

“Yeah, that’s why I literally can’t watch that shit. I wanna get scared, not mildly pissed off!” He banged his fist against his chest. “How about _Scream?_ I heard it’s supposed to be scary, but a bit funny, too. I feel like the other ones would freak ya out too much.” He grinned. “Plus, it’s foreign, so that’s like hittin’ two birds with one stone!”

“Hmm, alright! Is _Scream_ kinda like a parody film?” Chihiro asked. Mondo confirmed this, so Chihiro clicked on the movie. 

☯︎︎

Chihiro had a throw pillow squeezed in one hand. His breathing was flighty and his eyes, which were large to begin with, bugged out of his face. His complexion was ashen and tear-streaked and his other hand (well, arm) was wrapped around Mondo’s arm, his fingernails digging into Mondo’s skin. 

Mondo also looked a bit shaken up. He was stock-still and felt a dull pain in his chest. He was not nearly as bad as Chihiro, however. 

Mondo’s first thought after the movie was, _whoa, that was real fuckin’ hardcore fer a parody._ His second thought was that the ingredients should be more than ready to make frosting at this point. They should get on that. 

Just before he could speak about the frosting, Chihiro started talking about the film they saw. 

“I-I can’t believe all those p-people died!” Chihiro said. 

Mondo nodded. “‘M jus’ glad my main man Randy is still alive kickin’.”

Chihiro chewed on his lip and started to tear up. “ . . . B-Billy and Stu are the worst!”

“Ya spittin’ facts, Chi! They killed that blonde chick’s boyfriend!”

“And they h-hung Casey from a tree w-with her intestines!”

“ . . . killed that weird principal guy and the camera dude. . .”

“. . . and c-crushed Tatum with that garage door! She totally could’ve gotten out of there, by the way. I can’t believe they did all of that j-just because Sidney’s m-mother was a homewrecker!”

Mondo looked confused. “Wait, back to the garage. How could she have gotten out?”

“Well, there was space for her to crawl through for sure. She was skinny enough, I think.” He whipped out his phone (a souped-up iPhone 3G with a clear, yet sturdy, green case and a bunny sticker over the Apple logo) and quickly typed on it. 

After a moment, Chihiro said, “Yeah! Apparently, they had to staple the actress to the gate because she could fit through the doggie door.”

Mondo stared at Chihiro. ”Real shit? Imagine that they gotta film, but they don’t got no staples.”

“Then they get an unpaid intern and force him to go to Office Depot for a stapler at 3 in the morning . . . yikes . . . that was a joke, but n-now I feel bad for that intern . . .”

Mondo chuckled a bit. “We should watch the sequel later!”

“Yeah!”

**BZZT**

A ping rang from Chihiro’s phone and he glanced down at it, furiously typing once again. 

“What’s up, Chi?”

“G-Group chat! Leon wishes to discuss plans!” Mondo sighed and pulled out his own phone. 

After texting for quite a bit, Chihiro giggled. 

“Hehe . . . Mindi,” he lightly said. Mondo decided to whack him on the head with the throw pillow in response. 

“My name ain’t Mindi!”

☯︎︎

Chihiro clapped his hands. It was currently 3:23. He held a large spoon up to his lips and started speaking. “Hello, and welcome to _Baking Show!_ Yes, that’s the name of the program! Very generic! Anyway, the master baker featured today is Mr. Mondo Oowada of the Crazy Diamonds! Mondo, who also goes by his title of Ultimate Biker Gang Leader, is a delinquent with a heart of gold! C’mon out, Mondo!”

Mondo stomped into the sun-lit kitchen with his jacket gone in place for a small, light purple apron. 

“Chi, I refuse to wear this. It’s literally yer size.”

Chihiro slumped. “Aw, man . . . but you’re the master baker!” Chihiro looked up and nodded, not wishing to force Mondo to do something he didn’t want to. “Okay. . . I won’t make you wear it! Hand it over, please!” 

Mondo’s face lightened. “Ah, Chi-Chi, relax! I’m jus’ messin’ with ya!” Though he would get roasted if anybody from his gang were here to see it, he actually liked the apron. Mondo twirled and struck a pose. “It’s pretty alright! Goes with my outfit ‘n junk!”

“Really?”

“Yep!”

Chihiro beamed at him. “Teehee . . . I’m glad! I thought you were mad at me!” Chihiro beckoned Mondo further into the kitchen. The ingredients needed to make cream cheese frosting were waiting for them. 

“Okay, Chi, pull up the recipe fer the frostin’!” Mondo said. Suddenly, the television lit up a bright green color, and Chihiro’s face was shown. 

“𝙽𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞! 𝙸’𝚖 𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚘 𝙵𝚞𝚓𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚔𝚒! 𝙻𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚙 ‘𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚙𝚎’ 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠!”

Mondo jumped a bit, clearly startled. He glanced into the living room and saw that Alter Ego had illuminated the TV. 

Chihiro giggled. His laughter wasn’t because Mondo was confused, it was more so out of bashfulness. “U-uh, anytime somebody asks me a question where the answer is available online, Alter Ego will take care of it b-by popping up out of a nearby piece of technology. O-Of course, it only works if Alter Ego is hooked up to the WiFi network of the area.”

“That’s super impressive, Chi!” Mondo scrubbed at Chihiro’s hair. He was so small that Mondo’s hand completely covered his head. 

“𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘, 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛! 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢! 𝚆𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎?”

“Yes, please! And, Alter Ego, you can remain inactive for an hour or two! Mondo and I got this covered!” As Chihiro finished that statement, his phone pinged. The petite boy clicked on the link sent to him. 

“𝙶𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚢𝚎, 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚘!” With that, the television turned black. 

Chihiro’s eyes skimmed over the article. It was titled, “BEST WAY TO MAKE CREAM CHEESE FROSTING—YOU WON’T BELIEVE YOUR EYES!!! 🥰✨”

Mondo looked over Chihiro’s shoulder. His nose crinkled as he read the title. “Sounds like click-bait.” he muttered, clearly unamused. “I wonder if it’ll even be good.”

Chihiro had to agree, though a small part of him was hopeful that the recipe would still be decent. After all, Alter Ego would have had to read all of the recipes in order to find a good one, so there must have been something in the article that caught his eye if this was the best one. 

Mondo looked at the recipe and measured the ingredients out accordingly. While he was doing that, Chihiro looked at the steps they’d have to take. 

“Let’s see here . . . put the cream cheese and the unsalted butter into a bowl.”

Mondo got the cheese and butter but ran into a slight problem. “What bowl?” 

“Ah, I knew I was forgetting something! Sorry!” Chihiro pranced over to a drawer underneath the oven and grabbed a fairly large stand whisk and the blue bowl attachment. He plopped that onto the counter. 

Mondo threw in the cream cheese and butter. “What’s up next, kid?”

“Um, it says to beat it until it’s creamy, well-combined, and lump-free.” Mondo placed the bowl under the whisker and popped the top in place. 

“Mondo, while you do that, I’m going to go get the vanilla, sugar, and salt.” Chihiro said. He turned away from Mondo and went to the cupboard. 

The pompadoured boy plugged in the whisker and stared at the settings. Was it supposed to be on high or low? He shrugged and put it on high; that way, it’d go faster. 

A minute later, Chihiro came back. “It looks good, Mondo! I got the stuff!” He chirped, putting the things he was cradling in his hands onto the counter. Mondo nodded and turned off the whisker. 

They poured the vanilla extract and salt into the bowl. Chihiro grabbed his “microphone” and began to stir it. Then, they grabbed the powdered sugar and put the whisker on low. It took forever, and Mondo was twitching from boredom. 

That was the first time. Apparently, the cream cheese Chihiro had grabbed was low-fat, which was a no-no. Luckily, the Fujisakis also had whole cream cheese, but they were running out of sugar. Not to mention, they had considerably less whole cream cheese as compared to the low-fat counterpart. 

. . . don’t ask why they have so much cream cheese on hand. Mr. Fujisaki heard about the baking plans and picked up all of the cream cheese he saw while shopping the other day, much to the chagrin of his wife. It seems he grabbed far too much of the wrong type. 

The second time trying to make the frosting, Mondo accidentally dropped the bowl of finished frosting. They spent a while wiping that up.

Mondo and Chihiro felt their phones ring at the same time. 

“Group chat!” They announced to each other. 

Chihiro read the messages. “Oh, Taka and Leon offered to get snacks!”

Mondo shot his fist into the air. “I want peanuts ‘n cotton candy ‘n I want ‘em now!”

☯︎︎  
  


Finally, the sugar was finished being incorporated into the frosting. It was the third attempt. Mondo took it out and Chihiro was bouncing on the balls of his toes. 

“That was easier than the other two times! Nicely done!” Chihiro said, smiling. Then he cocked his head. “I think the consistency is a bit off, though.” Mondo looked at it. At some point, he had stopped paying attention to how much sugar he poured into the whisker. As a consequence, it chunked up a bit. 

Mondo stuck his finger in it. Frowning, he roughly shoved it in his mouth. It tasted okay, if way too sweet, but Chihiro was right in his earlier statement. Looking at it, it’d be impossible to pipe, and it just wasn’t . . . right. 

“Hmm. . . is there any way to fix it? ‘M sorry fer messin’ it up.”

Chihiro had his phone out. The ringer was on, so little _clacks_ could be heard from the device. “Okay,” he said, “don’t worry about it, Mondo! There’s an easy way to fix it: add a splash of heavy cream or milk!”

Chihiro grabbed milk, two bowls, and a few bottles of food coloring. “Let’s split up the frosting and add the food coloring before we add the milk! Which colors?”

Mondo shoved his hands into the pockets of his apron and hummed. He wanted manly colors, since this would be a manly sleepover. 

“Manly colors . . .?”

Mondo’s cheeks grew a bit rosy. He didn’t mean to say that aloud. “Ah, yeah! Like, blue!” Chihiro nodded in agreement. 

“Ooh, orange!” Chihiro exclaimed. “Orange and blue are complementary, so when they’re next to each other, they look more vibrant!”

Mondo punched Chihiro’s shoulder playfully, and even though the latter didn’t want to mention it, it still hurt quite a bit. 

Mondo went to get another bowl and a hand-held whisk. They split the frosting evenly between both bowls and added the coloring. Mondo’s was orange and Chihiro’s was blue. 

Chihiro splashed in a little bit of milk. He was gentle and precise. Grinning, he handed it to Mondo and went to work lightly stirring it. 

Mondo took the milk with a small smile. He poured the milk (maybe a little too much) into the bowl. He slammed the bowl onto the whisker and clicked the whisk into place. He set it on high, and disaster struck. 

The milk mixed with the coloring and rest of the frosting and suddenly showered everything in reach with orange sugar-milk because it was way too liquidy. The whisking machine was vibrating super fast, possibly from strain. 

Mondo took off his apron, not wanting to get it more messy than it had to be and put it on the couch to guard it from spills (which defeats the purpose of an apron, but, whatever). 

Chihiro sputtered at having frosting thrown on his face. He walked towards the whisking machine. “M-Mondo, is everything okay?” he asked. 

Mondo frowned. “The fuckin’ milk decided to throw itself around fer . . . whatever dumbass reason!” He angrily gestured toward the machine. Chihiro looked at it. He stepped in front of the machine, trying to turn it off. 

“S-Sorry, Mondo! I should’ve t-told you this before we started, but the whisker should be on low!” His lip wobbled. “I’m really sorry!”

Mondo clapped a hand on Chihiro’s shoulder. “Man, ya gotta stop apologizin’ so much! Okay?”

“Right, s-sorry—” He facepalmed. “Anyway, let me j-just take this thing off.” He rested a hand on his bowl as he tapped the off button of the whisker. 

Nothing. 

He tapped harder. 

Nothing. 

He jabbed at it. 

Nothing. 

Slapped it. 

Nothing. 

Punched it (hurting his fingers a bit). 

Nothing. 

He bit his lip. It refused to turn off, and frosting was still getting everywhere. “Mondo! I’m having trouble—”

The whisk attachment flew off the machine and hit him squarely in the chest. Now, under normal circumstances, that would only cause him to stumble a little and develop a very small bruise on his chest. No big deal. 

However, when Chihiro stumbled, he slipped on some frosting underneath his foot. He lurched forward and his head roughly collided with the counter, causing him to crumple to the floor. The hand he put on his bowl brought the bowl over the side of the counter with him, covering Mondo and Chihiro with some additional blue frosting. The bowl then landed on Chihiro’s head, perfectly capturing his face. His hair was splayed out under it. It was a colorful, sugary mess. 

Mondo’s mouth flew open. _Is he dead?_ Mondo carefully took the bowl off of his friend’s face and inspected the damage. Chihiro’s eyes were shut tight and a nasty bruise splotched his forehead, but he seemed to be fine otherwise. 

The gangster turned to the whisker. He tried tapping the off button like Chihiro did previously, but it was stuck. Panicking, he kicked up a cloud of sugar. He coughed and accidentally knocked over the milk. 

Since it appears “fuck-up” was his middle name, it would appear that he never properly fixed the cap to the rest of the jug. All of the milk remaining flew out onto Chihiro’s shirt and the jug hit the poor kid right on his forehead. 

“Ah, really?! Fuck! Sorry, Chi!”

The bright side was that a shirt is, of course, washable. Plus, there’s more milk in the fridge. He just hoped the jug banging on Chihiro didn’t hurt too much.

Mondo ran to the electrical outlet. He almost slipped and fell just like Chihiro did in his haste. Loudly cussing and unplugging the mixer, Mondo let out a stormy sigh. _What a fuckin’ mess._ In that moment, he remembered that Chihiro, while not dead, was still injured and unconscious. 

Mondo rummaged through the freezer. He couldn’t find any ice, and the water in the trays was still . . . well, water. He did find a frost-bitten coconut popsicle, though, so he picked that up and placed it on Chihiro’s forehead. 

After a few minutes, Chihiro’s eyes fluttered open. He was staring at the ceiling and everything was blurry. Was the ceiling fan . . . melting? 

_“Are ya awake?”_ A voice asked, pulling him partially out of his haze. 

He blearily rubbed at his eyes and squinted. “Grandma? I don’t wanna g-go to school . . .”

_“What.”_

The programmer jolted up and winced. He saw Mondo kneeling over him with his head bowed. 

“Chi, I-I’m sorry ‘bout that! If I weren't such a dumb fuck, you wouldn’t have gotten wiped out by the whisker!”

Chihiro didn’t know what to say. _I’m not mad at him, not at all! Darn, I’ve never been the best with words! Uhhh . . ._

“Uhhh . . . it’s okay, Mondo! It w-was an accident; things happen!” Chihiro patted Mondo’s head. His hand was completely dwarfed by the biker’s pompadour alone. “I don’t want you to fret over that!” Chihiro meant every word he said, too. 

Mondo looked up. “Ya really are too forgivin’. . .” He muttered. He handed Chihiro the somewhat melted coconut popsicle. It was still wrapped. “Here. Eat this or somethin’. I’ll try ‘n tidy up your kitchen.”

Chihiro stood up. “Thank you, but I’m gonna put this to re-freeze, if y-you don’t mind.”

“Why the fuck would I mind?”

“A solid point,” Chihiro giggled. He put the ice pop away and cracked his knuckles, hoping to look menacing but failing. “Well, let’s get down to business!”

**Ding-dong**

**Bing-bong**

Mondo spared a glance over to the door. “Dammit! We look nuts, but whoever’s there gotta deal with that! I ain’t changing fer nobody!”

Chihiro started to approach the door, but Mondo shook his head. “Don’t go. I got it.”

Chihiro beamed at Mondo. “You’re a great friend, Mondo!”

Mondo responded by giving Chihiro a noogie (more gingerly than usual; he didn’t want to cause him any pain) and wiped the frosting that came off of Chihiro’s hair onto his pants. He went over to the door and roughly threw it open. 

“Mondo, hey, are you ‘kay?”

“Salutations, brother!”

Oh, it was Leon and bro. Mondo figured he must look exceptionally bad if _Leon_ was asking if he was okay. 

“Hey, guys.” He sleepily replied. He forced his eyes open and saw his two other friends looking worse than Chihiro and him. 

They were covered in (and smelled like) trash. They were scratched to hell and back.

“Whoa, what the fuck happened to y’all!? Ya look like ya died! Twice!”

Leon and Taka really did look like shit. Leon’s arm had a bad scratch on it and his shirt’s sleeve was torn. He had a few missing piercings, his facial hair clasp was nowhere to be seen, and he was trembling harder than Chihiro was after watching _Scream_. His sneakers had old tomatoes on them and he had huge bruises on his knees. 

Taka had yogurt on his face, shirt, and hair. His face had dried blood all over it. His lip was busted and his eyes were wide and blood-shot. It was a bit unnerving, seeing them look like that. 

However, much to Mondo’s shock, they loudly laughed and shoved a few bags into his hands. 

“It’s nothing, bro,” Taka said lightly. “We just went to get the groceries after hopping into what we thought was an ax-murderer’s cab!”

“Then I stole a scarf.” Leon produced the scarf from the pocket of his shorts, waving it around. “In order to escape the crowd of people at EON, Taka hopped onto a shopping cart and we stole that, too.”

Mondo looked over Taka’s shoulder and saw a slightly dented shopping cart laying on its side. 

“Leon almost ran over a child and a grown man!”

“Then some Mimaki bitch tried to stop us on the street corner by that pizza place.”

“We would’ve gotten run over by cars at an intersection, but I suggested we go to an alleyway.”

“In the alley, Taka and I wrestled a fat-ass cat that wanted to eat the garbage on our clothes.”

“We escaped the brutal brawl with the ferocious feline by wiping up the food and throwing it on the ground!”

“Then, a cop car chased after us!”

“I kept watch for Chihiro’s house . . .

“. . . and I had to toss us onto the driveway! Anyway, here we are!” Leon and Taka ended the abridged version of their shopping trip with jazz hands, where Mondo could see that Taka’s hands were riddled with deep claw marks and Leon was having trouble moving his injured arm. 

Mondo was a bit shocked. He wouldn’t put petty theft past Leon, but Taka? Taka could barely allow Leon to drink some gross juice on a dare, and now he was laughing about committing crimes?! _Which is totally unfair! Hangin’ with Chihiro is awesome ‘n all but_ I _wanna go on high-speed adventures!_

“What?! That sounds fun as fuck!” Mondo yelled. “Well, not the injury part. _That_ part sucks ass.” Mondo turned toward the interior of the house. “Chi, come over ‘ere and take a look at Taka ‘n Leon!”

Chihiro, who was crouched on the floor and wiping up some frosting, glanced up. He left his rag on the floor and walked over to the door. He slipped on some frosting on his way over but managed to keep his balance. Appearing by Mondo’s side, his eyes shot open at the sight of Leon and Taka. They . . . looked like garbage. 

“Heya, Chi-Chi!”

“Greetings, Chihiro!”

Chihiro had absolutely no clue how to respond. _Are they . . . okay?!_

“Are you two okay? Do you want to come in? You can wash up and stuff!” Oh, that reminded him. He and Mondo also had to get cleaned up. 

Taka and Leon looked like they wanted to walk inside, but sirens suddenly started to sound. All four boys whipped their heads in the direction of the sirens and saw a police car coming up from the street. 

Leon flinched while looking at it. “We’d love to, but we’re on the run from the police.”

_Ah, that makes sen—wait a second!_

Chihiro sluggishly blinked before raising his eyebrows. “You _what!?”_

Taka and Leon waved off Chihiro’s growing confusion and concern. “Tell ya later, gotta go!”

With that, they limped away and tried to turn their cart ( _why do they have a shopping cart?_ Chihiro asked himself) onto its wheels. Suddenly, however, a yellow car rolled up onto Chihiro’s driveway.

The window lowered itself down to reveal a blonde man in his twenties. Chihiro and Mondo watched him order Leon and Taka around, though they couldn’t make out exactly what was being said. 

The driver looked over to the boys standing on the porch. Not wanting to seem disrespectful, Chihiro mustered up a little smile and began to wave. Mondo followed suit with a firm nod. 

The driver then turned to Leon and Taka as they hopped in. Giving the bakers a piercing look, the man sped off. 

Chihiro frowned. “. . . d-did they just get kidnapped?” Chihiro made a mental note of how the driver looked just in case they’d have to file a missing person’s report. 

Mondo shrugged. “Ya know, Chi? I don’t have a fuckin’ clue.” He turned but paused mid-spin. He wiped some frosting off of Chihiro’s hair and gave Chihiro a bright grin. “Let’s go make cookies ‘n shit!”

Chihiro smiled as well and closed the door behind him. He went into the bathroom to get a look at his forehead. Ouch. He stayed in there for a while trying to get frosting out of his hair. 

He caught sight of Mondo texting somebody by the fridge when he left the bathroom. 

“What’s up?” he inquired. Mondo looked up and smiled. 

“‘M textin’ Leon. He ‘n bro weren’t kidnapped; that cabbie is jus’ takin’ them back to EON.” Mondo frowned. “He’s sayin’ that the cabbie said we look crazy! That bitch looks like David fuckin’ Bowie on crack, so he has no right to talk shit!”

Against his better judgement, Chihiro began to cackle. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day!” He said, wiping tears from his eyes. “Though, I don’t blame him for saying that. You said it yourself: we look nuts!”

Mondo’s disposition did a full 180 at Chihiro’s words. “Yeah, heh, ya ain’t wrong. Speakin’ of that, though . . .” he brushed a hand to point to the entirety of the room, “. . . let’s fix this shit.”

They finished cleaning up the kitchen and themselves as quickly as possible. It took a while, though, and Chihiro’s head was really hurting at this point.

Mondo was now wearing a black tracksuit with a white stripe running down the left leg. It was the one he usually wore to exercise with Chihiro. 

Chihiro put on a jade green short-sleeved sweatshirt and grey shorts. He and Mondo fist bumped. 

“Ready, Chi?”

“Y-yeah!”

They had to make chocolate chip and snickerdoodle cookies, due to popular demand. They resolved to do a bang-up job due to the earlier misadventure. They asked Alter Ego to pull up some promising recipes. Mondo went ahead and gathered the ingredients and Chihiro made sure that everything was measured. All they had to do was combine it and hope for the best. 

Suddenly, though, they heard the doorknob jiggling. Chihiro went to go see who it was as Mondo put the waffles in the freezer and gathered the materials needed to bake. He heard Chihiro talking to somebody before giving a pained yelp. Concerned for his short friend’s well-being, Mondo rushed over and groaned at what he saw. 

At the door was Hifumi and Hiro, also injured. They didn’t look as shitty as Taka and Leon, but they were obviously in pain. Both of them were winded and cowering. _What, did they fight somebody at an anime convention or somethin’? Nah, really, are they good?_

Hifumi’s nose was probably the source of most of the blood on his face. It was still leaking as Mondo looked at the large welt on his temple. 

Hiro seemed mostly unscathed, but upon further inspection, he had a nasty-looking elliptical wound that tore his coat sleeve. What could’ve caused it, Mondo didn’t _exactly_ know, but he had his suspicions. He got injured regularly, so he could normally tell how a wound cropped up. Caring for wounds, though, isn’t really his forte. 

They let Hifumi and Hiro in and they immediately fell over. Helping them up, Mondo and Chihiro led them into the bathroom. The first aid kit was open in the sink, as they used it on Mondo’s little scratch. 

Hifumi sat on the toilet and Hiro rested on the edge of the bathtub. Chihiro looked over their injuries. He saw that Hifumi’s nose probably endured some blunt trauma. He frowned looking at Hiro’s arm. He gently held it in his hands, taking note of the way Hiro scrunched his eyes. 

“H-Hey, Hiro,” the programmer asked, “how’d this even happen?”

Hiro looked thoughtful. After a moment, he shrugged. “I dunno. Hifumi and I ran out of the bank after dealing with this robber guy with a gun—”

“BANK ROBBER!?” Mondo screamed. 

“With a _gun?!”_ Chihiro squawked. “Are you two okay?!”

☯︎

After Hiro and Hifumi told them what happened, they watched an episode of _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ and engaged in small talk. Then, they went back to the kitchen.

The baking duo rubbed their hands. They were ready to make the best cookies to ever exist or die trying. 

“Alter Ego, please send me those recipes again! After that, stay offline for the rest of the day!’

“𝚁𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚛!” Alter Ego cried. Chihiro’s phone pinged again and Alter Ego vanished from the television. 

“Please preheat the oven to 375 Fahrenheit!” Chihiro said. 

Mondo pushed his sweatshirt sleeves up and went to the double-oven. He turned on the higher oven and grabbed a bowl while he was there. Mondo threw it onto the counter. 

“Chi, put some parchment paper on a bakin’ sheet!”

The programmer went and grabbed the baking paper. He pulled the cookie tray toward him and cut the paper to size. 

“Flour!” Mondo shouted. 

“B-baking soda!” Chihiro screeched. 

“BAKIN’ POWDER!”

“SALT!”

“AHH!” They screamed, pouring the dry ingredients into the bowl. 

Chihiro got the butter and sugar and stirred them until it formed a well-combined paste. Mondo beat the eggs with the vanilla extract in the butter/sugar bowl. They’d just barely have enough for the snickerdoodles, so was a good thing Taka and Leon had picked some up at EON. 

Chihiro took the wet ingredients and added them to the dry ingredients. Mondo grabbed the whisk and frantically stirred the contents until a dough was formed. The two started cheering as they tossed in the chocolate chips. Mondo chopped up a few walnuts: Taka, Byakuya, and Makoto wanted some in their cookies. 

“Boys, boys, boys!” they chanted. Finally, the chips were combined with the dough and the oven was beeping; it’s baking time. 

The “microphone” was used to make little dough balls. There were sixteen balls, so each boy would get two cookies. Chihiro added the walnuts to six of the balls. The dough was then placed on the baking tray. Grinning, Chihiro stepped onto his tip-toes to place it in. The chocolate chip cookies would be baking for nine minutes, so Mondo set a timer. Now it was time for the snickerdoodles. 

Mondo stomped over to the lower oven and put it to preheat for 350 Fahrenheit. The short boy put parchment paper on another baking sheet. 

Chihiro hurried to cream the butter, sugar, eggs, and the very last of the vanilla as Mondo grabbed the cream of tartar from the grocery bag. 

The delinquent stirred the cream of tartar, flour, baking soda, and salt into the cream that Chihiro prepared. Chihiro grabbed the cinnamon sugar and put it in a small bowl as Mondo finished up the dough. 

“What now, Chi-Chi?” Mondo asked. 

“We’ll make dough balls again and drop the balls into this bowl to coat them with cinnamon-sugar!”

With his trusty “microphone” in hand, Chihiro made the dough balls. He handed them to Mondo, who coated them in the cinnamon-sugar and dropped them onto the baking sheet. This recipe made twenty-four balls, so each boy could have three cookies. 

Chihiro crouched down to the lower oven and placed the sheet inside. It was his turn to set the timer, this time for nine minutes. 

He walked over to Mondo, who had cream cheese and butter in a bowl. 

“We’re making cream-cheese frosting again?” He asked, a bit wary. 

Mondo nodded. “I really wanna have this shit; it’s so fuckin’ good. Do me a favor ‘n grab the vanilla from the EON bag.” Chihiro gave Mondo a fleeting thumbs-up as he rummaged through the grocery bag. 

His hands closed around a small bottle, so he pulled it out and gave it to Mondo, who dropped some into the bowl. 

Mondo used the whisk to beat it. He added sugar and . . . 

“IT’S DONE, BRO!”

“YAY!”

“I WANNA TRY THIS SHIT!”

“YEAH!”

Mondo and Chihiro both stuck their pinkies into the bowl. They put their fingers into their mouths to taste it. Simultaneously, they recoiled and scrunched up their noses. 

“Ew, what the fuck did I just put in my mouth!?”

Chihiro pursed his lips. “This tastes like sadness, somehow, and . . . no, this tastes like . . . s-soy . . . sauce!” He leaned forward and looked closely at the bottle. He wasn’t expecting soy sauce to be in the bag, but he ended up grabbing that instead of the vanilla. 

Chihiro looked inside of the grocery bag. Sure enough, the actual vanilla extract was still in there. He felt like an idiot. 

“Oh,” he mumbled. “That’s because it _is_ soy sauce.” He turned and gave Mondo an apologetic look, but the way the latter was uncontrollably shaking and turning red made him freeze. 

“CHI, YOU GAVE ME MOTHERFUCKIN’ SOY SAUCE!? YOU HAD ONE JOB, FER CHRIST’S SAKE! HOW THE HELL DIDJA EVEN MANAGE TO DO THAT!?”

Chihiro opened his mouth to apologize, but Mondo’s angry demeanor stopped him. The programmer instead flinched at the way Mondo spoke to him, which made the biker realize what he did. 

Chihiro hugged himself and cast his eyes down. “U-um, I’m r-really sorry!” Fat tears rolled down his cheeks as he hung his head and shrank away from his friend. 

Mondo looked at him. _Fuck,_ he thought, _my dumbass self jus’ made Chi cry. I promised him I’d control my temper and I failed miserably. I’m so . . . fuckin’_ weak _!_

Quiet sniffles broke him out of his self-loathing. Chihiro was throwing away the failed frosting a few yards away. He was attempting to hide his tiny sobs, but it didn’t work. 

“L-Listen, Mondo, I-I’m really s-sorry! I’ll make it up to y-you!” he said. His voice was thick with sadness. “S-So, uh, I’ll find a w-way to f-f-fix it . . . o-o-or something!”

Mondo sighed, prepared to apologize, and walked up to Chihiro. His face was wrenched up with regret and fondness. He crouched down and wrapped his bro into a hug. 

“Chihiro, it’s okay. I . . . shouldn’t ‘ave yelled at ya like that. I had no right to! Plus, my mess-ups were _way_ worse than yers was!”

“We w-were really c-close this time, so—”

Mondo shook his head, releasing Chihiro from the tight embrace. “It’s okay! It’s jus’ some fuckin’ frostin’. Yes, ya made a mistake, but I shouldn’t ‘ave gone off on ya! You were only tryna help, and I promised ya I’d keep my temper in check. So . . . let me apologize, p-please!”

Chihiro sniffled again, but he was smiling. “I-I guess we’re even!”

“Huh?”

The programmer rubbed his eyes with trembling fingers, laughing a little bit. “Well, the first mistake was mine, since I got the wrong cheese. The second was yours, as you dropped the frosting we made. The third was also yours, because of the whole whisking scenario. I messed up this time with the soy sauce, so we’re tied in mistakes!”

Mondo laughed as well. “Yeah, I guess we are! Question, though.”

“Ask away!”

“There isn’t anymore cream cheese. Should we try ta make some other kinda frostin’ or give it up all together?” Chihiro frowned. That was a good point that Mondo just made. Chihiro grabbed his phone just as Mondo’s began to start sounding. Oh, the alarm was going off. Now, where was his phone?

Mondo’s eyes widened as he realized what song was playing. The first verse was very soft, to the point where he and Chihiro could barely hear it, but the second verse began to blast at full volume. 

**♪ 2 to the 1 to the 1 to the 3 ♪**

Mondo froze. _Oh . . . my alarm is not fuckin’_ Shake That, _is it?_

**♪ I like good pussy and I like good tree ♪**

_Aw, fuck me._

**♪ Smoke so much weed, you wouldn’t believe ♪**

“WHERE IS MY PHONE!?” Mondo roared. He was frantically looking around the kitchen and family room in search of his phone. 

**♪ And I get more ass than a toilet seat ♪**

**♪ 3 to the 1 to the 1 to the 3 ♪**

Mondo’s attention was grabbed by his phone buzzing underneath a couch cushion. Bingo.

“STOP RINGIN’, YOU SON OF A BITCH!” he shouted, rushing over to his phone in a frenzy. 

**♪ I met a bad bitch last night in the D♪**

**♪ Let me tell you how I—♪**

Mondo reached for his phone and practically pounced on it to take off the song. His cheeks had the faintest dusting of pink as he looked over to Chihiro, who was on the floor crying. However, he wasn’t crying from being sad this time; he was just immensely amused by Mondo’s alarm freak-out. _I forgot I set that as my alarm. Fuck. How embarrassin’!_

“What even was _that_!?” Chihiro wheezed. He was having trouble breathing. 

“OH, WOULD YA LOOK AT THAT! THE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES ARE DONE BAKIN’!” was all Mondo could muster. Soon after, the snickerdoodles were also done. 

As Mondo slipped on oven mitts to get the cookies, Chihiro gasped. “We can make chocolate ganache!”

Mondo, after taking off the oven, walked over to Chihiro and looked at the recipe. “Chocolate ganache?”

Chihiro excitedly nodded. “Yeah! All we need is heavy cream and chocolate!” He regarded the recipe. “It says not to use chocolate chips, but I do have a few semi-sweet chocolate bars lying around, so that’s no biggie!”

Mondo smiled. “That sounds great! Let’s make the cupcakes first, yeah?”

They went back into baking mode. They preheated the oven, put light blue and white liners in a cupcake tin, and mixed together the dry ingredients. 

“Vegetable oil!” Mondo shrieked. 

“Sour cream!” Chihiro exclaimed. 

“Milk!”

“Melted butter!”

“EGG WHITES!”

“VANILLA!” Chihiro screeched, grabbing the soy sauce. He paused and trudged over to the grocery bag. He came back to Mondo’s side. Mondo took a minute to lift him by the armpits and set him onto the counter. 

“VANILLA!” They both said. They poured the wet mixture into the dry one and whisked them together until smooth. Mondo added the sprinkles because everybody wanted those in the cupcakes. Something about celebrating friendship or whatever . . . he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t falling asleep on himself when Makoto spoke to him last week. 

They poured the batter ⅔ of the way in the liners. There were sixteen cupcakes in all. 

“LET’S BAKE THAT SHIT FER EIGHTEEN MINUTES!”

“YAY!”

Shoving the tin into the oven, Mondo jogged back over to Chihiro. 

Mondo chopped the chocolate bars Chihiro handed him and put them in a heat-proof glass bowl. Chihiro hopped off the counter and went into the silver fridge in his kitchen. The kid grabbed some heavy cream. He poured it in a saucer and placed the saucer on the gas stove. He was about to turn the burner to start a fire, but his phone started talking to him. 

“𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘, 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛! 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚎!“ Chihiro nodded; it seems Alter Ego used Mondo’s suggestion from before they watched _Avatar_ to override his order. Smart. 

“Okay, then, Alter Ego! What’s up?”

“𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚌𝚊𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗! 𝙶𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚢𝚎!“

“Ah, a c-cat? Did Mrs. Ito’s cat get inside of my room?” Chihiro asked himself. He shrugged and turned to Mondo. “Sorry for leaving like this, but I need to go get the cat back outside!”

Mondo waved him off. “It’s fine . . . ‘M wonderin’ what I hafta do here, though.”

“Oh,” Chihiro began, “all you have to do is let the cream simmer and then pour it all over the chocolate. Don’t stir it for a few minutes. That’s pretty much it!” 

Chihiro ran up the stairs, softly saying, “Kitty, kitty! Out of my bedroom, please!” He clicked his tongue and slapped at his thighs to beckon it before briefly losing his footing on the stairs. Chihiro managed to stay upright by gripping onto the banister. Mondo smiled at his friend’s antics. 

Mondo looked back to the pot on the stove and scratched the back of his neck, a bit out of his element. _Simmer is jus’ a fancy word fer boil, right?_ Mondo took the saucer and twisted the burner to medium heat. He grabbed the vegetable oil and brought it to the stove, where the storage drawer was. Before he screwed on the cap, he decided to check on the vanilla cupcakes. 

They were rising well. Six more minutes and they’d be done. Mondo’s mouth watered as sweet smells floated from the oven. _Damn, this shit looks so good!_

Mondo saw Chihiro walk back into the kitchen and swing a right to the door. He was holding a white kitten with a pink collar. Chihiro went to the house next to his and gave the resident her pet back. 

“Sorry, Mrs. Ito, it seems that your cat got out again!” Chihiro said, lifting the tiny animal into his neighbor’s arms. She cradled the cat and wished Chihiro a nice day, which he returned. 

Chihiro smiled as he walked away. _Today was pretty great, overall. We hung out, cracked jokes, watched TV . . . a few mishaps, yes, but there’s nothing we can’t handle together! I can’t wait to see what happens next!_

Chihiro went back into his house and saw that the saucepan was bubbling like crazy. Mondo had his back turned to Chihiro, doing jerky dance moves while humming that alarm song from earlier. 

While one part of Chihiro wanted to dance as well, he realized he should probably address the cream that was _definitely_ overboiled. 

“Hi, Mondo . . .”

Mondo, still dancing, yelled out, “Hey, Chi! When am I supposed ta take this off the stove?” 

“Uh, you should’ve taken it off the stove when it was bubbling slightly.” Chihiro said, grimacing a bit. 

Mondo paused and furrowed his eyebrows, though Chihiro couldn’t see that. “Wait, no! I had ta bring it ta a boil, yeah?”

Chihiro walked just behind Mondo and patted his back. “N-No, a simmer is just below the boiling point.”

Mondo turned around quickly, causing something to topple over. “Ah, I’m real sorry—!”

“MONDOYOUJUSTKNOCKEDOILONTOTHEBURNER!” 

Mondo’s face morphed into confusion. _Yo, was he rappin’ just now?_ No, judging from the look on Chihiro’s face, probably not. 

“Huh?” He asked. “What did ya just—!”

Mondo was confused even further when Chihiro gripped onto his tracksuit and actually managed to yank him away from the stove. 

Mondo twisted his head and saw fire lapping up the side of the pot. While not by any means huge at that moment in time, it was quickly becoming larger. “ _Shit!”_

The biker saw Chihiro gaping at the fire. Before he could even attempt to help the situation at hand, _Chihiro_ decided to beat him to it and take charge. 

“A-ALTER EGO, COME ONLINE! PLEASE GIVE MONDO STEPS ON HOW TO PUT OUT A GREASE FIRE! I’M GOING TO GO GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER J-JUST IN CASE!” Chihiro commanded, making a mad dash to the garage. 

“𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘, 𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚘! 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚜!” Alter Ego cheerily said, popping up on the television. Due to the area of the house the family room was in and the angle of the TV, Alter Ego couldn’t see what was going on in the kitchen properly. 

Mondo scoffed. “It ain’t that bad, A.E.! I’ll jus’ go get some water ta—”

“𝙽𝚘! 𝚆𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚊 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚎!” Mondo dumped his cup of water down the sink with a dejected sigh. 

“𝙸𝚏 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎, 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚞𝚌𝚎𝚛!”

Mondo rushed to the stove but slipped on some vegetable oil. His hand got coated in the stuff. Mondo grunted. “Oh, c’mon! This oily shit’s all over my hands!” He shakily rose from his spot on the floor and went to the stove. 

“𝚀𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚜𝚘𝚊𝚙!” Alter Ego interjected. “𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔𝚢!”

Gruffly rolling his eyes, Mondo furiously pumped soap onto his hands and scrubbed them as Alter Ego told him to remember to clean under his fingernails. 

Meanwhile, Chihiro ran into the garage. The fire wasn’t too bad yet, but Mondo had spilled a lot of oil, so they had to act fast. Grease fires, he remembered from a safety seminar he attended online, are extremely fast-moving and volatile. 

Chihiro glanced to his left, where the extinguisher was encased in a white box with a glass panel. Chihiro grabbed a hammer from a tool box and attempted to smash the glass. It cracked slightly, but stayed firm. 

He pulled his arm back and glared at the panel. “O-Open up!” He demanded. The hammer came crashing down. This time, the glass formed a multitude of spider-web cracks. It was loosened, but the hammer flew from Chihiro grip onto the other side of the garage, narrowly missing Mondo’s bike. 

Chihiro stared at the glass. There were tears streaming down his face and his small lips were down turned. _If Mondo can’t stop the fire, my house is gonna burn down and he might_ **_die_ ** _. I need to get the extinguisher, but I can’t afford to run all the way over there and get the hammer._ He gritted his teeth and walked backwards.

Once he was a few steps away from the box, he spun to his side and pushed out his elbow. He hesitated slightly. _Come on, Chihiro! Now isn’t the time to be a weakling! This’ll hurt quite a bit . . ._ Chihiro began to run at full-speed at the box and braced himself for impact . . . _but I need to. . ._

“ . . . GET THAT EXTINGUISHER!” He screeched. His elbow drove into the weakest spot of the glass. Shards flew all over the place, so he screwed his eyes shut and covered them with his other hand. 

After a moment, he opened his eyes. He had some glass embedded in his elbow, but he was okay otherwise. He grabbed the extinguisher and ran to the kitchen. 

Mondo had managed to place the lid on the saucer. He had soot on his face and was violently coughing. 

“𝙶𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚓𝚘𝚋, 𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚘! 𝙸𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕, 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚎𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚋𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚍𝚊 𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚊𝚕𝚝 𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚝!”

Mondo shot up and grabbed at an object on the counter. Roaring, he tossed the contents on the fire in hopes of smothering it. Instead, it grew. 

“WHY THE SHIT DIDN’T IT GET SMALLER!?” He roared. He looked at the label. Oh, that explained it: he had poured baking powder on the fire instead of baking soda. _Wow,_ he deadpanned to himself, _I’m such a fuckin’ hypocrite._

Mondo jumped forward and turned off the burner. He rapidly looked for the baking soda but failed to locate it in his panic. The fire was continuously growing. 

Pausing, Mondo sniffed the air. It was still thick with smoke and gas, but there was something else. Something burning, yes, but it smelled different. Glancing up . . .

“FUCK, MY HAIR’S ON FIRE!” The gangster began slapping at his hair with a kitchen rag in an attempt to smother the flames. Once the fire on his head was out, Mondo felt the tip of his pomp. A decent two or three centimeters of hair was burned away. He’d have to trim it later, it seems. 

He slapped the counter in frustration. Suddenly, he looked over to the stove. _Ah, right. There’s another fire . . . Jesus Christ, this is the worst._

Chihiro suddenly slinked in. Mondo looked at him. He had glass in his elbow and was erratically breathing. 

“Alter Ego! Please a-appear on my phone!” Alter Ego did as told. Chihiro frantically flipped the camera so it was facing the stove. “Do you think t-that this fire is bad enough for me to use the e-extinguisher?” Alter Ego regarded the situation. 

“𝚈𝚎𝚜.” Was all Alter Ego had to say. Chihiro thanked him and set him on the counter face up. 

Chihiro turned to Mondo. “P-Please open up as many windows as you can!”

“Hell naw, I can’t leave ya in the kitchen with a fuckin’ fire!” He shook his head, causing his pompadour to violently wiggle. Under normal circumstances, they’d both start laughing like idiots. “Gimme the extinguisher!”

“Mondo, I told you to go!” Even though his tone was only slightly above his normal speaking voice, the force carried behind Chihiro’s words inclined Mondo to follow the order. 

Mondo dumbly nodded and made his way out of the kitchen, taking the oven off as he left. Chihiro steeled his nerves and stared at the fire. Mondo had succeeded in keeping it at bay somewhat, though it would quickly escalate if action wasn’t taken. 

Chihiro sprayed the fire. It went out fairly quickly, leaving some white powder in its wake. The stove, counter, and wall had some scorch marks, but they were lucky enough to not have completely burned something. 

Chihiro went to the sink and ran some water. He dampened the opening of his shirt and covered his nose; the inhalation of extinguisher powder and smoke is potentially dangerous. He’d have to tell Mondo to do the same. 

He walked over to Mondo, who had finished opening the windows. Mondo wasn’t hurt, thank goodness, but he could’ve been. Chihiro felt that it was selfish of him to leave Mondo in the kitchen while he was acquiring the extinguisher. Before he knew it, he was mewling. 

Mondo, who didn’t notice Chihiro next to him, was a bit startled as he peered down at his friend. Chihiro‘s nose was cherry red and hot tears were pouring from his eyes. “Ay, Chi, are ya okay?”

“I-I should be the one a-asking you that,” Chihiro feebly replied. “I a-abandoned you in the k-kitchen to get the e-extinguisher. I s-should’ve been the one to risk m-m-my life, but I didn’t.” 

Mondo was completely taken aback. “Kid—“

“I-It’s because I’m w-weak!” Chihiro interrupted. Mondo didn’t know how to respond. Chihiro was the strongest person he knew. Hearing him say that . . . Mondo knew Chihiro had an inferiority complex, but he didn’t think it was this bad. 

Mondo crouched and stared Chihiro in the eyes. “Please tell me ya don’t actually think that.”

Silence. 

Mondo sighed and hung his head. “Kiddo, I’m not the best at puttin’ my thoughts into words, and I’m ‘bout as good at comfortin’ people as a frog is, but yer a real strong guy! If it weren’t fer ya takin’ charge and havin’ AE help me out, we would’ve been fucked! I think ya made the right choice, is what I’m tryna say. Plus, ya wouldn’t have been put in a position like that if I knew what _words_ meant!”

Chihiro’s tears stopped, but his face was full of regret when he spoke again. “You know I don’t blame you for this, right? Sure, you made a mistake, but you’re a good guy and a _strong_ guy and I know you didn’t do it on purpose. You’re b-better than you give yourself credit for!”

Mondo’s mind paused at that comment. _Strong . . . good. There he goes again._

“Chi,” Mondo said, “if you can’t find it in yer heart to blame me, I’ll be damned if I let ya blame yerself. Got that?” Chihiro shyly nodded, smiling a little bit. Mondo grinned and, noticing that Chihiro was covering his nose, did the same. Too little, too late: they both started coughing. 

“Contrary to what y-you may think, Mondo, you’re really good at making people feel better!” Chihiro said, beaming. His face became worried soon after, and he began to sweat. “Now, we should clean this up before Dad gets home.”

**Ding-dong**

**Bing-bong**

Mondo grew pallid. “Oh, shit! We’re done fer!”

Chihiro had a similar reaction as he went rigid. “Is that him?!”

The biker and programmer slunk toward the door, trying to be quiet. Mondo looked through the peephole and saw Byakuya and Makoto looking like they meant business. 

After filling the luckster and heir in on their little situation (in which Byakuya and Makoto were dumbfounded on how they could mess up that badly _twice_ and have a good deal of minor mishaps, despite what the former said in the group chat) they were reminded to go inside and clean up. 

Saying goodbye, they closed the door and groaned, looking around at the mess. The safety seminar said that grease fires were infamous for being difficult to clean up, so neither of the boys were looking forward to it. 

Chihiro glanced up and smiled at Mondo. At least they’d be facing it together. 

☯︎︎

The boys spent the next two hours (two _long, long_ hours) fixing their mess. Mondo took the cupcakes out of the oven, and they were miraculously not burned. They had Alter Ego look up how to properly clean up extinguisher foam (to avoid chemical contamination), how to get rid of soot markings (on a plethora of surfaces), and how to get rid of the smell of smoke (for obvious reasons). 

Mondo patched up Chihiro’s elbow wound (“That took some serious guts, kid!”) and they showered yet again. 

They changed into their pyjamas, as it was getting late. Mondo was wearing black boxers and a periwinkle T-shirt and Chihiro was wearing a soft-looking white pyjama shirt with a little bow and lime green shorts. They managed to make the ganache (Mondo watched over the saucer once more now that he knew what _simmer_ meant) and tasted it. 

“THIS IS SHIT REALLY GOOD!” Mondo screamed, pumping his fist in the air. 

“MMHMM!” Chihiro agreed, beaming up at Mondo. 

Mondo and Chihiro high fived. “BOYS, BOYS, BOYS!”

The kids put it in the fridge because they wanted it to set before frosting. They’d decorate for 1:00 tomorrow afternoon. 

They decided to put on _Scream 2_ and make popcorn. Chihiro was tapping his fingers on the microwave as _pops_ resonated around him. Ironically, despite making food for the majority of the afternoon, he had hardly eaten anything all day. 

Mondo was sitting on the couch. He was watching the nightly news that just finished up as Chihiro approached with a bowl of popcorn balanced in one hand. Mondo looked over to his friend with an odd expression. 

Mondo sighed. “Guess we ain’t tied anymore. With the mistakes, I mean.”

Chihiro frowned. “I guess we aren’t.” They were silent as Chihiro sat down and passed Mondo the popcorn. Mondo took a handful and passed it back. He started to chortle. Chihiro cautiously raised an eyebrow, resulting in Mondo wheezing and wildly waving his hands in the bowl's general direction. 

“Chi, ya didn’t tell me you were workin’ with the klowns!”

Chihiro began to heartily laugh as well. He shook with each breath he took, and that caused the popcorn to fly from his grasp and fall to the floor. Chihiro abruptly stopped and sighed, extremely forlorn. Seeing his friend look so downtrodden about _popcorn_ made Mondo laugh even harder. 

Chihiro stared at the spilled snack. “No, the tie is still there.”

☯︎︎

Taichi Fujisaki arrived home after a long day at work. He adjusted his suit and followed the twisted walkway up to his front door. He glanced at the little daisies growing in the yard. They looked wilted . . . or perhaps trampled. He’d have to remind Chihiro to water those tomorrow before he went over to his friend’s house.

_I still can’t believe Chi-Chi made friends!_ He thought, unlocking the door. _I’m so happy for him!_

He walked inside his house to hear two boys yelling at the top of their lungs.

“THAT OLD ASS, WRINKLY _BITCH_ KILLED MY BOY RANDY?! I THOUGHT IT WAS THAT MICKEY GUY!” Came the gravelly voice of one Mondo Oowada. “‘N WHY AIN’T SHE BLINKIN’!? WHAT KINDA DRUGS SHE ON?!”

“S-She’s so horrible! ‘You killed my son because he killed a ton of people with his crazy friend! Now you must pay!’ What is this?!” His son’s airy voice exclaimed. “Also, if she loved her son _that_ much, w-why’d she abandon him? Like, what was she doing the past year? Loving him from a distance?”

Mondo threw his hands into the air. He was red in the face. “EXACTLY! HER MOTIVE IS SHIT ON ICE!” Chihiro shrieked with laughter with Mondo following suit soon after. 

Taichi entered the kitchen and peered over at the boys. They were munching on popcorn and booing at a middle-aged woman on the screen. 

“Ugh,” Mondo said, “she’s actin’ like she was a good mother! Bro, her son was a weasely, coddled fuck!”

“Totally!” Chihiro agreed. “R-Randy was just saying what everybody was thinking and got m-murdered!”

Mondo cringed and started booing even louder. “Don’t even remind me of that. Shit’s painful . . .”

Chihiro teared up. “And we were so glad he was alive and kicking earlier.”

“Oh,” Mondo said, lip violently wobbling, “he was kickin’, alright. KICKIN’ THE FUCKIN’ BUCKET!”

‘ _Isn’t Mickey supposed to be dead?’_

**WHACK!**

Chihiro gasped as a young woman with a dark bob shattered glass on her attacker and ran behind a door. “Sidney is so smart! Distracting Mrs. Loomis like that so she could get away!” He tugged at Mondo’s shirt. “L-Look at her go!”

Mondo nodded and ruffled Chihiro’s hair. “Fer sure, Chi! Sidney is a fuckin’ badass!”

Taichi, who was too busy smiling at the scene playing in front of him to pay attention to his surroundings, tripped and fell behind the kitchen island. 

From their place on the couch, Mondo and Chihiro froze. Mondo paused the movie and they averted their attention to the kitchen. 

“W-What was that?” Chihiro nervously asked. 

Mondo was going to say something about karaoke demons, but he saw Taichi walk in. “Oh, it’s yer pops,” he said. 

Chihiro and Mondo greeted the man. Taichi said hello and sat down with a small sigh. Looking at the kids closely, Tachi saw that Mondo’s hair looked a bit shorter than usual. Chihiro had a large plaster on his forehead and his elbow was sloppily wrapped up with a bandage.

“What happened to you two?” Taichi asked. Mondo and Chihiro gave each other grave looks.

“Baking incident!” they replied in unison.

They talked more with Taichi as the movie played. By the end of the movie, all three of them had some thoughts. 

“W-well, I don’t think it was as good as the first, but it was pretty okay!” Chihiro chirped. He was scared, though not nearly as much after watching the first movie. Perhaps he was getting desensitized. 

“Okay, but why’d they kill off _Randy?_ He should’ve known not ta go away from all the people on campus! Shit made no sense!” Mondo complained. He was still very hurt from the loss of his favorite. “Dumb fuckin’ whore killing my guy like that . . .”

Taichi frowned. “I’m just wondering how the police officer the reporter was hanging around survived. He was soaked in b-blood.”

Chihiro nodded. “Exactly! The same thing happened in the first! Now, I don’t wish for anybody to die in these movies, but he literally should be d-dead. Oh, and good point with the people on campus, Mondo! Randy would never leave a crowd and corner himself. In fact, his death was k-kinda contrived, change my mind.”

“Chi, I can’t ‘n ya know that.”

“I-I don’t know who Randy is—” Taichi attempted to say. 

Mondo banged his fist against the arm of the couch, causing Chihiro and Taichi to jump. However, the biker gang leader began to tear up, so he hung his head to hide his face. “Randy was a legend!” Chihiro rubbed his back. 

Taichi smiled. “Well, I never got to see him, but he sounds like a good character!”

Chihiro’s eyes lit up. “Dad, do you want to watch the first with me and Mom after the break? Sorry you were spoiled on the killers and some of the deaths for this one, though . . .”

Taichi smiled again, this time with more genuine emotion. “I’d love to!”

Another conversation passed and Chihiro excused himself to the bathroom. Mondo felt Taichi staring at him. “Yer doin’ it again,” he mumbled.

“Eh?”

Shit, he had to stop saying his thoughts out loud! “. . . yer givin’ me that disapprovin’ look.” Mondo shifted in his seat to look at Chihiro’s father. “I know I’m a real bad influence, so I understand why.” Taichi blinked and pushed up his glasses.

“Mondo,” Taichi started, “Chihiro was bullied a lot before coming to Hope’s Peak. At Hope's Peak, he made friends who accept him and love him for who he is. You support him and he supports you, and you both get along swimmingly with each other. You both obviously care deeply for one another, and you two may make mistakes, but that’s okay! You’re children and you’re only human!”

The biker awkwardly maintained eye contact with Taichi. The man had to summon the courage to continue instead of letting it go. Mr. Fujisaki often thought of himself as unreliable. His wife certainly believed so. However, he didn’t want to let Mondo _or_ Chihiro down. 

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable with my staring. Honestly, heh, I didn’t realize I was doing that! Sorry.”

“Ey, don’t sweat it, Mr. Fujisaki.”

Taichi smiled. “However, my staring isn’t out of malice; it’s respect and gratitude. You may think you’re a bad influence, but you helped my son become more confident in himself. So, sure, you may be a biker gang leader, but I _know_ that you’re a good kid, and he knows that even more than I do. Do you understand that?”

Mondo was shocked. That was extremely similar to what Chihiro told him quite some time ago. He didn’t really believe it at the time, but now, hearing it from the man himself, he sorta did. 

He had a hair-trigger temper and was quick to get violent, and Chihiro was easily flustered and physically weak. However, Mondo realized that they work together to improve upon their flaws.

He thought about his friendship with Chihiro. They both helped each other through tough times. He thought about how he had helped Chihiro tell the truth to everybody. He remembered how Chihiro had consoled him about the death of Daiya.

Mondo thought of all of the times his temper got the better of him and all the mistakes they made today. Despite messing up _greatly,_ they were still Mondo and Chihiro. They were close friends, and nothing the world threw their way could change that. Mondo smiled and fixed the ponytail he threw his hair into. 

“Yeah . . .” Mondo replied, staring at the textured ceiling. “ . . . after all this time . . . I think I see it.”

  
  


Chapter 2 Part 3 - _Cupcake Wars with Mondo and Chihiro!_

**END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tag yourself! I’m ᗪᗩᐯIᗪ ᖴᑌᑕKIᑎ’ ᗷOᗯIᗴ Oᑎ ᑕᖇᗩᑕK.
> 
> Anyway, sorry if this part dragged on too much! Since it takes place over a much longer time frame than the other one, I wanted to show that by writing more. Also, I won’t lie, I just really liked writing for Mondo and Chihiro since they’re my favorites. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I certainly enjoyed writing this! Please have a nice day!


	5. (4/6) Hi&Hi’s Bizarre Trip Planning!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hifumi and Hiro try to redeem themselves in the eyes of their classmates by doing their jobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! The good news is that chapter 2 is almost done with, thank God. The bad news is that part 5 needs some serious revisions, so the updates will be slowing down once more. Thanks for all of the love for the previous chapters, by the way! I didn’t respond to all of the comments because I didn’t want to come off as overly excitable, but I read them all and smiled so much! 
> 
> Also, warning, shit kinds gets real near the ending of the part. Bank robberies do be like that, ya know?
> 
> Anyway, without further ado, please enjoy Chapter 2 Part 4 of Boys’ Nights Out!

⚣

Chapter 2 Part 4 - _Hi &Hi’s Bizarre Trip Planning!_

  
  


Hifumi sat cross-legged on his bed after Mr. Hirabayashi let everybody out of class, feeling a bit guilty. He supposed that, in his excitement about the anime convention, he didn’t think of the others’ feelings. Not to mention, his job was to come up with places to go, plural. 

Hifumi grunted and grabbed his drawing tablet. Perhaps working on a commision would lighten his mood. 

He picked up the pen and opened up to his latest work: it was a half-finished artwork depicting a determined Sailor Moon and an enigmatic Tuxedo Mask rushing at an unknown enemy. As much bad-rap as he gets for being perverted and drawing some . . . questionable things, nobody could deny the fact that the man was at Hope’s Peak for a reason. 

Every color and stroke told a story. Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask had very telling facial expressions that show just how important it is to defeat whoever it was they were going after. Hifumi’s art style is very soft, yet confident, so it translates very well into casual poses, terrifying fight scenes, and heroic endeavors. The cartoony quality of it certainly didn’t make it any less breathtaking. 

The color scheme was cold and the restless pursuit of justice evident on the heroes’ faces and poses radiated a sense of urgency. Everything about it just looked . . . beautifully organic. 

Hifumi had just about finished the coloring process (the effect used gave it a washed watercolor look) when his cell phone (a Samsung Omnia HD protected with a light pink _Demon Angel☆Pretty Pudgy Princess_ phone case) began to buzz next to him. Hifumi paused before resting his pen on his thigh and opening up the notifications to the group chat. 

He flushed with a bit of shame upon reading the message about planning Leon sent out. Now I really feel bad, he thought, tugging at his sideburns bashfully. 

After texting for a while (and getting angry over his classmates bashing in the masterpieces that are EON brand potato chips), Hifumi let out an elated squeal. He sounded like a piglet that inhaled a whole canister of helium, _that’s_ how happy he was. 

**“AHA! IT SEEMS THAT MR. HAGAKURE COULD NOT RESIST _JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE!_ THIS IS A WIN FOR THE OTAKU NATION!”**

➟

Hifumi pulled up Skype on his laptop and prepared to call Yasuhiro. He ran his stubby fingers over the surface of his cluttered desk in search of strawberry Pocky. He picked up one of the cookies and absent-mindedly munched on it as he finally rang up Hiro’s username, _not2dayilluminati._

Almost immediately, Hiro picked up. Hifumi knew his own room (specifically his work desk) was untidy, but Hiro’s room looked like a very small, yet powerful, tornado rushed past and demolished everything. Tarot cards were everywhere, and Hiro had quite a few incense burners lying around. There was an eerie glass ball on Hiro’s unmade bed, and baggy clothing hanging off of every available surface. Hifumi had to wonder: is this man a psychic or a psycho?

Said ~~psycho~~ psychic was twirling one of his dreadlocks in his spindly fingers, lazily grinning into the monitor. 

“Hey, ‘Fumi, what’s popping?” The shaman asked, rolling his shoulders. Hifumi clasped his fingers together. His glasses were glinting from the computer’s light (though Hifumi liked to imagine it was because he was the smart and menacing character of an anime). 

“Mr. Hagakure, you said you read _JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure,_ correct?” 

Hiro laughed. “Heh, yeah. You’re cutting to the chase, huh?”

Hifumi grinned. “Indeed! I am glad you took my advice, Mr. Hagakure! What are your thoughts?” Hiro hummed, looking off to the side. He seemed lost in thought. 

There was a thick silence for a good four minutes until Hiro spoke again. 

“I hate reading, but this was lit, so it was worth it in the end. _Diamond is Unbreakable_ is the best part and Josuke is the best JoJo,” Hiro said plainly. Hifumi gaped at his computer screen. 

“I mean, Diamond is Unbreakable was good, but what about Stardust Crusaders? That part was iconic and was, like, the end of the original trilogy! An unforgettable classic, it was!” 

Hiro shrugged. “Maybe I have a crappy opinion, but the _Stardust Crusaders_ cast felt, I don’t know, underdeveloped? Like, if your name isn’t Joseph, Jotaro, or Polnareff, eff off, because you aren’t important.” The clairvoyant scowled. “And that dog was annoying.”

Hifumi sighed. “I understand that, believe me! Though, the Star Platinum versus The World fight was masterful!”

Hiro nodded with vigor. “Oh, yeah!” He furrowed his brows and tugged off his jacket. “Though, was it hinted at all that Star Platinum could, uhhh—” Hiro paused, trying to figure out how to word it. When no words came to mind, he pointed at the clock in frame “—do that?”

Hifumi cocked his head, a bit confused. Suddenly, he pounded a fist onto his desk in realization. “Oh, you’re referring to the time stop ability!” Hiro nodded, smiling widely. 

“To be fair, Jotaro never had an established Stand ability, and he only figured out he could time stop during that fight. Plus, Mr. Araki stated that Star Platinum and The World were the first two Stands he created, so it was probably the plan from the get-go!” Hifumi ended his little explanation with a well-timed Pocky bite.

Hiro nodded. “Ah, okay then. I totally get that.” That was a lie. “So, overall, I liked _Stardust_ , but it’s probably my least favorite after _Stone Ocean_. Like, I have a real bad attention span and stuff, so the fights were engaging, and Jotaro is the baddest dude to ever bad, but it felt a bit dull. The art style, in my opinion, also looked the most wack. It had everybody looking like they were holding frogs in their mouths.”

Hifumi rubbed at his chin in thought. “I see . . . so, why do you like _Diamond is Unbreakable,_ then?”

“Josuke is a bro who wants to hang out with his bros and avenge his bro’s death!” Hiro said, his eyes lighting up. “What is there not to like? Also, the Stands are really cool. And I like how he’s constantly trying to get money. I can relate.”

Hifumi nodded. “Would you like to talk about any other parts? There is a pretty split opinion on _Phantom Blood_ , I believe!”

The fortune-teller once again remained silent. After a moment, he shook his head. “Nope, not really.”

Hifumi bit back his disappointment with a slow nod. He supposed that was fair. 

Hiro scratched his back by doing a maneuver only somebody with a good deal of flexibility could pull off. The man looked like a Stretch Armstrong toy. 

There was yet another silent moment. Then . . .

“This was a lame convo, Hifumi.”

“That’s because you had almost nothing to say!” Hifumi reminded him. 

Hiro snorted. “Yeah, sorry. So, bye, I guess . . .?”

Hifumi jolted slightly in his seat. “Uh, wait a moment, Mr. Hagakure!” Hiro stopped in his tracks. “I wish to discuss some plans for the sleepover with you . . . like we were supposed to!”

The swindler frowned. “Well, why? We got the anime convention. It’s not our fault they didn’t like it!” Hiro scritched at his rough stubble. “And, I mean, we came up with some in the group chat. I don’t see the point!”

Hifumi gazed down, a bit ashamed. “Yes, the anime convention was on that ‘list,’” he said, “but what is this ‘we’? You didn’t do anything!”

Hifumi clasped his hands together, trying to get Hiro to see the metaphorical light. “Mr. Hagakure, I realized that even though the others came up with some in the group chat, we should come up with our own! It simply was unfair to the others who are doing their jobs as we speak!”

Hiro felt a semblance of remorse. Yeah, there’s no denying it; he hadn’t done anything (if you don’t count making sure Hifumi’s handwriting was legible, which he did . . . to an extent). His job was to come up with things to do while at the sleepover, and he didn’t even help out. Hiro straightened up and looked uncharacteristically serious as he bore into Hifumi’s video. 

“You’re right . . . sorry, man. How about we hang up here and walk around town? To get inspired or whatever?”

Hifumi grew a large smile that made him look like a chipmunk. He was surprised, but ecstatic. “ **Sure thing!** ” He triumphantly shrieked. 

“Ah, keep it down!”

“My apologies, Mr. Hagakure!”

➟

Hifumi was ready to go on the trip with Hiro after twenty minutes. He was still in his uniform white button-up with his tie, but changed out of the brown jacket and put on khaki shorts in the place of the trousers. He fixed his little . . . hair point . . . thing . . . with some gel. He winked at his reflection and left the dorm. 

Hifumi walked down the stairs, grinning to himself. He added the finishing touches to the fanart and sent to the client before dressing. The client adored it, and Hifumi glowed with pride. He made fanworks to make himself and others happy, and he constantly succeeded in that regard. 

The fanfic creator finally made it to the lobby. He pushed open the doors and strode forward. Immediately upon entering, he was grabbed by the wrist and forced out of the school. Now, if he weren’t caught off guard, he could probably put up a fight. However, he was already by the bus stop outside when he finally realized what was going on. 

_“HELP ME! I’M BEING KIDNAPPED! AN UPSTANDING, YOUNG CITIZEN LIKE MYSELF IS BEING TAKEN AWAY TO AN UNKNOWN LOCATION!”_

Hifumi took a moment to curse his slow reaction time. Who knows where this creep is gonna take him?

He looked up and saw a strange grown man sighing and tugging him along. Instead of getting even more scared, Hifumi actually let out a relieved sigh. “Oh, Mr. Hagakure, it’s just you!”

Hiro finally let go of Hifumi’s wrist. He nervously glanced around and shrugged on his coat. Hiro was wearing a black coat over a thin white jacket. He was wearing baggy pants and flip-flops. 

“Eheh, sorry about that, ‘Fumi! I just saw that Kurzuyu kid in the lobby and got a bit nervous!”

Hifumi huffed. “The Yakuza heir?” Hiro nodded, still fearful in his movements. “Well, it was still rude to drag me off like that! A warning would have sufficed!”

Hiro chuckled. “Noted!” The two walked side by side on the search for ideas. 

After what felt like ages of walking, he saw a mailbox. _How about we become mailmen?_ Hiro thought. _Wait, what? Uh . . ._ he looked past the mailbox and saw a light blue house with hanging wisteria _. . . ooh, we can break into people’s homes!_

Hifumi stopped in his tracks. “What?”

“What?”

“Why would we break into people’s homes? I’m like an anime protagonist! I can’t do stuff like that!” Hifumi placed his hands on his hips and stared upwards, immediately bringing his head back down after the sun burned his eyes. 

Hiro laughed as he and Hifumi left the suburban area and walked toward a nearby park. “Well, villain protagonists are a thing! Plus, slice of life main characters always do iffy things, ya know?” 

Hifumi crossed his arms. “I think an anime I’d star in would be more than a mere slice of life! It’d be action/romance, 100%! What does this look like to you?” The boys, now in the park, took a seat on a rickety bench. They looked at the fluffy clouds among the blue of the sky. It was peaceful. 

Hiro started bouncing his leg. “Well, our lives aren’t really that exciting, besides the whole “Ultimate” thingy. We go to school, hang out, and now we’re going to have a sleepover. That’s, like, slice of life 101!”

Hifumi had to agree with that, as much pain as it gave him. Really, what could possibly happen during a trip to the store, baking, making a trip catalog, and doing whatever it was Makoto and Byakuya were up to? Hifumi was blasé about life at this point. 

Besides his crush on Alter Ego (which was part of the reason Leon and even Mondo, to an extent, held some animosity towards him) his life was boring. Hifumi needed something exciting to happen. Something fanfiction worthy! 

A nudge from Hiro jolted Hifumi from his thoughts on how lackluster life is. Hiro mimed scribbling on his palm. 

Oh, charades? “Drawing?”

A head shake. 

“Spaghetti?”

Head shake. 

“A child with sidewalk chalk?”

“Wha—No! ‘Fumi, are you even trying? This isn’t even that hard!”

Hifumi puffed his chest out and made an indignant noise. “Of course I’m trying! I was just thinking about other things is all!”

Hiro sighed and slumped over, resting his elbows on his knees. “Okay, why are we here?”

“Ah, the list!” Hifumi realized. 

“We can, I dunno, go to the park? Picnic? Basketball? Volleyball? Picking flowers?”

Hifumi reached into the deep pockets of his shorts and grabbed a notepad and an orange mechanical pencil. He made a title and prepared to jot down what Hiro suggested. 

  
  


**Places to Go!**

By: Hifumi Yamada and Yasuhiro Hagakure

  
  


Hiro frowned, pointing a finger at the pad before Hifumi could write anymore. “Hey, hey, hey! Why do you get to be credited before me? I’ll be doing, like, 30% of the work!” Hiro puffed out his cheeks. 

“You are aware that 30% is less than half, right?” Hifumi asked, causing Hiro to deflate. “I’ll yield, though!”

Hiro sighed. “No, don’t change the order. You have a point. How about we do a name mash-up?”

Hifumi chuckled. “That sounds like shipping, Mr. Hagakure!” Hiro gaped at Hifumi. 

“Naw, man, don’t be weird about it!” Hiro snapped his fingers and smiled. “In fact, the spirits and I predict that you’ll have a lovely significant other ** _that is not me_ **by time the school year ends!” That was a lie. 

“Really?” Hifumi asked. Unfortunately for the con-artist, Hifumi bought it. 

Scratching at his stubble, Hiro was wishing he didn’t say that. It was a childish way to deflect what, in hindsight, was just a joke. Hmm . . . how’s he gonna get out of this itty bitty predicament?

Against his better judgement (which still isn’t very good), he decided to double down. “Umm, yeah! The odds of it happening are 70 to 30; while not the best, I’m sure there’s somebody you have your eyes on that’ll return your affections!” 

What Hiro happened to forget is that Hifumi’s love interests lie solely in the 2-dimensional world. 

Hifumi blushed. “You mean . . . _Alter Ego?”_ He began to fidget in his seat and his blush grew until he looked like a tomato wearing glasses. Hiro looked at him with confusion, guilt, and slight disgust. 

Hiro eyes shot open when he recognized that name. _Does . . . does he mean Chi-Chi’s AI? I—ya know what? N-Never mind, I don’t think I wanna know._

The clairvoyant decided to shrug his discomfort off. “Eh, why not? Now, for the mashup, uh, how about . . . Yasumi?” Hifumi cringed. “So, no, then. Hirofumi, maybe? Uh . . . ooh, how about Hi&Hi? Like, uh, this is Hi&Hi‘s Bizarre . . . something . . . or other. I dunno.”

Hifumi twirled the pencil in his fingers and mulled over it. It had a nice ring to it, actually. Since Hifumi’s name and Yasuhiro’s nickname both started with “Hi,” one could argue that either of them came first, which made for a really good compromise. Plus . . . 

“ . . . Mr. Hagakure . . . was that a _JoJo_ reference?”

The guy in question laughed a bit. “Yep! And, stop with the Mr. Hagakure crap, just call me Hiro!”

**_A win for the otaku nation_** , Hifumi thought, smiling deviously to himself. 

“I’ll ignore what you just said.”

Hifumi blushed again, out of embarrassment this time, and erased lines on the page with his worn out eraser. Clicking to pencil a couple of times to get the graphite back in place, Hifumi edited the page. After writing the first item, Hifumi smiled and added a second part to poke a bit of fun at himself. 

  
  


**Hi &Hi’s Bizarre Trip Planning!**

_(Places to go during Mr. Togami’s sleepover)_

  1. The park (volleyball, soccer, picnic, flower picking)

  2. aNiMe CoNvEnTiOn




  
  


Hiro guffawed and jovially smacked Hifumi on the back. They looked around more. Suddenly Hiro jumped a bit and pointed at the sky. 

“Birds! Something about birds!” Was all he said, like that was supposed to make any sense whatsoever. 

_Birds? What in the world does that mean?_ “Do you mean birdwatching? Skydiving?” Hifumi asked. 

Hiro shook his head and a few of his dreadlocks slapped Hifumi in the face. Failing to notice the annoyed look that was shot his way, Hiro said, “No, actually. First, I meant, _let’s become birds!_ Then I was like, _no, that makes no sense, let’s go birdwatching!_ Honestly, I didn’t think of it, but skydiving sounds cool!”

Hifumi nodded and added skydiving to the list, though the likelihood of that happening is very slim. He also added ‘birdwatching’ to the park activities after thinking about it. 

After hanging out and watching some cute little kids marvel at squirrels from a few yards away, they left the park. As much as Hifumi likes nature, he had to go; he has a pollen allergy and hadn’t taken any antihistamines prior. 

The boys walked around and suggested things that they thought of and saw on their journey. 

**Bowling!**

“Oh, I love bowling so much!” Hifumi cried when rounding in on the alley. 

Hiro laughed a bit. “I know it’s sorta weird to say this, seeing that it’s a pretty common thing to do, but I’ve never bowled before. I’ve always wanted to try it out!”

Hifumi gaped at him. “Really?”

“Heh, really. I take it you have, so . . .” Hiro suddenly latched onto Hifumi’s arm with a child-like squeal. “ISITFUN!? Ooh, it totally is, isn’t it!?”

A snort bubbled out of Hifumi’s mouth. “Oh, it’s definitely fun! In fact, would you like to hear something that’s very stupid? It’ll surely get a few chuckles out of you!”

“Do I ever!” Hiro walked over to a water fountain and pressed the button down. “Tell meh as Ah dwink mah watah,” he said, gurgling from the water filling his mouth. 

“Okay, so I was around nine. I was bowling with my older sister. She started striking left and right. It was very impressive!” Hifumi smiled, knowing what was to come next. “Obviously, Fujiko—”

Hiro raised his head from the fountain and gulped down his mouthful. “Who’s that?”

“Oh, that’s my sister’s name! Anyway, Fujiko was winning and I was not happy about it. I pulled up my pants and screeched, **I’LL STRIKE THIS LIKE CAPTAIN FALCON PUNCHES HIS ENEMIES!”**

“Bold claim! Did ya live up to it?” At this point, Hiro was very invested. 

Hifumi laughed. “Ah, that’s coming up now! So, I made a mad dash to the lane . . .”

Hiro leaned forward in anticipation. 

“. . . reeling his arm back, little Hifumi was ready to show his sister that he could be like her . . .”

“And?” Hiro asked, balancing on the balls of his toes. He was giggling a lot, which showed that he was attentively listening but it also served as some distracting background noise. 

Hifumi cleared his throat, bashful. He reached his arm out and patted the air around him in order to hush his audience of one. 

“. . . I ran so far forward, I slipped on the greased part of the lane, did a backflip in midair, and landed on my backside. The ball ended up hitting all of the pins except for one, somehow! It was a foul, but my sister was so impressed by my determination that she let me keep the points!”

Hiro let out a loud laugh. “Aw, man, were you okay!?”

Hifumi chortled as well. “I was, for the most part! However—” He clenched his fist and jaw “—both my tailbone and dignity were bruised that day! In fact, it was at this very alley! **THE LANE WILL RUE THE DAY IT EMBARRASSED ME!”**

That got another laughing fit out of both boys. However, the glare Hifumi sent the bowling alley showed that he wasn’t exactly kidding. 

**Getting ice cream.**

Hiro began to salivate like crazy. “I really want something sweet right about now . . . !”

The otaku nodded vigorously. “Indeed, Mr. Hagakure! Oh, what I wouldn’t give to eat some strawberry ice cream!”

“It’s the salted caramel flavor for me!” Hiro frowned. He went over to the chalkboard by the door and read the flavors listed. “Actually, I don’t think that this place has salted caramel. Uhhhh . . . ooh, I’ll just get vanilla bean and put soy sauce on it!”

Hifumi paused. “What?”

“What?”

“It’s just—that sounds gross!” 

Hiro shook his head. “No, it’s not gross! It sorta tastes like caramel!”

Hifumi looked completely unconvinced. “Does it?” he blandly said. 

Hiro huffed. “Yes, it does! Listen, if we go here with the others to get ice cream, you better promise that you’ll taste it! I swear, it can probably cure cancer or something! Total miracle worker!”

“Are you sure it doesn’t cure diabetes, Mr. Hagakure?” Hifumi joked, earning an “offended” yet amicable laugh from Hiro. 

“Nah, now that I know the difference between the two, I can say that it cures _cancer_.”

With a triumphant smile, Hifumi exclaimed, “ **Bold claim! Can you live up to it?** ”

Hiro frantically waved his arms. “GAH! Don’t you use my words against me, ‘Fumi!” He grinned wildly and started bouncing on his toes. “Okay, for serious, vanilla and soy sauce is pretty good. You are just tasteless.”

Hifumi crossed his arms as they walked away from the ice cream shop. 

Seeing that Hifumi was still reluctant to believe him, Hiro puffed out his cheeks and planted his feet firmly on the ground. “‘Fumi, ‘Fumi, _listen_! No, soy sauce on vanilla ice cream can’t actually cure anything physical, but it cures emotional injuries!”

“What do you mean by that, Mr. Hagakure?”

Hiro gave him a goofy little grin as he replied, “it makes me happy! I want it to make you happy, too, I guess!”

Hifumi paused. Hiro’s hand slowly snaked out of his pocket, thin fingers wiggling. It was then that he realized Hiro wanted a handshake.

“C’mon, Hifumi, I want you to try it!” Hiro pouted. “Pwease!”

While Hifumi was just about to suggest that Hiro just drizzle caramel sauce on his ice cream and add a pinch of salt, who could say no to such an earnest plea?

**Going to the library?**

Hiro shook his head as he heard Hifumi say that. “That’s super lame, ‘Fumi! Who would wanna go to the library when karaoke and laser tag are on the table?”

“There is nothing lame about being educated!” Hifumi screeched. “Plu-us, there’s nothing lame about erotica, either . . .”

Ah. That’s it: he wanted to stare at porn. Hiro had to hand it to him, though. He’s not ashamed in the slightest. 

**Having a séance!**

Hifumi frowned. “I thought you were afraid of ghosts? You even freaked out in the group chat earlier!”

Hiro gave him a lazy laugh. “Yeah, it was a joke. You can still add it, I guess.” The fortune-teller suddenly became jerky in his movements. “Don’t expect me to actually do it, though! I don’t need to get possessed or anything! I’m telling ya, that can't be good for my health!”

Hifumi snorted. “Let’s be honest here, you’ll sacrifice one of us if ghosts actually appear, probably Mr. Naegi or Mr. Fujisaki. That’s why you’re the lovable bum of the group!”

“Ouchie!”

**Going to the mall!**

Hiro seemed to approve. “Bro, mall pretzels are godly!”

Hifumi eagerly nodded in agreement before freezing and cocking his head. “What’s the catch?”

“Huh?”

“You heard me, Mr. Hagakure!”

“Yeah, I did! I just dunno what you mean!”

Hifumi chuckled as he and Hiro started walking on the pavement in a less populated area of the city. 

“Well, you seem to have the weirdest food preferences! I saw you put soda on a plate and dip chicken nuggets in it once!”

Hiro sassily placed his hands on his hips. “Oh, _reeeeaaaaally?_ This coming from the guy who dips his fries in chocolate milkshakes!” Watching Hifumi purse his lips at that, Hiro jabbed his pointer finger into Hifumi’s gut. “Yeah, that’s right, I’ve seen you during lunch!”

“That’s much more commonplace than the borderline inedible things I’ve seen you put in your mouth!” Hifumi said, positively fuming. Nudging Hiro’s bony finger off of him, he said, “Listen, I may be of the big eater comic-relief trope, but I’d rather eat too much than eat too little, especially when the little food you do eat is garbage!”

“. . . Are you kidding me right now!? I’ve seen you blow through 15 bags of potato chips in one sitting!”

“That’s because EON chips are delectable! I have no idea how you can eat . . . Ah, I don’t even know, hot dogs and marshmallows or something!”

“Ooh, that actually sounds pretty good!”

“HOW, MR. HAGAKURE, HOW!?”

“IT WAS A JOKE, DUDE!”

At this point, this tirade went from an actual argument to light-hearted teasing. Hiro said something about Hifumi eating enough in one day for a small village to live on for a month, while Hifumi responded by saying that Hiro eats like a personified garbage compactor. They started wheezing while throwing half-hearted insults at each other. 

After hearing something about how the food he eats can classify as a bioweapon, Hiro suddenly paused. 

“Hol up! What does this have to do with mall pretzels?”

“Huh?”

Hiro gave him a cheeky smirk and replied, “You heard me, Mr. Yamada!”

“GAH! Don’t use my words against me!” Hifumi exclaimed in an attempt to mimic Hiro. 

“Nah, bro, but for real. What does any of this have to do with the mall pretzels?”

Hifumi had to think about that for a moment. _Now it’s time for me to flashback and try to understand what he’s referring to . . ._

“Oh, right! I was saying that since your food preferences are abominable—”

Hiro mimed talking with his hand, a slightly annoyed expression on his face. 

“—I expected you to say that you love the pretzels with something totally left-field. Then again, that gag is getting old very fast, so maybe not.”

“Gag? Um, anyways, you’re right!” Hiro mischievously grinned and stuck out his thumb. “Wanna know what I put on them dope mall pretzels?”

Hifumi only nodded, apprehensive to see where Hiro was going with this. 

“Motor oil,” the shaman deadpanned. 

Hifumi paused, not sure whether or not that was a joke. 

Sending that his (fairly obvious) sarcasm flew over Hifumi’s head, Hiro shook his head and muttered, “Dude, I’m not a scientist or anything, but I’m pretty sure if I ate motor oil often enough to say that I love it with pretzels, I’d be dead.”

“Yes, how silly of me!” The otaku said, a bit embarrassed. 

“Seriously, though, I like mall pretzels plain. How about you?”

Hifumi’s cheeks turned warm as he muttered something that Hiro couldn’t quite hear. 

“Hm? Sorry, what was that?”

“Ah . . . um, I get the cinnamon sugar pretzels and put ketchup on them.”

Hiro paused. “Okay, so you have no right to get on my case anymore.”

“It was an accident!”

“Huh?”

Hifumi huffed. “Last year, I ordered a cinnamon sugar pretzel like always. I normally put some of the frosting on it, but I accidentally grabbed the ketchup.” He smiled. “It was actually a pretty happy accident!”

Hiro frowned. “So, all I’m getting from this is that you’re also a massive freakazoid and you have no reason to not try the soy sauce in vanilla ice cream.”

Hifumi couldn’t find a rebuttal. 

**Running over a rabbit!**

“What the heck, Mr. Hagakure?”

The Super High School Level Losers paused. They looked at the rabbit that a guy in a fairly nice car just plowed down. Not much could be seen under the car’s tire, but a splatter of blood and fur matted with red were visible. Feeling a bit sick, they gave horrified, yet sympathetic stares to the person in the car and continued on their way. 

The person who ran over the rabbit got out of the car. He was a short but sturdy man, probably not much older than Hiro, glaring at the high-schoolers. He had distinct coppery hair and very narrow green eyes. He was dressed head to toe in black and was holding a ski mask in his hands. 

“Hmm,” he muttered to himself, “those two just got a good look at my face.” He looked down at the rabbit and spat it at. _Well, no matter, he thought. They don’t seem to be the brightest, so it shouldn’t be a very big deal. I mean, my preparations will take a while, and I doubt they’ll still be in the area an hour from now. If they are, I’ll just kill them. No biggie!_

Softly smiling, he climbed back in the car and drove off. 

➟

The boys ambled along, skipping over cracks on the sidewalk (‘I _refuse_ to break my mother’s back!’ was their reasoning) and pointing out places of interest. 

Hiro turned to the plaza where EON is. “Yo, we can go shopping here!”

“Yeah, Mr. Hagakure! There’s an ice cream place here as well! They can go together! Oh, perhaps there’s a salted caramel flavor here!” Hifumi whipped out the pencil and wrote that down. Hiro gasped and took the list. Grinning, he pulled out a black pen and added another item. 

Hifumi read it. “Dumpster . . . diving?” He wrinkled his nose. 

Hiro held up his hands. “I know what you’re gonna say, but it really is fun! I have a feeling that Taka, ‘Koto, Chi-Chi, and Bya-Bya won’t be down for it, but Leon and Mondo might be! And if those two are down, then Chi-Chi and Taka will follow suit because those four are practically joined by the hips. Then, _badda bing, badda boom_ , the majority rules!” 

_. . . that is scarily smart of him to say._

Hifumi begrudgingly left the weird item on the list. They walked away and got texts from the group chat. They sat down at a nearby bus stop and pulled out their phones. 

“Hmm, snacks . . . oh, Mr. Naegi has a good idea! I would also like gummy worms!’

Hiro, who was trying to get his phone (a blackberry with a mystical looking crystal ball over a purple-blue gradient case) out of his deep pocket, smiled widely. “Snacks!? I love snacks! Plus, I don’t have to pay for ‘em!” He paused and manically grinned. “Ooh, candy sounds really good right now!”

The clairvoyant scrolled through the messages, prompting Hifumi to say, “Anything you’d like to have?”

“🧇” Hiro said in response. Hifumi looked at him curiously but decided not to mention whatever that was supposed to be. _Still, though . . . how did he do that with his mouth?_ The thought caused him to chuckle. He was quite amused. 

They said their goodbyes in the group chat after talking about blueberry Eggos when it suddenly hit Hifumi like that car hit that rabbit. 

_Hiro’s odd statement amused me._

_Amused._

_Amusement._

_Amusement park._

_Amusement park!_

Hifumi shot his hand into the air and nearly dropped his phone while doing so. However, he didn’t care. 

“AMUSEMENT PARK!”

➟

Hiro and Hifumi pretty much finished their quest after forty-five minutes of walking. Well, if you could call it a quest; despite the name _Hi &Hi’s Bizarre Trip Planning_, emphasis on _bizarre_ , it was actually quite boring. At least they seemed to enjoy themselves. 

No matter. Leaning against the wall of a building, Hifumi pulled out the list and looked at it with a satisfied smile. 

“Well,” he said, “we did it. Combined with our sight-seeing and random thoughts, we made a stellar list!”

Hiro, whose excitement mellowed considerably over the past hour, half-heartedly pumped his arm into the air. “Sure, stellar. Whoop-whoop.”

Leaning in, they read the list out. 

  
  


**Hi &Hi’s Bizarre Trip Planning!**

_(Places to go during Mr. Togami’s sleepover)_

  1. The park (volleyball, soccer, picnic, flower picking, birdwatching, etc.)

  2. aNiMe CoNvEnTiOn

  3. Skydiving 

  4. Bowling

  5. Getting ice cream

  6. Performing a séance

  7. Going shopping at the plaza and/or mall (Ice cream may be able to go here)

  8. Dumpster diving

  9. Amusement park

  10. Going camping (or something nature-y)

  11. Scavenger hunting

  12. Open Mic night

  13. Volunteering 

  14. Restaurant

  15. Trampoline park

  16. Zoo

  17. Murder spree

  18. Horseback riding

  19. Spa (?)




Hiro shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed. “So much work for 19 items!”

“Technically, 15; the anime convention is already a no, as we were told earlier today, murder spree and séance are jokes, and I doubt anybody would want to go to the spa. You could argue that we have even less, seeing that dumpster diving may be widely disagreed upon.” Hiro groaned hearing that. 

“I wish we could’ve gotten more—IS THIS THE BANK?!”

Hiro turned around and backed far up so he could see the building’s sign. He grinned and began to do dance moves he learned at his grandmother’s Zumba class. The class was fun, but he now harbors a phobia of dried fruits. 

He stopped and ran over to Hifumi, grabbing his arm and tugging him along. “WE’RE AT THE BANK! C’MON, HURRY!”

Hifumi stared at him and wrenched his arm back. “. . . and, Mr. Hagakure? What does the bank have to do with anything?”

Hiro placed his hands on his hips and laughed while bending backwards. He looked like a crazy person, and people passing by looked scared as they averted their gazes and picked up the pace. 

“This is the bank!” Hifumi blinked, not picking up what Hiro was putting down. “BANK LOLLIPOPS, ‘FUMI! I WANT THE BANK LOLLIPOPS!” 

Hifumi put his hand on his face and slowly shook his head. “W-Why? Literally, why?”

“I HAVEN’T HAD MY FIX IN _AGES_! I NEED SOMETHING SWEET!”

“That makes it sound like you’re a druggie!”

Hiro got on his knees directly in front of Hifumi and folded his hands. Hifumi was tempted to make a joke about yaoi, but bit back the remark. The swindler began to shake his hands and slump forward. Tears rolled down his sunken-in cheeks. 

“‘Fumiiiii!” He whined. “Please, please, please, please go into the bank with me to get a lollipop! I just want sugar!” Hifumi, seeing that Hiro would not let up, began to nod. The moment his head moved, Hiro happily screeched and dragged Hifumi into the bank. 

The moment the two entered, screaming and sweating, a woman gave them a dirty look. And then she gave them a dirty toss, as she reeled back and striked Hifumi in the stomach with an empty Gatorade bottle. 

The bottle fell to the floor as the boys stared at it. With a thunk, they finally realized what hit them. Or, rather, what hit Hifumi. 

“What the hell?” Hiro asked as he picked it up and threw it in the garbage. “Did the aliens descend once more to attack us? Was taking my sandwich at lunch last week not enough?!”

Hifumi beckoned him over from the garbage can with his index finger. “No, Mr. Hagakure, it was that woman.” Then to everybody in the building, “Sorry for being annoying!” The other people huffed and nodded. There were about thirteen people in this area of the bank, including the five employees. 

The Ultimates waltzed over to the line and stood there. There were three people in front of them, and they were getting impatient. Hiro had an idea to make the line move along. 

“Yo, little old lady!” He whisper-yelled at the woman in front of him. When she gave him her attention, he smirked and said, “If you give me your place in line, I’ll tell you when you’re gonna bite the dust!”

The woman scowled at him, but Hiro kept badgering her. “C‘mon, you must wanna know! You’re old and could die any second! Wouldn’t you like to know when? I can tell you how, too!” The lady gripped the handle of her bag. Uh oh. 

Hifumi nudged Hiro. “Mr. Hagakure, I’ve watched enough cartoons and anime to see that when you upset an old lady—”

**SMACK**

“—she slaps you with her large purse before adjusting her clothing and huffing—”

The lady smoothed her long blouse and sharply sucked in a breath. 

“—and giving you one last death glare as she sashays away.” The woman sassily walked out of the bank after transfixing Hiro with an evil-looking stink-eye. Hifumi waved to her while Hiro could only watch with his cheek swelling slightly and his mouth wide-open. “Mr. Hagakure, that’s how you catch flies!”

Hiro glanced at Hifumi, about to laugh at that. Suddenly, a large fruit fly flew into his mouth and he started to choke. Hifumi slapped Hiro’s back and he ended up swallowing the bug. 

“. . . this is some big conspiracy, I swear!” Hiro finally said, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “And, Hifumi, we’re bros! Just call me Hiro!” Hifumi couldn’t bring himself to do that. 

Hifumi tapped Hiro’s shoulder. “Well, you certainly didn’t get the results you wanted from that exchange, but now we can move up a bit in line!”

Giving each other shit-eating grins, they took a large step forward. There was only one person in front of them now, as the other one was taken care of by the bank teller. 

After a few minutes, the person in front of them walked off. The boys eagerly jumped forward, causing the man behind the glass to sweat a bit. 

“Uh . . . hello, how can I help you?” 

Hiro chuckled and rested his arms on the counter. He leaned forward so his forehead was pressing up on the glass. “So—”

The teller shook his head. “Please get your forehead off there. You’re smudging it!” Hiro leaned back slightly. 

“So . . . can I have, like, four of these here lollipops?” Hiro asked. 

The bank teller smiled awkwardly, off-put by this interaction. “Sure, I guess, but what do you need?”

Hiro snorted. “Man, hook me up! I need those sweet, sweet bank lollipops!” Hifumi cringed slightly. 

“I’m not just going to _give_ you lollipops if you have no business here!” The bank teller said matter-of-factly. “You’re taking up space that people who actually need to use the bank’s services could be using!”

“Please! I just want some candy, man!”

Hifumi paled and stiffened where he stood. 

Hiro looked at him. “Yo, ‘Fumi, are you good, bro?” The bank employee also looked concerned.

The fanfiction creator began to speak. His voice dropped to a harsh whisper. “Mr. Hagakure, if you are correct, and this is akin to a slice of life anime . . . I fear that this is when things go horribly wrong!”

Hiro scoffed and turned back around. “Listen, your trope predictions earlier put my abilities to shame, but don’t you think that’s sorta abstract? Like, what could possibly happen?”

“I don’t know, but hear me out! We, the plucky protagonists, almost finished our entire trip out with nothing bad happening in the slightest! How boring! Obviously, something has to go wrong to make the story drive forward!”

“I dunno,” Hiro stated. “Sounds dumb. Like, we said this is like a slice of life, yeah?” A nod from Hifumi was caught in Hiro’s peripheral vision. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Slice of life stuff is always mundane! We literally had a convo about this exact topic earlier! And what story? Slice of lifes are plotless, no?”

“Slice of life anime and manga can have plots! It’s different from other genres because it is mostly realistic fiction and has little to no stakes! Trust me, I write and draw stuff like this for a living! The peace that has been established will crumble right around now!”

“But something going ‘horribly wrong,’” Hiro echoed with exaggerated air quotations, “would literally be super random!” He stared at the bank teller. “You agree with me, yeah?”

The bank teller frowned. How would he word his question in a polite way? He snapped his fingers and gathered his resolve. 

“Um . . . are you guys on drugs or some—”

**TRINNNNG**

The bell connected to the door tolled. A man wearing a ski mask and dark clothing ran into the bank. His chest looked unproportionally bulky compared to the rest of his body. Upon further inspection, he was wearing a bulletproof vest. He held a pistol in his hands. 

The bank teller gasped and ducked down as Hifumi’s face hardened. Hiro, who was confused, whipped around and saw the man, who stilled. They stared at each other, and Hiro noticed a bit of copper-red hair falling from the mask. 

“WHOA, RABBIT GUY?!” Hiro shrieked. Hifumi glanced at the man and gasped. 

“It seems Bunny Boy over here is the villain of this arc! Since you and I are obviously the protagonists, we must defeat him using the power of friendship and whatnot!” Hifumi stated, rubbing his chin. 

Rabbit Guy’s sleepy eyes widened as he realized who the kids were. He rushed forward and grabbed and grabbed a young girl in a fluffy white dress. 

“If any of you guys call the police . . . well, let’s just say that this dress is getting painted red.” The man said, softly smiling. He jabbed the pistol into the terrified child’s midsection as her mother began to whimper. Ignoring the cries of fear, the man went over to the nearest teller and started giving his demands. 

“Alright, everybody down! Put your hands behind your head and slowly get on your knees! After that, shut up and stop fidgeting!” He then twisted himself so he was facing Hifumi and Hiro. He grinned at them. 

Hifumi felt scared, but he couldn’t help but notice that the man sounds a lot like Leon. _It is unsettling to hear an armed maniac sound like a dear friend,_ Hifumi thought. _Well, if you can even define Leon as a friend of mine. Maybe he’s more of a reluctant acquaintance . . . now’s not the time to think of the right word to use!_

Having no choice but to comply, the bank patrons shakily folded their hands behind their hands and sank down. 

His knees up against the cold tile, Hifumi felt lost. Due to an unfortunate coincidence, he and his friend would be hurt. Then again, he recognized that everybody in the bank was in danger. That thought alone caused bile to rise in his throat. The acidity, along with the entire situation he found himself in, made tears start to run down his cheeks. 

Hiro turned to Hifumi, tears welling in his deep brown eyes. “Hey, I just want you to know that if we die, you and the other guys are my only friends and I hope we can meet again in another life!”

Hifumi sniffled. “Same here, Mr. Hagakure! May the force be with all of you! I lo-ove you guys!”

Sighing, the boys looked around. Despair filled the bank as everybody anxiously awaited their fates. The mother of the toddler was sobbing into a teenage boy’s shoulder, who appeared to be her son. The robber, in response, smiled serenely and shook his gun at her. 

“If you don’t shut the fuck up,” he pleasantly said, “I’ll blow your brains out.” That nice mood of his created a striking contrast to the unadulterated fear permeating the bank. 

Suddenly, Hifumi wriggled over to Hiro and whispered to him, careful to not draw the robber’s attention. Over time, Hiro’s tears dried and his eyes lit up. 

After talking for a few tense minutes, Hifumi frowned. “However, this plan is risky and may result in—”

Hiro shushed him, leaning in closer to whisper his response. “I trust you, and I predict that it’ll work! This guy won’t _really_ hurt anybody!” Though both of them smiled, they also knew that there was only a 30% chance that they’d get away with their crazy scheme. 

Both guys looked over to Bunny Boy. He was stuffing a lot of cash into a bag, all while pointing the gun at that girl. Showtime. Hiro dramatically cleared his throat. 

“ROBBING A BANK!” Hiro suddenly screamed. 

“DO YOU WANT TO DIE!?” Everybody else yelled. The Gatorade lady cussed under her breath, wishing she had more garbage to throw. 

“HIFUMI, ADD ‘ROBBING A BANK’ TO THE VERY IMPORTANT LIST THAT WE CANNOT AFFORD FOR ANYBODY TO SEE!”

“P-please stop t-t-talking!” the girl’s mother cried. 

“ROBBING A BaNK!” Hiro said again. _C’mon, ‘Fumi! Let’s go!_

Hifumi looked at him. He was never the best actor by a long shot, but he’d have to try. “Mr. Hagakure,” he said with a horrendous Australian accent for absolutely no good reason, “why are you always suggesting we commit cRIMES DURING OUR SLEEPOVER WITH THE OTHERS?!”

“THIS REMINDS ME OF AN ESCAPE ROOM!” Hiro screeched. He then began to babble like a baby while staring up at the ceiling. 

Awesome distraction. 

Hifumi reached down and pulled out the list. He scribbled ‘robbing a bank’ and ‘escape room’ down. What they seemed to forget is that they were warned not to talk or move. Their captor, however, remembered all too well. 

“. . . Did you fail to get it through your _THICK FUCKING SKULLS_ that I will kill all of you?” He asked, raising his voice to a guttural scream in the middle. “I surmised pretty quickly that you guys are crazy dense, but _really_?”

Rabbit Man (still tugging that poor child along) stomped over to Hifumi and kicked him in the face, much to his friend’s horror. Hifumi’s nose began to pour blood. He roughly ripped the notepad from the otaku’s hands and read it. The man barked out a maniacal cackle. 

“You want your friends to go dumpster diving with you? That’s pathetic and, frankly, pretty nasty.” The man gave the list a scrutinizing look and gasped. He almost dropped the book altogether as he said, “Wait a tick . . . Togami? As in, the richest family in Japan, _Togami_? Is their son a _friend_ of yours?!”

He shoved the girl away from him and reached for Hifumi. Clutching Hifumi’s shirt collar, the scary demeanor dropped from his person. He, overall, seemed amicable, almost wholesome once more. 

“Hey, buddy! I’m so sorry for kicking you!” Rabbit Guy said, shoving the gun to Hifumi’s temple. Giving the scared teenager a warm smile, he prepared to figure out who these two people could possibly be. 

“Maybe Mr. Togami will give me a hefty ransom in exchange for letting you two go . . . no, that’s too risky. I take it you go to Hope’s Peak, right? You two seem to be lesser known Ultimates, because I don’t recognize you! Let’s see . . .”

He cocked his head. “Your most famous male classmate has gotta be rich boy! Oh, or maybe that girly-boy programmer, Churro!”

Hiro nervously laughed. “Uh, do you mean Chihiro—”

“DON’T INTERRUPT ME, PORCUPINE!” The robber screamed. Hiro blinked, taken off guard. “Anyway, neither of you could possibly be that biker with the baguette hair. Well, anyway, Eyebrows and Baseball were on the news, so they couldn’t be you. Not to mention, Baseball is pretty well-known. Huh . . . you aren’t the lucky student, are you? No, neither of you look _nearly_ boring enough.”

Bunny Boy glanced at the notebook. “ . . . is that a _JoJo_ reference? FATSO, DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE THE WEIRDO WITH THE ANIME WAIFUS! I’m a bit hurt that you didn’t mention that to me. I thought we were buddies. . .” He said with faux sadness. 

Hifumi frowned. **_DON’T INSULT MY WAIFUS_** , he aggressively thought. 

Rabbit Man looked at Hiro with a malicious glint in his eyes. “So you’re the fortune-teller? Wow, this is sad! I really didn’t think anybody could be worse than those fucking losers you associate with, but I was sorely mistaken!” The man sighed and casually shrugged. “Well, guess I gotta kill you guys now! After all, you saw my face!”

Hifumi flailed around, grabbing at the man’s hand around his shirt’s collar. “In your dreams, you vile villain! Crawl back into the Black Lagoon of whence ye came!” The rabbit man bonked him on his temple with the gun and watched him fall to the floor. That wasn’t part of the plan, and it hurt quite a bit. Plus, that could’ve ended badly; the man could’ve easily shot him point-blank. For some reason, though, he didn’t. Perhaps Hiro’s prediction had some weight to it. 

Hiro got up, dusted off his pants and frowned. “Listen, I’m a loser, yeah. I was held back three times, I’m in crazy bad debt, and I’m a twenty-year-old surrounded by people who can’t drink yet . . .” The fortune teller balled up his fists. “. . . but I’ll be damned if I let you insult and hurt my friends or these bank-goers!”

Hifumi never felt more proud. “Spoken like a true shōnen anime protagonist, Mr. Haga—Ah, I mean, Hiro!” He called up from the floor. His voice, which was already nasally, sounded even more so with all of the blood up in his nose.

Hiro laughed. “Wow, ‘Fumi, thanks! I’ve never heard you be so . . . informal! It’s a good look on you!” he exclaimed with a thumbs up. 

The bank patrons were surprised, to say the least. These disruptful kids were actually being kinda sweet, in a super weird, very risky way. 

The rabbit guy suddenly turned and pointed his gun at Hiro. “I'll shoot you!” He wavered slightly as Hiro began to laugh. The man smiled in a scary way, but his voice still sounded sickly sweet. “Do you think I won’t?” Hiro’s laughter got louder and he slapped his thigh in response to the threat. 

Laughter. The rabbit guy heard laughter. From Hiro. From Hifumi. From everybody in the bank. The laughter wormed into his ears. The laughter made him feel disgusted. Even though Hiro was the only person laughing, the man felt like everybody may as well have been. The man hated it. He felt like he was dying. 

. . . because, frankly, the man is really melodramatic. Not even in a funny way. This is just sad. 

He sneered. “Stop laughing at me! I REFUSE to be the object of your ridicule!”

**Hahaha!**

**Hahaha!**

**Hahaha!**

“I’LL KILL YOU AND YOUR STUPID LITTLE FRIENDS!”

Hiro looked past the man, where Hifumi was. Hifumi gave him a nod. Hiro shot the man an easy-going smile and a peace sign. 

“Yeah,” Hiro said, “you sure can try, but I think you’ll have issues doing that without a gun!”

“STOP FUCKING WI—!”

As soon as Hiro finished his sentence, Hifumi lept from the floor and rushed at their attacker. Tackling the man, the gun fell to the floor. However, it didn’t go off. 

Hiro nervously walked over to Hifumi, careful not to get in his way. The teenaged boy consoling his mother stared at the gun on the floor. “Is the . . . safety on?” He tentatively asked. He hugged his mom and approached the gun. Staring at it, the kid cried, “Yeah! The safety was on! I-I think . . .”

Hifumi, meanwhile, was wrestling the rabbit man on the floor. While the man was older and well-built, Hifumi was heavier and fairly strong. By the time Hifumi was done, the man probably had a mild concussion and a fair deal of bruises. However, he didn’t fall unconscious.

Hifumi winced. “I really wish I didn’t have to do that, Mr. Bunny Man! However, you forced my hand!”

Hifumi turned around and walked straight into his fortune-telling friend. Before he knew it, Hiro was hugging Hifumi fiercely. Hifumi hesitated before returning the gesture. “BOYS, BOYS, BOYS!” They screamed, crying a little bit. They separated and grinned.

Since the immediate danger was dispelled for the time being, Hiro walked over to the teller window. “Now can I have those lollipops?” The teller nodded, dumbstruck. 

“Thank you! I called the police from under the table without that weird guy’s knowledge, but I feared somebody would get hurt before the police arrived. What you two did was very reckless and based entirely on dumb luck, and really shouldn’t have worked at all . . . but you ended up helping in the long run. So . . . take all of the lollipops you want!” 

Hiro gave the bank teller a lop-sided grin and yoinked the entire can of lollipops from the desk. At that, the teller frowned. He didn’t say Hiro could take the container along with the candy. 

Everybody in the bank clapped. Hifumi realized that this major misadventure they went through sounds like a very bad story that would be posted on r/thathappened, but in this case, that really happened. He huffed victoriously and began to dance a bit. Suddenly, Hiro slapped his back and began to sweat. 

“Wait! The police are on their way?” He asked. The teller nodded. Just as he asked, faint sirens increased in noise. “Nah, nah, I gotta blast. See ya!”

Hifumi groaned. “Shouldn’t we tell the police everything? We are major witnesses, after all.”

Hiro shook his head. “Nope! I’m not going to be the hero all day! Everybody is safe now, sooo . . .” Hiro tugged Hifumi along. Hifumi made sure his notebook was in hand and reluctantly agreed to leave. 

Rabbit Dude, despite aching like crazy, peeled himself from the floor and pushed that teenage boy to the ground. He picked up the gun and took off the safety. As Hiro and Hifumi ran out of the bank, he aimed.

**BANG!**

Hiro felt something slice into his arm. It hurt quite a bit. Scratch that—he was in a lot of pain. However, not noticing that the situation became dangerous again, he and Hifumi just ran faster. 

_The robber threw the gun and ran out of the bank with his bag in hand. He wasn’t seen again, and Hifumi and Hiro failed to describe his face to the authorities, so the chance of his capture was slim. In the end, Rabbit Man got away with armed robbery and attempted murder._

Of course, neither of them knew this; they were too busy high-tailing it. 

Hifumi blinked as they rushed away from the scene. “Hey, what was that bang just now?” He panted. 

Hiro slowed his run to a jog. “I dunno, a party popper? And before you ask me why there’d be a party popper in the bank, I dunno that either!”

Hifumi nodded. “We should find somewhere to hide!”

“Huh? Why?”

“Well, the police might try and look for us! Wow, this is like a chase scene!” What Hifumi was not aware of at that moment in time is that Taka and Leon’s misadventure was much more like a chase scene than his. 

They were running for ten minutes at this point and made it pretty far. They were back by the park in that suburban area. _If Hifumi is right and the cops are after us, we really gotta hide! I can’t afford to be taken to a police station!_ Hiro suddenly got an idea. 

“Let’s break into that house I saw earlier!”

“I REFUSE!”

➟

“OKAY, FINE!”

Even though they _knew_ that they shouldn’t, both boys strolled up to the house. They accidentally trampled on little flowers growing in the front yard. They made it to the front and shimmied the knob with vigor. It was locked. 

“Mr. Hiro,” Hifumi said, attempting to get his attention. While he was told to stop calling Hiro ‘Mr. Hagakure,’ he couldn’t do it completely, so this compromise would have to do. Hiro grunted when he was called out to. “Uh, I think I know this house . . .”

The door clicked open and Chihiro poked his head out. He glanced up and gave the two boys a warm smile. “Hello! What’s . . . w-what happened to your face, Hifumi? And your arm, Hiro? Are you two okay?”

Hiro was momentarily shocked. He was about to stammer an answer, but worked to keep his composure. _Can’t believe I tried to break into Chi-Chi's house, haha!_

Hiro clucked his tongue and jokingly leered down at Chihiro. “We can say the same exact thing to you, Chi-Chi! What’s up with your forehead, huh?”

Chihiro flushed a little bit. “Oh, just a baking—” Hiro flicked him on the head, causing him to yelp, “incIDENT OW!” Chihiro teared up slightly as he rubbed his forehead. 

“Just a baking incident, yeah?” Hiro winced a bit, looking at Chihiro. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking when I jabbed you like that.”

Hifumi smiled a bit. “You’re never thinking.”

Hiro glanced over at Hifumi. “Huh? Can you repeat that? I didn’t hear you, sorry!”

“I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING!” Hifumi squealed, covering his face. Hiro started to laugh. 

“What’s goin’ on out there?” Came the voice of Mondo. He strode over. Staring at Hifumi and Hiro, he groaned. “Why the fuck are all y’all gettin’ injured today? Are ya good?”

Chihiro waved the two guys/robbery foilers into his home. They took off their shoes and placed them on the rack. Walking in, Hiro slipped on a wet area of the floor and crashed into Hifumi. Both of them collapsed like a bag of rocks. 

The baking duo helped them up and took them to the bathroom. There was an open first aid kit in the sink. Easing Hiro on the side of the bathtub and Hifumi on the toilet, the programmer assessed their injuries as the biker rummaged through the first aid kit. 

Chihiro grabbed Hiro's arm and frowned. 

“H-Hey, Hiro, how’d this even happen?” He asked. 

Hiro shrugged. “I dunno. Hifumi and I ran out of the bank after dealing with this robber guy with a gun—”

“BANK ROBBER!?” Mondo screamed. 

“With a _gun_?!” Chihiro squawked. “A-Are you two okay?!”

Hiro squirmed under their intense gazes, and Hifumi looked a bit nervous. “Yeah, we’re fine, for the most part. I mean, ‘Fumi got kicked in the face and pistol whipped, and I got this here scratch, but we’re okay!”

Chihiro rubbed his cheek, attempting to find the words he wanted to use. “ . . . I-I think _scratch_ is an understatement. This l-looks pretty b-bad!”

Mondo had to agree with that. “Aren’t ya in pain, Hiro?”

“Oh, yeah, now that you mention it!” Hiro said with a much too laid-back chuckle. “It’s really not that big of a deal!”

_IAMINSOMUCHPAINRIGHTNOWITAIN’TEVENFUNNYCRAP—!_

Chihiro and Mondo glanced at each other. Sighing, Chihiro began to wash Hiro’s wound as Mondo tried to help Hifumi. However, Hifumi refused the help, running around the bathroom like his pants were on fire. 

“Chi is dealing with Hiro right now ‘n he has a huge headache. Can you quit bein’ a baby ‘n let me help you so the kid can get a break?” Mondo growled, menacingly approaching the otaku with some gauze. “He n’ I jus’ finished cleaning the kitchen of frostin’ n’ we’re tired. Make it easier on us, dammit!”

“No!” Hifumi said, “You’re a biker gang leader! You aren’t equipped to care for people like timid loli-shota like Mr. Fujisaki are!” Chihiro’s mouth dropped open at that statement. Grimacing, he tried to blink back tears. Chihiro’s reaction didn’t go unnoticed by Mondo, who got really angry _really_ fast. 

“GODDAMMIT, HIFUMI! WE AREN’T ANIME TROPES! JUS’ LEMME PATCH UP YER NOSE, FER FUCK’S SAKE!” Mondo finished his outburst by slamming his fist against the sink. Hifumi whimpered and allowed Mondo to help him out. 

Chihiro and Hiro sighed; these people are too loud. 

➟

Chihiro, Mondo, Hifumi, and Yasuhiro all sat on the plush couch in Chihiro’s cozy family room. The addition of two people made it a bit crowded, so Chihiro was atop of Mondo’s right leg and Hiro’s left leg. 

They put on _Naruto_ and set the volume on low. It served as background noise more than something they actually wanted to watch. Some dude hanging out in a tree just whipped out a huge shuriken while talking about babies and foxes. Hifumi looked fairly invested. He’d seen it before, of course, but the wonders of the 2-dimensional world and animation never failed to intrigue him. 

_It’s lovely! Other-worldly!_ Hifumi thought to himself. _To take drawings and make them move! Feel! Live in a whole new world! It’s . . . beautiful!_

“So,” Chihiro softly asked, jolting Hifumi from his awe, “are you comfortable with telling us what happened?”

Hiro cringed. While ending up okay, the entire situation was nightmare fuel for him. In fact, he’d have to make sure his dream catcher was hanging properly tonight. Maybe he’d give one to Hifumi, as well. He had plenty to spare. 

“We-ell,” Hiro started, drawing out the word, “we were walking around looking for places to put on _Hi &Hi’s Bizarre Trip Planning_ list—”

Hifumi slouched a bit in his seat. “Crap, Mr. Hiro, you ruined the surprise!” Hiro responded by knocking his fist against his temple. 

Chihiro grinned in his trademarked infectious way. “Aw, y-you guys actually started making the list? You didn’t have to!” As expected, everybody on the sofa began to beam.

“I think everybody will share that thought, ‘specially Makoto and Byakuya!” Mondo declared. “I’m glad ya two did that, though! That’s . . . surprisingly cool of ya!”

“Oh, what a silly thing to say! Of course we had to, Mr. Fujisaki and Mr. Oowada! Mr. Hiro and I were racked with guilt for abusing the trust all of you graciously gave us! We knew we had to make it up to you and the other boys somehow! Otherwise, we’d be brought down with shame!” Hifumi said, somewhat overzealously. Hiro nodded along with each syllable. The man soon became dizzy. 

“So, anyway,” Hiro slurred, trying to shake off his self-inflicted disorientation, “we pointed out places to go and things to see and put them in a list.” Hifumi pulled out the notebook and back-handed the cover to emphasize it, not noticing that it was positively soaked with blood. 

“Mr. Hiro and I walked all around the city, looking for things to write down. We eventually came across a man that accidentally ran over a bunny.” He hummed. “I’m actually not even sure if it was accidental, at this point. Well, never mind. We stared at him for a while and got a good look at his face. Remember that; it’s important.”

“We ended up by the bank forty minutes later, give or take, and I convinced Hifumi to go in with me for those lit lollipops.” Hiro rummaged through his baggy pants pocket and pulled out a green one and a purple one. He handed them to Mondo and Chihiro, respectively. 

“Thanks!” They said in sync. 

“No problem, dudes!”

Hifumi scrunched his eyes as he tried to remember what happened next. “Um, we go in, irritate a few less-than-happy normies . . .”

“ . . . I freaked out an old hag so we could get to the teller quicker . . .”

“ . . . and the teller told Mr. Hiro that we cannot have any lollipops if we have no business there.”

“Which is dumb! My business was lollipops! Anyway, Hifumi started predicting that something bad was going to happen because this is a slice of life anime . . .”

Mondo frowned. _Slice of life . . . huh? The fuck is that supposed to mean?_

“. . . and Bunny Boy walked in with a gun!” 

The usual pink tint to Chihiro’s cheeks rushed away. “I am still so sorry you two had to go through that! How a-awful!”

Hiro smiled. “Thanks, but if I’m being honest, we’re okay! Don’t worry, Chi-Chi!” Chihiro nodded slightly, so Hiro continued the story. “Hifumi and I recognized him, and he recognized us, so he told us he’d have to kill us and threatened to murder some kid if anybody called the police.” Mondo stiffened at that. 

“He gave the teller his demands and told everybody in the bank to be quiet and not move.” Hifumi said. 

“Hifumi and I were freaking out, but Hifumi made this plan to cause a distraction. I kinda forgot how it went.”

Hifumi flushed a bit and stared at the television. “The plan was just screaming to grab the man’s attention. For it to work, the man had to divert his attention to Mr. Hiro and give me enough time to tackle him! It was very risky, of course.”

“So, he went over, kicked Hifumi in the face, lifted him up by his collar, and read the list, noticing that we are having a sleepover at Bya-Bya’s. He pretty much insulted you guys, which pissed me off, and started to gloat about murdering us.” 

“After struggling a bit in his grasp, the man hit me with the gun. However, it was a blessing in disguise, as he went to Mr. Hiro after that, which worked out in the plan. I was able to get him unarmed and wrestle him.”

“I got the lollipops, we ran out of the bank, and a party popper went off. Somehow, I got scratched, heh.” Hiro ended his statement by sticking out his bandaged arm. “Then, we ran from the police because I really can’t be taken to the station, and we decided to try and break into your house.”

“I’m sorry for allowing him to attempt that, Mr. Fujisaki!” Hifumi added. “We were just nervous!”

Chihiro giggled. “While I d-don’t condone breaking and entering, it’s a g-good thing you guys came here!”

Mondo decided to break his silence. “I’m glad ya came here, too. However, a party popper? I kinda doubt that!”

“Pfffft, don’t be silly, Mondo! What else could’ve made that noise?” Hiro said. Mondo and Chihiro exchanged another look. 

“Well, was there a party popper at the scene, Hiro?” Chihiro asked, knitting his brows together. 

“No, not that I remember.”

“Didn’t ya say that there was a gun? Ya know, the one that the rabbit bitch stormed in with, threatened a kid with, and fucked Hifumi’s face up with? _That_ gun?”

Hiro blinked. 

The bakers stared at him. 

“I dunno what the gun has to do with the party popper, Mondo . . .” Hiro finally said. 

“ . . . Are . . . A-Are ya actually that much of an idiot, Hiro!? Did ya wake up this mornin’ ‘n think, ‘wowie, today is a fantastic day to be a dumb fuck’!?”

“Ouchie! I resent that, Mondo! I don’t think I’m being stupid, you’re just being rude for no good reason!” Hiro shouted, shoving an accusatory finger in Mondo’s face. 

Mondo frowned but ultimately dropped the scary look in his eyes. “Yer right,” he mumbled, “I-I’m sorry . . . I was sorta outta line there. That being said, don’t you get what Chi ‘n I are tryna say about the party popper?”

Hiro shook his head. A vein became visible on Mondo’s temple, causing Hiro to lean as far away from him as humanly possible. The gangster decided to slump forward and growl at his friend’s idiocy. 

Sighing, Chihiro glanced over to Hiro. “Think about it. What could’ve injured you like that and made a loud noise?”

Hifumi rubbed his chin. Putting two and two together, he gasped. Honestly, he was surprised that he didn’t figure it out earlier. 

“Oh, oh, _ohhhhh_! You got shot, Mr. Hiro!”

Hiro frantically shook his head once more. “No way! You beat the crap outta that guy! His soul probably ascended or something, that’s how good you beat him!”

“Ya obviously got shot, Hiro! Why the fuck would somebody trigger a party popper that causes ya ta mysteriously get a wound on yer arm!?” Mondo said. He was getting seriously ticked off. “‘Oh shit, we almost died! Whelp, let’s party!’ Like, what!?”

“Hey, Mondo, the party popper obviously didn’t create the scratch, it was the aliens! And I don’t think this is a gunshot wound! I would have the bullet in my arm if it were!” Mondo, Chihiro, and Hifumi shook their heads. 

“Hiro,” Chihiro said, trying to gently break the news, “it s-seems most likely that you got grazed. That’s why the bullet isn’t in your arm, and that’s why it only tore the top layer of your skin.”

“But the party—”

“There wasn’t a party popper, please stop,” Hifumi said, having enough of this.

“Ohhh,” Hiro said. Then his eyes widened. Jumping slightly (and almost causing Chihiro to fall), he screeched, “I GOT SHOT!?” Hiro began to breathe heavily in his seat, causing Mondo and Chihiro to try and ease his worries by rubbing his back. 

Hifumi grimaced looking at Hiro. “Mr. Hiro, let’s go to Ms. Tsumiki at the nurse’s office after leaving here!” He said. “S-She can help!”

Hiro looked off to the side, trying to calm down. “Um, y-yeah. Thanks for being here with me, guys. And, uh, dealing with me . . .”

“Mr. Hiro, what are friends for, after all? We’d be really bad ones if we weren’t here for you!” Hifumi exclaimed. 

Mondo scoffed. “Yep! Yer makin’ it sound like hangin’ with ya is a chore, Hiro. We do it ‘cuz we like ya. As I said in the chat, y’all are brain dead, but we’re still bros!”

“Yeah!” Chihiro agreed. “We’re all friends here! Sorry if Mondo and I came off as aggressive, but we just need to make sure you two are okay and stuff!”

Hifumi smiled. “You didn’t come off as aggressive in the slightest, Mr. Fujisaki!”

Hiro whistled a bit and cleaned underneath his nails. “ _Mindi_ , on the other hand . . .” Chihiro and Hifumi laughed at that jab. 

Mondo frowned, but he did so to hide his growing smile. “Y’all suck . . . that was funny, though, I’ll give ya that! And, listen, I really am sorry fer yellin’ at ya, Hiro. It was really outta concern . . . ‘n some frustration.”

Hiro waved his hand and smiled. “Nah, water over the bridge!”

“Under . . .” Hifumi coughed. 

“ _Under_ the bridge!” Hiro loudly corrected himself. He and Mondo grinned at each other. Water under the bridge, indeed. 

They all fell into a comfortable silence and fixed how they were on the couch. 

Chihiro got off of his friend’s laps and perched himself on the arm of the chair. He almost toppled off, but Mondo grabbed his arm in the nick of time. Mondo, Chihiro, and Hiro all began to laugh at the near-miss. Hifumi smiled and took a picture. He’d use it as a drawing reference someday. 

“Would you guys like to watch something before you go? I can put on _Avatar: The Last Airbender_!” Chihiro chirped. Mondo high-fived him. 

“Chi, Lee, Bro, ‘n I watched half of the first season together! That show is lit, guys!”

Hifumi pondered it. “Is that the anime-esque one with the small monk boy and the lemur? If so, I’m in!”

A certain ditzy fortune-teller was confused. “Hey, Chihiro, what’s _Avatar_?” He asked. 

Chihiro opened his mouth to answer, but there was no need. The television screen suddenly paused _Naruto_. It was overtaken by static, but you could just barely make out a person’s head. Then, the background turned green as Chihiro’s face popped up. 

“𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘, 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚘! 𝙸 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚊 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚍!” Alter Ego paused and directed his attention to a confused Hiro and a blushing Hifumi. “𝙾𝚑, 𝙷𝚒𝚛𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙷𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚖𝚒! 𝙸𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕! 𝙰𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗! _𝙰𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚛: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝙰𝚒𝚛𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 (𝙰𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚛: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚎𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝙰𝚊𝚗𝚐_ 𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜) 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚗 𝙰𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝙽𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚜, 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙵𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟻 𝚝𝚘 𝙹𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟾.” 

Mondo awkwardly laughed, thinking that Alter Ego was talking too much about too little. “Er, okay, A.E.—”

“ _𝙰𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚛_ 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗 𝙰𝚜𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚌-𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚟𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚜 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚊𝚜 ‘𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐.’”

“H-Hey, Alter Ego, I think that’s—” Chihiro said, trying to get Alter Ego to stop. However, he was interrupted by the motor-mouth AI. 

“𝙾𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚞𝚊𝚕, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙰𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚛, 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜—”

As Alter Ego rambled on about _Avatar_ from the Wikipedia article he pulled up, Hifumi began to blush harder and stare at the screen. Finally, Alter Ego finished reading the parts of the article that aren’t spoilers, which was still a fair deal of it. 

“Thank you for informing Hiro of the basics of the show, Alter Ego!” Chihiro said, grinning. “Maybe only read the bare necessities of the article next time, though! Good—”

“Um, Princess!” Hifumi cried out. Alter Ego paused and glanced at him. 

“P-Princess . . .?” Chihiro tentatively asked. Mondo’s pulse quickened. He and Leon never told Chihiro that Hifumi had taken an . . . _intimate_ liking to Alter Ego. 

_Oh, shit . . . he’s not going to be a creep **right here,** right . . . ?_

Hifumi pushed his index fingers together and mumbled under his breath. Mondo scowled as he looked at him. 

“𝙸𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝙷𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚖𝚒?”

“Um, I was just wondering where the . . .” Hifumi shot a glance toward Chihiro, who looked extremely creeped out “ . . . outfit I looked up and asked you to replicate is!”

Alter Ego blinked and pursed his lips in thought. “𝙳𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚒—”

“A.E., go offline and only come back if ya think it’s necessary!” Mondo ordered. The television flickered off and Mondo slugged Hifumi in the arm as Hiro clamped a hand on Hifumi’s shoulder. 

The three boys looked at Chihiro, who was covering his face in his hands. 

“Hifumi . . . p-please don’t h-have Alter Ego dress cat m-maid outfits. Or any kind of l-lewd clothing, actually. He’s an advanced A.I. program, not a d-dating simulator. Plus, h-he was d-designed to look like m-me, which makes everything sorta w-weird.” Chihiro lifted his head. “I-I’m sorry . . .”

“ . . . you’re right. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry, Mr. Fujisaki.” Hifumi straightened in his seat. “Truly. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?” While still having feelings for the program, Hifumi did genuinely realize that his behavior was inappropriate. Perhaps he’d just be a little less overt in speaking with the program in the future. 

Chihiro beamed at him. “Of course! I-I’m not angry, just a bit uncomfortable!” 

Hifumi sighed. “That truly was not my intention. I cannot live with myself now. It’s like if Naruto said, ‘Hey, I’m sick of trying to be the Hokage! Believe it!’ No, I can’t believe it! He’d die before he’d let that happen, just like I’d die before I ever make you uncomfortable again!”

Chihiro blinked. “Er . . . y-you sorta lost me there . . . but y-you don’t have to be so dramatic! It’s okay, really! Maybe just . . . refrain from doing that, p-please.”

“What can I say? I’m an active member of the overdramatic gang!”

Chihiro leaned forward and stuck his fist out. Hifumi stared at it for a moment before realizing that he was to meet him halfway. They lightly bumped and gave each other toothy grins. 

“Ka-boooooooosh!” They cried as their fists collided. Mondo and Hiro shared a grave look that just screamed, the audacity of these people!

“Nah, nah, Mondo and I want in too, guys!” Hiro called, crossing his arms. 

“Yeah, I dunno what y’all think this is,” Mondo said, teasingly quirking his eyebrow. “C’mon, from the top!”

Pulling their arms back, the four boys clenched their hands into fists. 

“On three!” Mondo screamed. 

“One!” Chihiro screeched. 

“Two!” Hiro yelled. 

“Three!” Hifumi squealed. 

They rushed their fists to the center. 

“BOYS, BOYS, BOYS!” They all shouted. 

**KA-BOOOOOOSH!**

After talking a bit more, they put on the show. All four boys had a grand time watching it together. 

“Zuko is such a badass!” Mondo said, watching him face off against Aang. “Aang’s a tough cookie as well, though! Fuckin’ legend!”

“What happened to his eye, though?” Hiro asked as he threw up his hands. “Like, how’d he get that burn? He bends fire!”

“That’s a spoiler, so I won’t be telling you!” Chihiro teased, reaching over to wag a finger in Hiro’s face. “Poor guy, though . . .”

“Ah, Zuko! The bad boy villain! Surely a fan favorite!” Hifumi remarked. “I wonder how his character continues to develop later on!”

Finally, the first episode reached its conclusion, so Hiro and Hifumi left the house. Both apologized for stopping by unannounced and making them discomfited. 

“It’s not an issue!” Chihiro said, smiling. “We’re just glad you two are okay! Can you tell Tsumiki I said ‘hi’?”

Mondo nodded. “As fer the A.E. thing . . . well, I’m glad ya get how weird that is, even if only a little bit! So, don’t worry too much . . . just make sure not to do it again! Anyway, if y’all didn’t stop by, we wouldn’t have watched _Avatar_ together, which was pretty fuckin’ fun.”

They all grew a bit closer today. 

➟

Hiro and Hifumi went back to Hope’s Peak and decided to hang out the rest of the day in Hifumi’s room after going to the nurse's office and changing their clothes. 

Hiro was wearing muted-orange harem pants with an off-white bomber jacket and a well-worn tank top the color of toffee. He had a scrunchie on his wrist as always, which caused that Traditional Dancer upperclassman to start screaming _sksksks_ in his presence a few months back. What that means, he has absolutely no clue. 

Hifumi was wearing a _Demon Angel✩Pretty Pudgy Princess_ (showcasing a chubby magical girl with a Cupid’s bow) graphic T-shirt that was partially covered by his little pink hoodie. He was wearing black shorts as well. 

They began to play _Scrabble_ , which Hiro and Hifumi were pitifully bad at. However, Hiro was bad at it because he sucks at spelling and has a limited vocabulary; Hifumi was bad at it because he kept using random television tropes that aren’t valid words in the _Scrabble_ dictionary. 

“Okay,” Hiro said, “I’m putting down an _E_!”

Hifumi curtly nodded, concentrating on the board. “I see! I shall place _A-H-O-G_ to make the word _ahoge_! Good thing I had those letters!”

Hiro frantically waved his hands. He was incoherently muttering. He pulled out his phone and huffed before shoving it in Hifumi’s face. 

“Ahoge is not a valid word!” Hiro said. Hifumi flushed and pointed at the link under it. 

“Well, this website says it is!”

“It’s not!”

“It is!”

“Hifumi, you’re literally wrong!” Hifumi suddenly fell silent, chewing his lip. Hiro raised his brow and waved his hand in front of the otaku’s face. “What, you salty about it or something?” Hiro asked, slightly concerned. Hifumi shook his head. 

“No, Mr. Hiro . . . there was something bothering me from earlier, but I seem to have forgotten it!”

Hiro patted Hifumi’s shoulder. “Eh, I know the feeling! Take your time and try to remember!”

Both Ultimates sat in silence for a bit. Hifumi closed his eyes . . . and suddenly flipped over the board with a laugh. 

“EEEEYAAAA! I know what’s been bugging me, Mr. Hiro!” He yelled with an air of pride. He sheepishly smiled when he realized he overturned the board. “Ah, sorry about that! I just got excited!”

Hiro stared at the letter pieces that were unceremoniously thrown onto the floor. He had a moment of silence for them before turning to Hifumi. “What’s it?”

Hifumi frowned. “Well, I was thinking about the . . . bank. Rabbit Guy said that Leon and Taka were on the news, correct? That’s been bothering me!”

Hiro scratched his stubble. “Yeah, now that you mention it, I found that kinda weird, too! I wonder why they ended up there!”

Hifumi grabbed his laptop and opened it so it was facing the two of them. They looked up “Kiyotaka Ishimaru and Leon Kuwata” and clicked on the tab labeled “news.”

The first article they saw, which was posted about forty minutes before the robbery, explained how Leon and Taka went into EON and shoplifted a scarf. In order to escape, they stole a cart and went all around to find Chihiro’s house. Afterward, they were taken back to the supermarket by a cabbie and detained by the police. 

Hiro was laughing so hard he fell off the bed as Hifumi could only gape at the article. 

“How did they manage to do that!? What the heck?” Hiro wheezed, rolling on the rug. “That’s stupid as hell, and _I’m_ saying that!”

Hifumi began to laugh as well. “Indeed, Mr. Hiro! It seems that between the Ishimaru/Kuwata duo, Fujisaki/Oowada duo, and us, none of us could escape the stupidity!”

Hiro flopped onto the bed, chuckling slightly. “I wonder what Makoto and Bya-Bya are up to!”

Hifumi smiled and said, “I have no clue!” Just as he said that, his phone pinged. It was a text from Byakuya. _Speak of the Devil in Prada,_ he joked to himself. _Ooh, I like that nickname I just gave him~!_

  
  


Private messages between _Hifumi Yamada_ and _Byakuya Togami_

_Hifumi Yamada’s_ contact name for _Byakuya Togami_ :

**Blue Blood**

_Byakuya Togami’s_ contact name for _Hifumi Yamada:_

**Yamada Hifumi**

  
  


**Blue Blood:** Yamada, Oowada told me that you and Hagakure have been working on something pertaining to the sleepover. 

**Yamada Hifumi:** Did he ruin the surprise? (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

**Blue Blood:** No, he didn’t say anything in specific, so calm down. Get Hagakure and meet me and Naegi at _Café Nom Générique Fantaisie_ in twenty minutes.

**Blue Blood:** By the way, that kaomoji looks utterly disgusting. Fix it immediately. 

**Yamada Hifumi:** ( ╥ω╥ )

**Blue Blood:** Much better. Hurry it up, now. I hate having my time wasted.

**Yamada Hifumi:** Of course! Allow to change into something else! Goodbye!

**Blue Blood:** Bye. 

  
  


Hifumi pressed down on the power button and glanced over to Hiro. In their attempts to make amends for their mistake earlier in the day, they got a lot closer. Hiro is lazy and bird-brained at times, yes, and Hifumi can admit that he can be pretty annoying and insensitive on occasion, but he likes to think that when push comes to shove, they know when to get serious and show their true colors. 

He thought back on the day. They were walking around, laughing, hanging out, and gorging themselves on those (frankly, overhyped) bank lollipops. Was this . . . friendship?

Before Hope’s Peak, Hifumi didn’t have many friends. Now, he has Celeste (when she isn’t having temper tantrums) and the guys in his class. Well, maybe calling most of the boys his “friends” is an overstatement; they haven’t been close for very long. At the very least, they’re on decent terms. 

Well, maybe things will change. Maybe they already have!

However, Hifumi didn’t voice these thoughts aloud. Instead, he reached over to nudge Hiro and told him about Byakuya and Makoto wishing to meet up at the café. Hiro nodded, and the two Ultimates walked out of the dorm. 

While being caught in a bank robbery was traumatizing, to say the least, Hifumi was glad he could face the world with his friends by his side and crack a few jokes along the way. Ah, yes: humor and a touch of peril! Two of the three things that are totally fanfiction worthy! The third, you may be asking?

. . . friendship, of course. The most powerful weapon of all!

  
  


Chapter 2 Part 4 - _Hi &Hi’s Bizarre Trip Planning!_

**END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, sorry if Hiro and Hifumi were written super out of character. I’ll be honest and say that they were the only THH cast members I despised. I sorta grew to appreciate them a bit more, though, so I hope this chapter did them justice!
> 
> Also, soy sauce on vanilla ice cream—I actually tried it (and got clowned on by my little brother for doing so) and maybe I just added too much sauce the two times I tried it, but it was way too strong. I can see how it can taste like salted caramel, though.
> 
> Anyway, tag yourself! I’m ă̈ w̆̈ĭ̈n̆̈ f̆̈ŏ̈r̆̈ t̆̈h̆̈ĕ̈ ŏ̈t̆̈ă̈k̆̈ŭ̈ n̆̈ă̈t̆̈ĭ̈ŏ̈n̆̈!
> 
> Byakuya and Makoto fanboys, get excited! This next part is gonna star them! To conclude, I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I certainly enjoyed writing this!


	6. Update and Preview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I, the author with the shittiest schedule, show a preview for the next part and give an apology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Wow, I sorta need to rewrite parts five and six. Well, it shouldn’t take too long! This’ll be done in no time for the readers! :^]
> 
> Homework, essays, group projects, and service hours: Allow us to introduce ourselves. 
> 
> Me: :^[

⚣

Chapter 2 Part 5 -  _ Makoto and Byakuya’s Major Manor Mayhem! _

  
  


Makoto was in his dorm room after helping Leon to the nurse’s office (he still feels very bad about being the direct cause for his trip there) and witnessing Chihiro getting thrown up on (poor guy). He spent a while in his room reading some manga Hifumi recommended to him and texting his sister. After getting bored of reading and being told by Komaru that she had to get to working on her spring break packet, Makoto decided to play  _ Minecraft _ . 

Using up about an hour of his time (though, he genuinely wasn’t keeping track) making pixel art of a pink elephant blowing bubbles from its trunk, Makoto’s phone pinged. Wondering who it was, Makoto spun in his swivel chair and grabbed it (an iPhone 2 with a solid navy blue case—very basic) and pulled up the Messages app. 

_ Byakie? Why does he want to talk?  _ Makoto wondered to himself. Shrugging slightly, Makoto read the text. 

  
  


Private messages between  _ Makoto Naegi  _ and  _ Byakuya Togami _

_ Makoto Naegi’s  _ contact name for  _ Byakuya Togami:  _ **Bye-Bye Bya-Bya**

_ Byakuya Togami’s  _ contact name for  _ Makoto Naegi:  _ **Naegi Makoto**

  
  


**Bye-Bye Bya-Bya:** Naegi, I need you to come over to my house immediately. Bring your duffel bag and anything else you need for the sleepover; I’m going to have you stay over earlier for convenience. 

**Naegi Makoto:** If you dont mind me asking, why?

**Bye-Bye Bya-Bya:** I didn’t ask you to ask  _ me _ questions. 

**Naegi Makoto:** I dont think Im asking for much Byakie

**Bye-Bye Bya-Bya:** Well, I suppose not. I need you to come over to help me with getting my home ready. 

**Naegi Makoto:** Makes sense 

**Naegi Makoto:** Okay, see you soon! I just need to get changed and grab my sleeping bag and stuff!

**Bye-Bye Bya-Bya:** Goodbye. 

**Naegi Makoto:** Bye-Bye, Bya-Bya!

**Bye-Bye Bya-Bya:** You say that every time I finish texting you. It will never be funny.  _ You _ will never be funny. 

**Naegi Makoto:** :,(

  
  


Makoto smiled. While Byakuya was still pretty mean, most of it was either joking (to a degree) or mildly rude instead of downright nasty. 

. . . that’s not to say that Byakuya can’t be nasty, of course. That was his way of life for a good while, as just about everybody in his class can attest to. 

Makoto slipped out of his uniform and went over to his closet. He pondered over his outfit for the day before pulling out a dull green hoodie to put on underneath a black blazer. He grabbed black jeans and put on red high tops. 

Makoto dug deeper into his closet and pulled out the black duffel bag he packed the other day. He frowned and reached even further to grab his navy sleeping bag. Tossing both bags on his unmade bed, he stretched a bit; he was sitting for quite some time. 

Preparing to leave with his belongings in hand, Makoto’s phone pinged again from his back pocket. He whipped it out and smiled brightly upon reading the text. 

“Wow, Leon wants to come up with some plans together! I’m glad they took my suggestion to heart!”

✩

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the wait! I know I teased this penultimate part a lot in the previous one, but I really wasn’t prepared to be so totally bogged with work. The rewrite is actually almost done now, so at least part five should be out sometime in the near future, for real. 
> 
> The reason I had to rewrite it? Byakuya and Makoto surprisingly hard to write. I thought Hiro or Hifumi would be the worst, but NO, Byakuya and Makoto just fucked my shit up. I don’t know how dick-ish is the best balance for Byakuya, and I want to give Makoto a semblance of flavor while still making him a relatable dude, you feel me? 
> 
> Again, I’m very sorry! Please have a lovely day if you’re reading this, and I hope you enjoyed that little teaser of what’s to come! 
> 
> P.S.: The title is a placeholder. This chapter has a lot going on, but unless I can think of a better one, this is how it’ll be.


End file.
